You Are Not Alone
by belletylers
Summary: It's New Year's Eve, and during the search for a crazed serial killer, Tony and Ziva go missing. What's more, Ziva's keeping secrets. Will the team be able to pull through, or will they fall apart? Final chapter is up! Thanks for reading!
1. Taken

**You Are Not Alone**

"Boss, come _on, _it's New Year's Eve!" Anthony DiNozzo wined, following Jethro Gibbs into the NCIS bullpen.

Gibbs stood behind his desk. "I don't care, DiNozzo," he replied gruffly. "You're not leaving until we find _something _on this damn case. Before another female petty officer is killed. You wanna have that on your conscience, knowing you could've done something to stop it?"

Tony gulped. "No, Boss."

"And that goes for all of you!" Gibbs called out to Ziva and McGee, who were sitting to the right and across from him, respectively.

Tony knew this case was going to be a hard one, right from the first death three months back. Now, there had been six killings, all the same circumstances: Jane Does dressed in Navy uniforms. The poor women were tortured, always with cuts precisely placed so they would hurt as much as possible without being fatal. The cause of death was always a deep gash on the stomach. But the strangest thing was, the killer always took something from his victims. The first woman, it was her right thumb, the second her blonde ponytail, the third her left foot, the fourth he hammered out a tooth. The fifth woman had her eyes cut out and the last woman had her right leg taken.

Whenever the team were dealing with a complete psycho, Tony always relied on Gibbs to keep them together and strong, but it wasn't happening. Each and every one of those women had families. Husbands and children that would have to live without them. Now the ex-Marine was just desperate to catch whoever was doing these horrible things.

The Senior Field Agent sighed as he sat at his own desk. It could be worse. It wasn't like they had _nothing. _

Although, it was pretty close to nothing.

The first two victims were in fact Lieutenants, but the third was a Navy SEAL dressed in an incorrect uniform. It wasn't the first time a killer had done this. The fourth death hit them the hardest, when it turned out to be NCIS Agent Cadence Williams, a mere casual acquaintance to the team, but nonetheless a depressing crime scene to work.

And now, the MCRT were stuck until they could solve their case, and all they had going for them was the fact that the victim could be any type of Navy personnel, and the one _tiny _amount of forensics that Abby had miraculously been able to recover. Since there was nothing at the crime scene other than the bodies, Abby had to test them for any possible evidence, and in the gash to the fifth victim's stomach was a _hair. _Unfortunately, the hair sample was so small that they had three possible killers instead of one.

They had come to the conclusion that it had to be one of the three Mason brothers: Thomas, Judd or Christopher.

Thomas and Judd both lived in Miami so it was unlikely that they were the killers but they had both been nearly impossible to contact. They were holding off on actually travelling to Miami unless absolutely necessary. But Tony felt they were close. He just hoped Ziva wouldn't go alone and have another run-in with the Miami Heat.

None had any relations with any of the victims apart from the possible murders so the team put BOLOs out on all three of the brothers. No hits.

Until now.

"I got a hit on a BOLO on Christopher Mason's car, Boss," McGee said, printing it and handing it to the silver-haired man.

Christopher. The one who lived just outside D.C. This could be it.

"Tony, take Ziva with you," Gibbs said to his agents, who already had their gear ready. The sheet had an address on it that Gibbs knew to be a house. Maybe there was a chance they would catch this guy.

The two scurried into the elevator, knowing that they would have to be quick if they had any hope of catching one of the elusive three brothers. Tony so desperately wanted this case to end, not just because it was New Year's Eve, but because of the pain this case was causing the team. They all hated to see those women killed like they were. Which is why, in a rare occurrence, Tony allowed Ziva to drive.

Not many words were exchanged in the car, other than the occasional "Watch out!" when Ziva nearly hit another car. Upon their arrival, both were relieved to see that the car of the man in question was still parked on the curb.

The pair pulled out their weapons and Ziva proceeded to pick the lock. The two stealthily moved about the dark house. If Mason was here, he wasn't making it very obvious.

Once downstairs had been cleared, they moved up to the top floor, where one of the doors had a crack of light coming through the bottom. The tiptoed across the wooden floorboards, neither surprised when it was Tony's foot that made a creaking noise.

Ziva placed a hand around the knob and turned it slowly, looking at Tony first to confirm if he was ready. He was. He always was.

Much to their disappointment, the room was depressingly empty. After searching much of the house, Tony decided it was safe to let his guard down a little.

"Guess we're back to square one," he sighed.

Then there was a _click. _

The doors and windows of the upstairs bedroom locked.

"What's happening?" Tony asked, sounding more than a little concerned as he pulled violently hard on the door.

Ziva held up a finger and turned her head. "Do you smell that, Tony?" she asked.

"Smell wha—" he was cut off by the worrying sight of the Israeli collapsing onto the floorboards.

"Ziva? Ziva!" he yelled as he rushed to her side.

He turned her on her side, just in case she might have fainted, and when nothing happened, he felt for a pulse. He inhaled deeply and a sigh of relief escaped him when he found it. Big mistake.

He too collapsed onto the hard wood floor, helpless against whatever had taken over them. And of course, neither saw the dark figure approach them.

...

Tony was the first to awaken, and was more than surprised to find a sleeping Ziva next to him, but that was the least of his worries.

He figured he and Ziva had been gassed. There was no other way that both of them would have fallen unconscious at the same time. But now that had serious consequences.

The room he was in appeared to be covered in tile. There was nothing in there except a very small air vent and a dirty sheet. There was a door, but it was made of solid steel. No way could they break through it.

No holes.

No windows.

No escape.


	2. Secrets

"Ziva," Tony whispered as he gently shook his partner's shoulder. "Ziva, wake up."

She wouldn't wake. But she was breathing.

Knowing he would probably regret it, he proceeded to pinch the Israeli on the shoulder, which caused her to awaken and sit up abruptly.

Ziva's heart was beating fast. "Where are we?" she asked.

"I don't know. I think we were gassed at Christopher Mason's house," Tony replied solemnly.

"I could smell it," Ziva recalled, rubbing the bruise on the back of her head from when she hit the floor.

"Yeah, before you passed out. That's all I remember."

Ziva nodded and stood up to investigate their 'prison'. Even she couldn't see a possible escape. There was a loose tile on one of the walls, but behind it was concrete. And it was small. Half the size of the shipping container they got stuck in a few years back.

"How long were we out?" Ziva asked, speaking before turning around to meet Tony's eyes.

He glanced at his watch. "It was nine when we got to the house, so...six hours."

"Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year."

After a few seconds of peaceful silence, Ziva growled and punched the wall with her fist, hard.

"Hey, calm down, you'll hurt yourself," Tony said, rushing over to see if she was alright.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she yelled, stepping away from him. "We're stuck in here, Tony. We have no food, no water, and we have no idea where we are." She pulled out her cell phone. No reception.

"Braless again, Ziva?" Tony asked, smiling. "You should really—"

Tony couldn't finish that sentence before he found himself pinned against the wall.

"You're picking _now _to make jokes, Tony?" asked a clearly very worried Ziva. "You couldn't do it in the office, or the field, but as soon as we're trapped in a small space with little hope of survival you just..." She took a deep breath and released her grip, turning away.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Tony said sincerely. "That was uncalled for. But it could be worse."

Ziva looked at him expectantly.

"We could be stuck here with McGee."

Ziva rolled her eyes and mumbled something angrily.

"What was that?" Tony asked, growing frustrated himself.

"I _said,_" Ziva repeated loudly. "I'd rather it was McGee!"

That remark hit Tony hard. After all they'd been through together, Ziva preferred McGee to be with her in what could possibly be her dying hours? Tony couldn't even think of a witty retort to throw back at her.

"Do you really hate me that much?" Tony asked, his emerald eyes pleading for honesty. It wasn't what she said, but how she had said it.

Ziva thought about the question she was being asked. She didn't _hate _him. She sometimes acted as though she did to distract herself from the fact that she felt quite the opposite. But she owed her life to Tony, and although he could say the same about her, it didn't make it any less special.

She didn't really want McGee here. Tony could read her in a different way than anyone else ever had. They were partners, joined by a strong bond, and after the years they had spent together, it seemed right that they go down together, too.

She only said it because she was scared. Scared that they wouldn't get out of this. Scared that she would die pathetically in this little room, after surviving so much worse. It surprised her just how terrified she was. She remembered this feeling. She felt it in Somalia, only there it was much worse.

She was scared that she would never settle down and have a family, find the right man and have little children. She would teach them so many things, tell so many wonderful stories. Until Somalia, until coming so close to death, she didn't realise just how much she wanted that.

"I don't hate you," Ziva whispered after a long time, her brown eyes shining with tears. "And I'm glad you're here with me, and not McGee."

Tony smiled. "It'd kill me to think you did hate me, you know."

He studied her closely, watching her brows furrow in worry and confusion.

"You really don't think we're gonna get out of this one, do you?" he asked.

A look of pain crossed the Israeli's perfect face as she ran to the corner and threw up violently. Tony didn't hesitate to run over there but all he could do was hold back her hair.

When she was finally done, she fell to her knees, tired, embarrassed and sobbing.

"Are you alright?" Tony asked, very concerned. He kneeled next to her and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

Ziva shook her head and grabbed her stomach.

"Are you gonna hurl again, 'cause—"

"No," Ziva answered groggily. "Not now, at least."

"Then why are you holding your stomach like that?"

She didn't answer but squeezed her eyes shut to hide the tears.

"How long's this been happening?" he asked, rubbing her forearm gently.

"Only a few days," she replied.

"You got a...stomach bug or somethin'?" he questioned wearily, a fear growing inside him that he knew what was really going on with her.

Ziva shook her head as tears tumbled down her face. "I didn't want it to be like this," she sobbed. "I didn't want to tell you like this. Please forgive me."

Tony was completely silent, but the look on his face begged for her to finish.

"When I was in Miami..." she started.

_Oh, God. Please don't let this be what I think it is._

He looked at her hard. He could tell how hard it was for her to say it. Carefully, he placed a hand on her cheek.

Her heart was racing.

She had to tell him now. He deserved to know.

"I'm pregnant."

**A/N: reviews rock my world!**


	3. Unfaithful

**A/N: OK, just wanted to say...you guys are the BEST! As for overnight responses, this is the most I have ever gotten! Keep 'em coming! Also please note I changed Richard's name to Ray because, as revealed by the lovely Ziva in 8x12 Recruited, that is his name! Yay!**

_Last time..._

"_When I was in Miami..." she started._

_Oh, God. Please don't let this be what I think it is._

_He looked at her hard. He could tell how hard it was for her to say it. Carefully, he placed a hand on her cheek._

_Her heart was racing. _

_She had to tell him now. He deserved to know._

"_I'm pregnant."_

...

_Meanwhile, at NCIS Headquarters_

_11:00pm New Year's Eve (2 hours after Tony and Ziva left for Christopher Mason's house)_

"I'm trying, Boss, I'm doing my best..." McGee defended fearfully.

"Well, you're not trying hard enough, McGee!" Gibbs barked, furious at both his agent and himself.

He stormed towards Abby's lab, hoping that perhaps she would have more luck.

Tony and Ziva were in trouble. He had a gut feeling. They hadn't called, their phones were either off had been taken, and they were never, _ever, _off unless someone turned them off. Someone that wasn't part of his team.

...

Tony was silent.

More than that, he was overwhelmed.

It was just so _un-Ziva. _

Tony looked at her stomach, and only now did he really notice the small bump. It was incredible to think that there was life growing inside of her. What would she be like as a mother?

So many questions flooded his head. He _had _to know the whole story.

"Miami Man..." he whispered.

"Ray," she confirmed, finally revealing his name to him. "He's the father."

Tony felt a little hurt. No, more than a little. She had told Tony that they were 'just friends' and now she was telling him that she was carrying his baby?

"When Paloma Reynosa was still...at large," she began bravely with a shaky breath, "and I was in Miami following a lead, I met Ray through the work. He asked me out, but I declined, because the last thing I needed was a relationship. But on my last night I ran into him at a bar and we talked, hit it off...next thing I know I'm sleeping in his arms in my hotel room."

"Did you use protection?" Tony asked, only realising after he said it that it was incredibly intrusive but Ziva didn't seem to mind.

"It does only work like, 99% of the time," she replied, not being able to help being a _little _embarrassed. But this was Tony. She shouldn't have been embarrassed.

"Before I left I told him that I really liked him but I just wanted to be friends," she continued. "My life is too hectic and I can barely juggle a social life with my job at NCIS, let alone a boyfriend. Everything was fine for a few weeks. We emailed each other every few days. It was nice. Then I started having the morning sickness. I went to see the doctor and that's when I found out."

Tony waited for her to say more, something other than the bare facts.

"Tony, when I found out I was pregnant, I felt so many things. I didn't know I was capable of feeling that many emotions at one time. I was worried that I would make a terrible mother, anxious about what you, and the team, would say when you found out, and terrified of what Ray would say when he found. But most of all, I felt happy. I have never felt so happy in my entire life. There is a little person growing inside of me. I created that one little life."

Her brown eyes sparkled.

"When did you find out?" Tony asked, eager to hear more.

"The days before my father arrived. I'm almost eleven weeks now."

"Ray?"

"Um..." Ziva blinked a few times to hold back tears and swallowed. "I called him when I got out of the doctor's office."

"What are you gonna do? Is he coming to D.C.? Are you going to Miami?" Tony asked frantically.

"No one's going anywhere," she said quietly.

"But he's—"

"Married."

And there, was the second bomb dropped that January morning.

...

"Gibbs, what if we don't find them? What if they die wherever they are?" Abby asked, tearing up a little.

Gibbs kissed her silky black hair. "We'll find 'em, Abs." Irony aside, he was usually his calmest when he was around Abby.

"Can I come up to the squad room with you?" she asked, puppy-dog eyes pleading.

Gibbs cocked his head towards the elevator and Abby eagerly followed him, bringing with her Bert the Hippo tucked under one arm and the Caf-POW that Gibbs had just given her in her hand.

...

It was late; so late it was actually early.

But Tony couldn't possibly sleep. Not now.

"Ray is married and doesn't want his wife to know he had an affair. He asks also that when the child is born that he or she does not make contact with him, for as long as possible."

How she was keeping it so together, Tony had no idea. Although, this was the least together he had ever seen her and still he was impressed.

"But that makes no sense...you spent Christmas with him."

"He works in law enforcement. He told his family he had to be on call on Christmas, and instead took me skiing. Of course, I didn't know about what else was going on."

"No, I know you wouldn't. You'd never do something like that."

"Something like what?" the Israeli questioned.

"Break apart two people who love each other for your own personal pleasure. Knowingly, at least."

She was silent, avoiding his eyes that always somehow forced truth from her lips.

"Are you scared?" he asked gently.

Her eyes tried to watch the floor, but his pulled them up to look at him.

"I'm terrified, Tony," she whispered, holding her belly protectively. "This is a child, _my child. _What kind of mother will I be? I don't know how to look after a little baby. The closest I even came to that was staying at home when I was a child...with Ari and Tali," she said the last words slowly, savouring them on her tongue, knowing they were rare ones. "But Tali was only a few years younger than me; I don't remember when she was that small.  
"And it kills me that I don't have a good relationship with my father. He formed so much of who I am; who I _was, _before I found NCIS. And now, my baby won't even know its father."

Just seeing her like this was heartbreaking. Tony wanted to do something, _anything, _to ease the pain.

"Ziva, there's a difference between who your father is, and who your dad is. You father is the person whose sperm was used to create you. Your dad is the one who teaches his son to play baseball, football, about fishing, about girls. And his daughter, his little princess, he'll practically load his shotgun every time a boy comes near her. Your dad is the one who teaches you how to grow up, and face the world with your best foot forward. And you know, your father and your dad can be two completely different people."

Ziva was taken aback at his poetic, thoughtful statements, but more or less confused. "What are you saying, Tony?"

He shifted just a _little _closer to her.

"I'm saying that, whatever you need, and whenever you need it, I'll be there. If you want me to, I'll show that kid how to play baseball, and football and teach him about fishing and girls, and I'll be the one who loads a gun every time a boy comes near that little girl." He held one of her slender hands in his. "We're gonna get out of this, Ziva. And when we do, I'm gonna be right by your side until you ask me to go."

Such a load had been lifted off Ziva's shoulders she thought she might faint. But instead, she jumped out of character and threw her arms around Tony's neck, crying into his shirt. He stroked her hair, treasuring the closeness between them as he always did, but this was different. She needed him, but what she didn't realise was that he needed her just as much.

It was them together.

It was always them together.

Ever since she walked into that bullpen five years ago, something clicked.

And the Universe had finally done something right for the two of them.

...

The two fell asleep at some ungodly hour, and they were both reluctant, but simply exhausted. Their amateur guts could feel a fight coming on, and they needed their rest.

Tony awoke many hours later. He didn't know how many. He didn't care.

Because Ziva was gone.

And all that was in her place was a laptop plugged into a power source hidden behind a tile.

In a state of panic, he opened it to find it was tuning in to a feed from a camera somewhere else.

Live feed.

Ziva, tied to a chair, cuts on her arms, all looking excruciatingly painful.

But what made Tony's heart stop was the dark figure behind her, holding an object in each of his hands.

A knife in the left...

And in the right, on a hanger, the uniform of a female petty officer.

**A/N: I know I'm evil. I just wanted to update before I go on holiday on Monday. I highly doubt I will get the next chapter up in time. It will require some serious thinking. However, I will hopefully be able to write some while I am away and post it when I get back. Until then, please review! I would love to know if anyone gasped aloud while reading this.**


	4. Retracing Steps

**A/N: Hi, guys, here's your next chapter. I got back from holiday yesterday and my writer's block is definitely gone. Anyway, I really hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it! (Well, it's not **_**fun, **_**I mean Ziva is in serious trouble).**

**Oh, and this chapter's kinda 24-style. Well, everything's sorta happening at once. And a bit of time-lapsing too.  
Also please note I changed Richard's name to Ray because, as revealed by the lovely Ziva in 8x12 Recruited, that is his name! Yay!**

_1:00PM, New Year's Day  
Location Unknown._

"Ziva."

The word, like a stormy wind, passed through Tony's lips in a harsh whisper.

His heart was pounding.

His head was spinning.

That psycho had Ziva.

_His_ Ziva.

Ziva, and the unborn child they were going to raise, together.

"It's about time you joined us, Agent DiNozzo," said a voice. It was deep; evil-sounding, even. It was the voice of Christopher Mason.

Tony felt guilt stab him in the chest. He should be hearing that voice cowering under him in interrogation. And instead, he was here.

"You've been asleep for quite some time, now. Can't blame you, though. You've had a pretty hectic night."

Mason placed the uniform he was holding on a table. From what Tony could make out, Mason and Ziva were in some kind of warehouse. If only he had any idea where he was.

_Wait a minute, _he thought. _If this laptop has Internet, I can contact McGee and he can back trace my IP address._

No luck.

"You can say something if you like, you know," Christopher sneered. "I can hear you. And I can see you. I think we're gonna get to know each other pretty well over these next few..." he ran his knife slowly across the tied-up Israeli's throat, gently enough that it did not cut the skin but still making Tony wince, "...hours."

"Hours?" he choked out. Ziva had just hours to live? He had only hours to somehow escape from here and save her?

"Who knows," Christopher shrugged. "It could be hours, or even days. But don't forget, I'm the one with the knife, Tony. You make a wrong move and it'll be seconds. You wouldn't want that, now would you?"

"What is it you want?" Tony asked desperately, hating that Mason was getting this kind of reaction out of him.

"I want to add Ziva to my collection."

_You sick person. Don't you dare touch her or so help me I..._

"Is there any way you would...reconsider that wish?" Tony asked, trying so hard to keep down the things he truly wanted to say to Mason.

Christopher held the knife to Ziva again, this time running it along her thigh, not piercing skin.

"Nothing you can give me."...

_1:00PM New Year's Day_

_NCIS Headquarters_

"Timmy," Abby whispered, shaking the sleeping agent on the shoulder. "Timmy, wake up."

McGee's eyes snapped open and he almost shot out of his chair.

"Oh no, I fell asleep, didn't I?" he asked worriedly. "I'm supposed to be finding Tony and Ziva."

"Yeah, you crashed at about two hours ago," Abby informed him. "Don't worry; I kept an eye on your BOLOs. Nothing came up."

"How did you stay awake all night?" McGee asked, half-yawning.

Abby said nothing, but looked at McGee's waste bin, which was now overflowing with empty Caf-POW containers.

"Where's Gibbs?"

"He's gone to interview Cadence Williams' husband. Said he thought he was holding back."

"He let me sleep?" Tim was genuinely surprised.

"He said you needed some energy, Timmy. Don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon."

...

_1:00PM New Year's Day_

_Williams Household, Virginia_

"Special Agent Gibbs," the pale-faced Gabe Williams, husband of Cadence, answered the door.

"Mr Williams, I'm sorry to bother you, I just need to ask a few questions," Gibbs said, more kindly than usual.

He nodded sadly. "Of course, please come in." He stepped aside to let Gibbs into the house. "The kids are with their grandparents, so we should be fine to talk. Coffee?"

Gibbs declined the offer for coffee and sat on the sofa.

"Mr Williams, I'm going to be blunt. I think you're not telling me something, and in order to catch Cadence's killer, I need to know everything."

"I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs, I don't think I left anything out. On the night before you found her she wasn't home by 8:30, and I figured she was still at work so the kids and I watched a movie and we all went to bed after that. By 10:30 I thought she probably went out with some girlfriends. She goes for a run every morning before work so when I woke up and she was gone a figured that was where she was. I got the call a half hour later."

"What time does she leave for her run?" Gibbs asked, cogs turning in his head.

"She gets up at 5:30am, leaves at six, runs for an hour, comes home, showers and changes for work and gets there by eight most mornings."

"So you're saying the last time you saw Cadence was..."

"When she got home from work, two days before the shooting," Gabe explained. "What are you thinking, Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs swallowed. "Nothing. Thanks for your time."

The cuts on all the victim's arms, Ducky said they must have been post mortem, because there was no blood surrounding them or on the ground where they were found. There were bruises on the wrists, possibly defensive.

Gibbs wasn't thinking anything, but his gut was practically screaming at him.

_Those women weren't killed where they were found. None of them were seen at all the day before they were found, the other husbands gave you the same answer._

They were kidnapped.

Tony and Ziva went to Mason's more than twelve hours ago and they were missing.

Things were very, very bad.

...

_12:30pm, November 10 2010_

_Miami, Florida_

"Hi, honey," Ray Doucette greeted his wife warmly as he entered his kitchen, covered in grease from working on his 1965 Corvette.

She sent a smile his way. "You done with that car yet? Your mother called and she wants to have us over for dinner."

"I'll just go take a shower."

"Oh, wait! I made you grilled cheese. Don't want it to get cold, do you?" the brunette grinned at her husband's undeniable love for her sandwiches.

But before Ray could answer, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his jeans pocket and looked at the caller ID.

"Sorry, honey, gotta take this," he told his wife.

Ray ducked into the hallway and sneakily shut the door. She crept over to the closed door pressing her ear against it.

"What?" she heard her husband say, his voice filled with fear and worry. "But we used protection."

She had to cover her mouth to stop herself from gasping.

Ray had cheated on her. Probably with some blonde bombshell. Not only that, but he had gotten her pregnant! They had been together three years and hadn't even tried for kids. He had assumed she would never find out. He had taken her for a fool.

And Jeanne Benoit-Doucette was most certainly not a fool.

**A/N: What did you think? I was going to put more Tiva in there but I decided to save it for the next chapter (which, for the record, I am going to start writing now. It might even be up tonight, if you're lucky). And a review would be awesome!**


	5. Epiphany

**A/N: I know I said this would be up earlier, I'm sorry! I had really bad writer's block. Like, bad. Anyway, I'm back for a new chapter. Again, please not the character of Richard is now Ray because that is his real name. **

_12:30pm, November 10, 2010_

_Doucette Home, Miami, Florida_

Ray felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Ziva. Why she would be calling at this time of day, he didn't know.

He quickly shut himself in the hallway, not wanting Jeanne to hear anything suspicious. He felt horrible for starting this whole thing in the first place. He loved Jeanne, dearly, but when he met Ziva he just lost it. The woman was beautiful and smart and he hadn't seen the harm in a few drinks. If only he knew what it would lead to. He and Ziva agreed that they would just stay friends, but he couldn't get her out of his head, so they kept seeing each other. Ziva didn't know about Jeanne, but he was afraid she was too smart to not find out eventually, even if it was through him.

"Hello," he answered.

"_Ray_," a breathless Ziva said on the other end of the line.

"What's up?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible just in case Jeanne could hear him.

Ziva's next words hit him hard. "_I am pregnant. It is yours."_

"What?" he choked out. "But we…we used protection…oh my God."

"_I just found out. I'm at the doctor's office," _Ziva explained.

"You sure it's mine?" Ray blurted out.

"_Um…you are the only person I have been sleeping with."_

Ray was completely unsure of what to say. Either way, he'd have to break someone's heart. He needed some time.

"Can I call you back, Ziva? I just think I need to lie down, you know, think about things."

"_Of course," _she replied understandingly, and hung up.

Ray stepped back into the kitchen where Jeanne had seemingly stayed where she had been before Ziva called.

"Was that the office, honey?" she asked as nicely as she possibly could.

"Yeah, yeah, they just wanted to tell me about a meeting tomorrow morning."

Jeanne was disgusted. When it couldn't get much worse, he was still lying to her.

"Well, I'm going to have that shower now," he said.

Jeanne nodded and threw away the grilled cheese sandwich she had made for him earlier. It was cold now, just like her love for him.

Back in DC, Ziva speculated telling the team, or maybe her father in Israel, but she couldn't bring herself to dial the numbers. She couldn't help but think how disappointed they would be, knowing she was pregnant after only knowing Ray for a few months. She just couldn't face them and this was too big to tell them over the phone, she knew. She would tell them, when she was ready.

…

_New Year's Day 2011_

_NCIS Headquarters_

Gibbs was not yet back from the Williams', but he had called McGee and informed him of his theory. He and Abby were now working together to try and produce a motive for the murders.

"You know, McGee," Abby said, staring at the photos of the three suspects on the plasma. "There might not be a motive. After all, serial killers aren't exactly right in the head."

"But why take a body part from each victim, and why a different body part each time."

Abby thought for a moment. "Remind me again what the body parts were, McGee."

Tim consulted his report.

"A right thumb, a blonde ponytail, a left foot, a tooth, a pair of eyes, which according to the driver's licence were green, and a right leg."

Abby took a sheet of paper from McGee's printer, a pencil and marker from McGee's desk and began to draw. With the pencil you she drew a rough outline of a female body, and with the marker she traced the body parts that the killer had stolen.

"Abby, I think you just solved the case."

_New Year's Day 2011_

_Location Unknown_

"So, Ziva, should I chop off your hands before…or after I kill you?" Christopher asked. "Of course, I'll leave you your right thumb; I already have one of those."

"Don't touch her!" Tony screamed.

"Tut, tut, Tony, you know what happens when you speak disrespectfully."

He sliced the knife through the air, cutting Ziva's arm in the process. She didn't give Mason the satisfaction of screaming.

"Why do you need my hands?" Ziva whispered.

"Your hands are soft; smooth, you show your emotion through your touches. That is why," he explained.

Ziva's heart rate was rising and she could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She was scared.

Christopher reached into his pocket for a cigarette, only to discover that the packet was empty. He swore.

"I'll be back in a half hour," he said, walking out the door.

They waited to say anything, just in case he came back. After almost a minute, they finally let words flow.

"Tony…" Ziva whispered.

"Are you alright?" Tony asked, speaking very quickly. "How bad did he hurt you?"

"Not very badly," she replied bravely. "So far it's just cuts to the arms."

"You get sick again?"

She shook her head.

"Good." Tony sighed, relieved.

"We need to get out of here," the Israeli stated needlessly.

"Together."

"Tony, that may not be an option—"

"I don't care. Either we leave together, or I don't leave at all."

Ziva loved that Tony's loyalty was so deep he was willing to die with her when he could go free. But of course he had almost always been that way.

"Look, we know that no one can find us. At least, not before one or both of us gets killed," Ziva stated.

"Right. Are your legs bound to the chair too?"

Ziva nodded.

"So that eliminates the possibility of fighting our way out."

"What about trying to get through to his good side?" Ziva suggested.

"Don't like it. It's too risky. One wrong move and he gets angry, or figures out what you're trying to do."

"I admit it's a long shot but I am not sure what else we can do."

"But even if it does work, there's hardly a chance in hell he's gonna let me go."

"Why would he kill you?" Ziva asked. "He's only killed women."

"He'd have to do something with me. We both had our IDs on us when we went to his place, so he must know who we are. He knows I'd report it and we'd arrest him."

"I guess you're right."

"I have an idea," Tony said suddenly. "You might not like it, but if you play your cards right I think you can get us outta here."

"Let's hear it," Ziva braced herself.

Her brown eyes widened as Tony explained his plan.

…

McGee was literally about to press the last digit of Gibbs' phone number when he walked out of the elevator.

"Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs!" Abby called.

"Boss, we found something," McGee stated.

"Something big," Abby interrupted.

"You found out where DiNozzo and David are?" Gibbs asked, a little too hopefully.

"No, but while we do think we have a motive for Christopher Mason," McGee confirmed.

"You _think, _McGee? We've been working on this case for three damn months and you _think _you might have a motive? I got two missing agents out there and you—"

"I know!"

All eyes turned to McGee, who had uncharacteristically just interrupted Gibbs mid-rant. But he didn't stop.

"I have been working really hard, Gibbs and I'm sick of you looking down on me. I mean I know you're my boss but the head-slaps, the stares; we're not your team of monkeys doing your dirty work. Now I'll admit you've taught me a lot over the years but I think I deserve a little more respect. After all, maybe what _I _have will stand up in court, rather than one of your 'gut feelings'.

Then McGee couldn't move. He was too afraid of what Gibbs was going to do him next. He closed his eyes and jumped when all he felt was a hand on his shoulder.

"You're right, Tim," Gibbs said solemnly. "I'll treat you with more respect from now on. How about telling me what you have?"

Tim managed to turn to the plasma and bring up an article from the Virginia Ledger. The same could not be said for Abby, who was absolutely speechless.

"Um…Christopher Mason's late wife Jessica, a Navy personnel officer, was killed six months ago. We knew that from basic backgrounding. The police found her killer, it was a colleague or Mason's, named Victor Hanson. They were having an affair and the wife ended it, claiming she was gonna tell Mason what had happened. Victor's company was about to sign a multi-million dollar deal with Mason's and he wasn't about to stop that from happening."

"What's this got to do with the victims, Tim?" Gibbs asked patiently.

"Jessica Mason was killed the same way all of our victims were: multiple abrasions and deep cut across their stomachs as the cause of death. Here's where it gets interesting. Abs?"

McGee turned to Abby as an offer to let her take over. Now remembering how to speak, she began doing so.

"After Jessica Mason was killed, Christopher took out an ad in the paper in her memory, printing the speech he gave at her funeral. It's long, but," Abby clicked a button on the remote and several lines from the speech were highlighted. "These are the parts that were most important:

"_I loved everything about Jessica. She was smart, loving, ambitious and so much fun to be around. I'm going to miss everything. I'm going to miss the cute little freckle on her right thumb, her beautiful sandy-blonde hair, her brilliant green eyes, the way she always had blisters on her left foot of these heels she loved to wear, her long legs, her crooked but impossibly white teeth. But most of all, I will miss her touch, because she could express so much emotion with just one touch, a skill not many possess. A touch from her was rare at first; she preferred to show her affection verbally, although since she spoke five languages, that didn't always work."_

"And it goes on," Abby finished.

Gibbs was blank.

"Don't you get it, Gibbs? Christopher Mason is recreating his wife with other people and who do we know that speaks multiple languages and prefers to show affection through words?"

Gibbs gave Abby a kiss on the cheek and headed for the elevator.

"McGee, you're with me! We're going to Christopher Mason's house!"

"Boss, wait!" McGee called. "I just got a hit on Christopher Mason's credit card at a convenience store."

Gibbs looked at the address.

"You think we can make it?" McGee asked, sceptical.

"Only if I drive."

…

_Christmas Day 2010_

_Somewhere in the French Alps_

Ray felt awful.

Jeanne had thrown him out more than a month ago and he and Ziva still hadn't talked about the baby.

Luckily, with the skiing, there wasn't a whole lot of time for talking. He hoped Ziva would just be tired afterwards and go to bed early for their flight in the morning.

She was tired, but not too tired to bring their child into the conversation.

"Ray, about the baby…"

"Ziva, I can't do this," he stopped her, freaking out already.

"Do what?"

"I'm married. She found out and I've been on my brother's couch for six weeks. I feel horrible. I love her so much."

"Then why did you sleep with me?" Ziva asked, fighting back anger and tears.

"I don't know, we kinda had a fight and you were just so…irresistible. But she's had a hard enough time with love. She was with this one guy a few years ago…Tony, I think his name was, and they were together for _months _until she found out he was an undercover cop."

Ziva froze. It couldn't be, could it? The world was not that small.

"Jeanne," she whispered.

"You don't know her, do you?" Ray asked, his worry growing.

"Let's just say we have a mutual friend. Goodbye, I do not want to talk to you."

And Ziva, in a very un-Ziva-like way, stormed out the door.

She blasted past Ray's hotel room, grabbing his cell and copying Jeanne's number. She couldn't possibly go on without apologising. Sure, it was not her fault, but she was the cause of a marriage breaking up.

But for now, it looked like she was going to have to do this one on her own.

…

_New Year's Day 2011_

_NCIS Headquarters_

McGee's knuckles were beginning to turn white as he gripped the seat and Gibbs sped madly down the highway. After passing the convenience store, they knew Mason would no longer be there, so they followed the only route in hope to find him.

"Keep a lookout, McGee!" Gibbs shouted.

"There it is, Boss! Turning left!"

Gibbs swerved sharply and barely made the turn without smashing into someone. Unfortunately, Mason had spotted them following him and was now speeding up. Street after street they chased him until eventually Gibbs couldn't make the turn and smashed into a tree. Luckily he braked before they hit it so injury was no more than a few bruises. But the car was out of action

"Shit!" Gibbs yelled. "We lost him!"

"Maybe not, Boss," McGee said, getting out of the car. "There's a big warehouse building around the corner. It's been out of action for ten years. Perfect place to hide a hostage."

"Come on, let's check it out," Gibbs agreed as he too got out of the car and started running down the road.

"Wait, sir, wait!" a lady coming out of a house called out. "Your car! Wait!"

But they didn't wait.

…

Once Mason was convinced he had lost whoever it was chasing him, he returned to the warehouse where he was keeping Tony and Ziva. He only used the bottom floor and one of the storage rooms (which he had renovated) to do his dirty work in.

"I'm back, Ziva, did you miss me?"

"Actually I did miss you," she said seductively.

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm, I like a man who has control, like you." She pushed out her chest, stretching. "Not like Tony. He just can't tell me what to do."

"Whaddya say we torture him a little, hey?" he picked up his knife and held it to her neck.

"I know a better way we can torture him," she suggested. "He always gets so jealous of my boyfriends, you know. It would kill him to see me with a man as _irresistible _as you are, Christopher."

Ziva almost felt sick at her words, but she wasn't going to stop now. Tony's plan was working.

"But first you have to untie me. After all, I do have that magic touch you like."

Ziva knew she should, but she didn't hate Mason. She knew his pain; losing someone you love. People deal in different ways.

Mason did indeed untie her, and she attacked his lips with her own. He pulled off his shirt and went to pull off hers, only to find she had already done so. She pushed him down on the floor and straddled his thighs.

"Before this goes any further," she whispered. "I have a proposal for you. We do this, and you let Tony and I go free."

"Can't," he said breathlessly. "Can't do that. You'll tell the cops."

"The cops won't hear a word of this, _if _you let us go."

"How do I know you're not lying?"

She simply kissed him again and stood up.

"What are you doing?" he asked, not moving.

"Just removing some unnecessary clothing…"

Instead, she grabbed his knife off the table and held it to his throat, the way he had done so many times to her.

"I wouldn't move," she warned. "I am a trained assassin."

…

_New Year's Day 2011_

_Outside the warehouse_

"You ready, McGee?" Gibbs whispered to the younger agent as they stood either side of the main doors to the warehouse.

McGee nodded and Gibbs proceeded to open the door with a kick.

"Federal Agents!" they both yelled.

Both were shocked at what they saw.

"Ziva?" McGee asked, not believing she was alive, and half-naked for some reason.

Gibbs was quick to go over and handcuff Mason.

"You're under arrest for murder, attempted murder, manslaughter and resisting arrest. You have the right to an attorney, you have the right to remain silent…" he said in a monotone voice as he dialled Vance and told him to send an agent.

Mason speculated trying to escape but he knew that with two federal agents (three if you counted Tony), and a trained Israeli assassin, he hadn't the faintest chance of making it. He hated himself for being busted so easily.

Ziva quickly pulled on her shirt to save herself from embarrassment.

"What was that all about?" a confused McGee asked.

"It was Tony's idea," she explained.

"Of course it was."

"And it worked too, Probie!" Tony defended himself from wherever he was. McGee noticed the laptop and the camera feed.

"Hang on, Tony, we'll get you out," McGee reassured him.

"And make it fast, will ya? I've been stuck in here for hours and Ziva, the contents of your stomach over there? Startin' to get a little funky."

"You threw up?" McGee asked out of pure concern for his friend.

Ziva nodded. "I'll, um, explain it later."

The Israeli approached where Gibbs was holding Christopher Mason.

"Where is Tony?" she asked, very sternly.

He didn't answer. She slapped him across the face, hard.

"Where is Tony?" she repeated.

"The door with the 1 on it," he said feebly. "It only opens from the outside."

McGee pushed the heavy door open with effort and Tony came rushing out, giving the younger agent a hug before walking over to Ziva, grinning.

"Told you we'd get out of this," he said with a smile. "_Both _of us."

He pulled her into a close hug. "You mean the three of us," she whispered.

…

**A/N: I actually think that was the longest thing I have ever written. Was it worth waiting a few days? Anyway, there is more to come, so the more reviews I get the faster I will try to update, but tomorrow is my only chance until Monday or Tuesday, maybe later. Again, please review! **


	6. By Your Side

**A/N: Hi guys, here's the newest chapter. Thanks a million for the reviews and alerts!**

Tony wasn't afraid to say that this was the worst first day of the year ever. He just hoped the rest of the year would be better.

After being trapped, Tony and Ziva wanted to be at NCIS with the team. Sure, it was work, but it was where they spent most of their time. It was where they were accepted as part of a dysfunctional but wonderful family, and most of all it was where they all felt safest.

After stopping for Chinese food on the way back and Tony and Ziva changing into some fresh clothes, the team and Abby sat in the bullpen, eating quietly.

"Hey, Gibbs," Tony spoke up. "Thanks for, you know, getting us outta there."

His mouth full of noodles, McGee pointed a chopstick at himself and made wide eyes at Tony.

"You too, Probie."

"Pleasure, DiNozzo," Gibbs replied. "But from what was going on when we walked in, you probably didn't need the help."

"It was Tony's idea!" Ziva snapped defensively, for the second time that evening.

"And you made it work, my little Israeli," Tony said, twitching an eyebrow at her.

"Look can we forget the whole 'seduce and destroy' thing and focus on the fact that Tony and Ziva are alive?" Abby said excitedly.

"Thank you, Abby," McGee and Ziva said in unison.

The Goth grinned. They were back alright.

…

_8pm New Year's Day_

_NCIS Headquarters_

Abby couldn't keep the grin off her face. For one, Tony and Ziva were back the team were reunited. They weren't Team Gibbs without each and every member. And second, the team were spending time together outside of work. NCIS took up most of their lives and after a hard case you only really want to relax, but every so often they all got together and had a nice time. They goofed around each other on business hours enough to know they would always have fun outside of them too.

Currently, the MCRT were swapping memories and case stories, and Ducky had come up to join them. The Scotsman was halfway through a sentence when Abby, out of the corner of her eye saw Tony look at Ziva as subtly as he could. Then he stood up, interrupted and announced he was going to the bathroom.

Whatever hints Tony was dropping, she got it.

"Me too," Ziva said, following him to the bathrooms.

Abby knew they needed to talk about something and promptly asked Ducky to continue with his story, not wanting anyone else to notice her suspicions.

Inside the women's bathroom, Tony waited for his partner. She arrived seconds after he did, and it took these florescent lights to see just how tired she looked, with dark purple rings under her eyes.

"What is it, Tony?" she asked that was somewhere between impatient and agitated.

"I just wanted to know if you're OK," he replied, leaning up against the sinks.

"We covered this, Tony, I am fine. Mason did not really hurt me," she defended.

Tony stepped towards her and body tense as he ever so gently lifted her sleeves to reveal the scars that laced her arms.

"Ziva…"

"Ducky already cleaned them," she said before he could finish. "I wouldn't let him put bandages on them. I didn't want everyone to worry."

"You've gotta stop letting your pride get the better of you," he said, hiding the scars with her clothing once more. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about. Are you OK on the inside?"

"I am…" she searched for an appropriate word, "anxious, to see how this all plays out."

"When are you gonna tell the team?"

"When I am ready, I will tell them. And then my father. I am his only child now, and he deserves to know he has a grandchild on the way. It was a mistake to get involved with Ray."

"You didn't know."

"Regardless, I am not exactly sure what I am going to do. I didn't have a mother for much of my life. My childhood was about work and training and learning. There was little time for play, for friends or, as I grew older, boyfriends. As far as maternal instincts go, I am not sure I have any at all and a child needs a proper mother."

"Let me ask you something," Tony said. "What kind of mother do you want to be?"

Ziva considered her answer. "I guess I would want to be loving, fair, I would teach them to be accepting and kind."

"You can do that," Tony smiled.

"I'm not so sure I can by myself."

"You won't be by yourself. I told you I'll be there."

"But what would that mean?" Ziva asked loudly. "I want my son or daughter to have a family. Being raised by two people who work together at a federal agency is not the right thing for a child. This baby is not your responsibility."

"I'll make it my responsibility."

"Tony, you and I are a great team in the office and the field, even undercover. We've put more people behind bars than I can count, with the rest of the team of course. But a child needs love and care and time. You, with work and girlfriends—"

"You really think I'd date while we were raising a child, Ziva?" Tony asked, shocked that she would think so low of him.

"It is a long time, Tony. Besides, if you were there I would only feel I was tying you down. Don't you want to find the woman you'll marry someday, and have children of your own?"

"Maybe, but don't you?"

"Who is going to want to be with me, when I have a baby due in June?"

Tony said nothing. She looked into his emerald eyes and he looked right back into her brown ones.

The door squeaked, and they saw McGee poke his head through, looking for Ziva, and having already looked in the men's room.

"Tony, what are you doing in here?" he asked suspiciously.

"I just wanted to have a word with Ziva, you know, about what happened," he lied (sort of). "We were just coming back."

McGee nodded and closed the door halfway when Ziva spoke.

"McGee? Could you not mention this to the others?" she asked.

"Sure, but come on, everyone's getting worried."

They followed McGee back into the bullpen to hear the end of Ducky's story.

…

Everyone headed home eventually, all in need of a good shower and a peaceful night's sleep. But there was something Ziva had to do before she could sleep easily.

For days, it had been taunting her.

Jeanne's number.

Ziva decided it was time to call her. After all the pain Ziva had (unintentionally) put her through, she owed it to the woman.

She pressed the 'call' button.

It rang twice.

"_Hello_?"

"Jeanne," Ziva said.

"_Who is this_?" the woman asked.

"My name is Ziva David," Ziva informed her.

"_Do I know you_?"

"No, but I am Ray's—"

"_You're the other woman?" _ Jeanne yelled. _"Are you calling to rub it in my face that you have my husband? Because I got news for you: I don't want him back!"_

"Well, you obviously haven't spoken to him because I ended it the minute he told me he was married," Ziva quickly defended.

"_You didn't know?"_

"Of course not. Ray loves you. He only hooked up with me because I was going back to Washington the day after and he believed you two were fighting."

Jeanne paused for a moment, absorbing the information she was being given. "_How did you get my number_?"

"From his phone. I called to apologise."

"_It's OK, it wasn't your fault. And I do appreciate you calling. Most women would never have the guts to do that."_

"Thank you," Ziva whispered.

"_Um, if you don't mind me asking, are you going to raise this baby of yours by yourself?"_

Ziva thought for a moment. After everything Tony had said, Ziva knew he was prepared to be a father figure to this child. But what did that mean for them? Would they live together, would the child call him 'dad'? Or would he change his mind? After all, raising a child is a life-long commitment.

"Uh…at this point I am not sure whether I will be alone," Ziva explained. "But I know there are people around me who can help."

"_Family?"_

"No, uh, that's just my father and my aunt and they're in Israel."

"_Oh_."

Ziva knew this woman probably still hated Tony, and now that they had found peace with each other, she didn't want to ruin it by saying that, basically, she was having a baby by her husband and raising it with her ex-boyfriend. Tony is a good man, and Jeanne needed to know that.

"Does the name 'Tony DiNozzo' mean anything to you?" she asked slowly.

"_You know him?" _Jeanne whispered.

"Yes, and I know you probably don't want to talk about him, but I just wanted you to know that he felt terrible about what he did to you."

"_But none of it was real."_

"The only thing fake was the identity. The love was real. And I know that is not what he told you but I convinced him to say that."

"_You wanted him for yourself," _Jeanne accused.

"No! I swear, I only convinced him to say that because I knew that if you stayed together, you wouldn't fully trust him and you'd break up eventually and I couldn't stand to watch his heart break again."

"_Well, now you have him."_

"Jeanne, you were the first and most serious relationship Tony had. Only two people knew he was undercover: Tony and our boss at the time. All everyone else knew was that he had a girlfriend and he really, really cared about her. And it bugged me that we didn't know anything about you after that amount of time; not even your _name."_

"_Why is it your business?"_

"It isn't, but the way Tony talks about his love life, he makes it our business. He was always worried about hurting you, and the whole time I kept wondering why."

"_I would have too," _Jeanne said. "_Tony DiNardo was the man I loved. I was convinced we were gonna go the distance. He was so loving and funny and romantic. He was the perfect guy." _

Ziva heard the girl sniff through the phone.

"_But listen to me; pouring my heart out to a girl I've never even met in person. Although, considering our history I'm not sure that matters."_

"Tony DiNozzo is all of those things, he's just a lot better at hiding some of them when he's around me," Ziva said, smiling. "I am sure it would mean the world to him if you forgave him."

"_Of course. He taught me an important lesson or two in love, and I can't hate him for following orders. Sure, I wish it never happened sometimes but there are things all of us have done that we regret."_

"Thank you, Jeanne. And I am truly sorry about Ray."

"_Don't apologise, it's a sign of weakness. That's what Tony always used to say."_

Jeanne heard the dial tone and ended the call. She did admire Ziva's bravery for apologising. And as another serious relationship washed down the toilet because of NCIS, she was glad this one wasn't as bad as the last. Ray was her first after Tony; her rebound guy. She didn't think it would last long, but he grew on her and she started to fall for him. Before she knew it, they were married and living in Miami.

Where she would go from here was another thing entirely.

…

**A/N: Reviews would be amazing! Next chapter will be up soon. **


	7. Lies

**A/N: Sorry about the wait! Now that school's started back I have more homework and less time. Here's a new chapter, and thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favourites!**

_January 3__rd__ 2011_

_Georgetown_

How Abby had convinced her to do this, she didn't know.

Ziva stood in her apartment, in front of her full-length mirror, bootleg jeans and a pretty top hugging her figure in a not-too-revealing way.

She admired the Goth for waiting at least 24 hours before deciding to plan a celebration of her and Tony's return, but was still reluctant to go out to a bar on a Saturday night.

She still hadn't told the team she was pregnant.

Tony was still the only one who knew, and even Tony wasn't completely enlightened on the subject. He didn't know that Jeanne was Ray's wife, now ex-wife.

That wasn't the only thing she hadn't told him either.

…

Tony, McGee, Abby and Ziva all met at the bar, smartly attired and at the agreed time. Gibbs, they knew, wasn't much of a weekend man, and they were sure there were other things he would probably rather do. Not only that, but it was far easier to have a proper conversation when he wasn't around, they would all admit that.

"Just one question, Abby," McGee asked as they all took a seat at the bar, Tony on the right, Ziva next to him, McGee to her left and Abby on the outside. "Why did we all have to dress nice? We have to dress like this for work; it would be nice to wear a T-shirt on my time off."

"Timmy, we are celebrating Tony and Ziva!" she told him sternly. "This is not about you. We didn't think they were alive, or that the only time we would ever see them again was in Autopsy, _maybe._"

"I know, I know," Tim backed off. "Let's have a drink."

"Uh-uh, Probie, I'm buying," Tony said, pulling out his wallet.

Tony ordered two regular beers and a light for McGee, knowing Ziva wouldn't be drinking while she was pregnant. She rarely drank anyway.

"Aren't you going to get one for Ziva?" McGee asked when three drinks appeared on the counter.

"I'm not drinking tonight, McGee," she said quickly. "Just…don't want to be hung over in the morning."

McGee eyed them suspiciously, wondering how Tony could have known that and why Ziva wasn't drinking, but he seemed to drop it when he took a sip of his beer.

"So, Tony," McGee said. "I heard neither of you said anything in your counselling sessions."

"Well, I didn't have that much to say about it," Tony replied casually. "All they guy did was lock me in a room for about eighteen hours. Ziva had it worse, she was hurt."

"So you knew you'd get out of it?" Abby asked.

"We were sceptical at first," Ziva explained. "Things looked bleak, to be honest."

"Then came the brilliant plan," Tony finished jokingly, with a grin. Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Will you please stop bringing that up, Tony?" the Israeli said through gritted teeth.

"I won't," he laughed. "You were so into it, you—"

She turned to him.

Her eyes. They pleaded for him to stop, so he did. And quite abruptly.

The others were a little stunned by the seemingly telepathic conversations that were going on between these two. Things had been weird ever since they were rescued. First the bathroom, now this. Abby was beginning to wonder just what went down while they were gone.

"So…can we hear the whole story?" she asked in a small voice, not wanting to make them upset.

Tony looked to his partner, who gave him a warning look, before beginning the story herself. The secrets she told Tony were for her and her only to tell.

"We were gassed when we got to Mason's house," she explained. "When we woke up, we were in this tile room. There were no windows, only a door that was, of course, locked."

"Then we..." Tony took over. "We kinda had a fight."

"About?" Abby asked, concerned.

"Stupid stuff," Tony replied. "We were just a little freaked out."

"So what was with the vomiting?" McGee questioned, remembering Tony's complaint about the smell.

"I just had a stomach bug," Ziva lied. "Nothing too serious."

As much as she was a magnificent liar, she couldn't help resting a gentle hand on where her baby was growing. It was almost an apologetic gesture, which made Tony tense in the fear they would notice and question her but at the same time he smiled at her unawareness of her obviously very strong maternal instincts. She wanted no more than for this child of hers to be happy and healthy and safe.

"Anyway, we are fine," Ziva said. "Can we talk about something else?"

Tony took a sip of his beer. "Anything interesting happen around the office while we were gone?"

"McGee stood up to Gibbs," Abby said, only just remembering it now.

Ziva raised her brows, shocked and almost impressed. "You _what?_"

"I told him to cut the crap," McGee explained slowly. "No more head slaps, no more staring. Respect."

"And that worked?" Tony asked, stunned that McGee would even have the guts to do that, let alone get a result.

"Yeah, well, so far so good. I don't know how he'll cope with you two back around the office," the younger agent laughed and Tony pouted and sipped his beer again.

The discussion went on for a good hour or so, and Ziva was unusually quiet. She wasn't a particularly loud person to begin with, but this was quiet even for her.

Abby finished her third beer and pulled her jacket onto her arms. "Will you take me home, Timmy?" she asked.

"Sorry, Abs, I gotta wait for Tony. I brought him here in my car," McGee said, a little sadly.

"It's OK, Probie, I'll get a cab," Tony shrugged.

McGee nodded and followed Abby out of the bar into the cold, snowy night, leaving the two partners in the bar.

"Well, I guess I better be heading home, too," Tony said, pulling out his cell phone.

"Do not be ridiculous, Tony, I will drive you," Ziva replied. "Traffic on a night like tonight when the roads are icy will be horrible. Better you have someone to talk to other than making small talk with the cab driver."

"Sounds good."

As they walked out of the cosy bar and into the street, the cold night air sent a chill up Ziva's spine, and she shivered. She only had a thin cardigan over her blouse, not exactly warm on a night like this.

Tony, who was warm inside his coat, offered her one of the hands that had previously been stuffed in his pocked. His larger hand wrapped around her slender fingers instantly warmed them.

"Ziva, you're freezing," he commented.

"I know," she said. "I wish I hadn't parked so far from the bar."

"Yeah, you're getting snowflakes in your hair." Tony gently plucked a small piece of white snow from her ponytail.

For a moment they were quiet. Everything was quiet.

There were no cars driving, only parked ones, there were no other people on the street. It was just them, in the snow.

Ziva parted her lips to say something, but her words were lost in the air, floating away into a little white cloud before disappearing completely. She decided the silence was better. It was peaceful. It was less scary.

They stopped in front of the parked Mini Cooper. Tony slid into the passenger's side and Ziva took the wheel.

"You're not going to kill me with your driving, are you?" Tony asked, breaking the silence.

"You think I would not go a little slower when the roads are so icy, and at _night_?" she asked in reply.

He silently agreed and leant back in his seat, turning up the heat in the car.

Then something caught his eye. It was a CD.

"I didn't know you liked the Backstreet Boys, Ziva," he said, supressing a laugh.

"I enjoy their music," she replied. "So what?"

He scoffed and put the disc into the car's player. She heard high piano notes and automatically knew what song it was—her favourite one on the album. Sometimes, when she felt sad, this was the perfect song to listen to. But around Tony? Maybe not such a brilliant idea. He probably didn't want to listen to it anyway. It was, after all, a love song.

She went to press "eject", but he stopped her. "Now I'm curious," he said evilly. "Why don't you want me to hear it?"

"You're cocky. Maybe I just didn't want to listen to it," she replied.

The song stopped him from saying anymore. Ziva gave up, knowing he would be his irritating self until he got whatever he wanted, however stupid it may seem.

"_Remember when we never needed each other," _the voice sang through the Mini Cooper's speakers.

"_The best of friends, like sister and brother."_

Tony's eyes flickered to Ziva's face, going in and out of darkness as they passed under street lamps, the concentration obvious as she tried to focus on the road.

"_We understood we'd never be alone."_

The Israeli began to hum gently to the song she loved, not daring to sing the lyrics.

"_Those days are gone, now I want you so much._

"_The night is long, and I need your touch."_

A smile lit up his eyes and he could see that this song hit close to home for Ziva. He, too, decided to hum along, as he knew the song.

"_Don't know what to say._

_Never meant to feel this way."_

Ziva threw a glance his way. "Guess I'm not the only fan, then?"

"_Don't wanna be…"_

"This happens to be the only song I know," he said, matter-of-factly.

She just raised her eyebrows.

"_Alone tonight…"_

"OK, so maybe I know a _few._"

She didn't move.

"_What can I do, to make you mine?"_

"OK, fine! I have all their CDs. Happy?"

"_Falling so hard; so fast this time."_

The ex-assassin still said nothing, just went along humming, but Tony sang along, quietly.

"_What can I say? What did you do?"_

In good spirit, Ziva joined in for the last line of the chorus:

"_How did I fall in love with you?"_

She laughed softly and turned to meet and match his smile, and even as the moment faded and Ziva hit the brakes when they approached a red light, they couldn't stop looking at each other.

It had happened before, and it was happening now. She almost wished she didn't have to, but Ziva pulled away to watch the road. Tony turned the volume down, so as not to get further distracted from what was really on his mind.

"Hey, uh…" he hesitated.

The Israeli bit her lip. "Yes?"

"When are you gonna tell the team?"

She sighed. "Soon," she promised. "I _want _to, but every time I try to form the words, I just can't help but think they will be disappointed in me."

"They won't be disappointed," Tony tried to reassure her.

"I got pregnant by a married man two days after I met him, Tony. Not exactly something to be proud of."

It was a terrible thing. At least it seemed like she had accepted it.

"It's not your fault," he said, even though it would have been a reflex.

"You keep saying that, Tony, but that does not change the fact that I am stuck with the consequences!" she replied loudly. "We cannot control what happens in our lives, I admit. And I know I am not the only person who has done something they are not proud of, but this is more than just an embarrassing memory, Tony. This is a human life!"

"I thought you were happy," he argued feebly.

"You think I needed this? Sure, I wanted to have a family someday but now, and not with someone who I don't love and doesn't love me."

"You could give it up if you wanted to, you know. We'd all understand."

She shook her head. "No. I couldn't. It may not be the most convenient child but it is mine, and I can't help but love it."

"I can tell," he whispered, smiling. "It's OK to love something, Ziva. A child is something you're gonna get attached to."

"My father always said getting too attached is a mistake. I'll tell you what was a mistake: listening to him."

"There you go."

"You know, Tony, I've been thinking. About your offer?"

He looked at her expectantly.

"A child needs a good father. You are, more or less, the kind of man I would want my child to look up to: brave, selfless, kind.

"More or less?" he questioned.

"Are you going to let me finish?"

He backed off.

"As I was saying, I am sure you would make a wonderful father. But like I said, a child needs a _father. _Not just a male role model that he sees some of the time. And asking you to do any more than that would not be right."

"Ziva, how many times do we have to go over this? Whatever you need, I got it. I understand this is a kid and you can't just have a trial period but, well…"

"Well what?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm afraid I'll never get kids of my own and I'd hate to see you struggle so much by yourself, even during the pregnancy, being your first time and all."

_Kids of my own…_

_By yourself…_

_First time…_

Ziva closed her eyes to stop suddenly present tears from falling. "Ori," she whispered. It was Hebrew, Tony knew. She pulled over, knowing it wasn't a good idea to be driving right now.

"Ziva, what's wrong?" he asked, alarmed by her tears. "What's 'Ori'?"

"Ori is a Hebrew name meaning, 'my light'," she explained.

"That's nice," he said, almost smiling. "But why are you—"

"It was my first choice of a name."

Tony still didn't understand.

"Last year, when I…when we…"

"Oh my God…" Tony whispered.

"I had a miscarriage," she sobbed. "It was yours."

…

**A/N: Just when you thought things were getting boring! Reviews would be lovely, I'm so happy with the response on this story, it's great. Favourite line/part? Next chapter will hopefully be up some time in the next week. This is the longest chapter yet!**


	8. Deepest and Darkest

**A/N: Haha, I enjoyed reading your reactions to the "Chapter 7 Cliff Hanger" as it is unofficially known.**

**Thank you so much everyone for all the reviews this is the biggest response I have ever gotten on a story and it means a lot that so many people are enjoying it. I don't really know how many chapters this will be but if I keep thinking of interesting ways to twist the classic Tony/Ziva pregnancy story then maybe this will be a long one. Who knows?**

_Last time…_

"_Last year, when I…when we…"_

"_Oh my God…" Tony whispered._

"_I had a miscarriage," she sobbed. "It was yours."_

…

Tony almost felt his heart stop in his chest.

Ziva had been pregnant…with _his _child?

"Paris?" The word managed to escape his lips, but only in whisper form.

She nodded. "Tony," she began, only to be cut off.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "No, I can't even look at you right now."

And with those ten words, he stepped out of the car and into the dark, icy night, slamming the car door behind him.

This was the reason she hadn't told him in the first place. She had known he would take it hard. As much as he denied it, Tony DiNozzo was a very sensitive man. After losing her baby, she did only what she thought would be best, the only thing she knew how to do: pretend it never happened. As far as what happened in Paris was concerned, that had been the plan from the beginning. Why complicate things, even though she hated herself for hiding it from him, when she could simply try to go on with her life.

But this was not then, it was now, and it is impossible to change the past, she knew. All she could do was change the future.

She had to go after him.

…

Due to the fact that space in the bar's car park had been in low supply and the icy roads had only complicated things further, it had taken Abby and McGee a good ten minutes to escape from the unmoving grid of cars. Enough time to spot a happy-looking Tony and Ziva walk out of the bar and slide into her Mini Cooper. At least _she _had been smart enough to park on the curb.

And since the two cars followed the same route for roughly fifteen minutes before taking various turn-offs, the Goth and the geek were watching a scene unfold before them.

When they saw Ziva's car pull over, they did so too. They knew something was Hinky. There had to be.

They were even more worried when Tony got out of the car and slammed the door so hard the car shook. Abby put a hand over her mouth in worry. What was going on?

…

"Tony, please—" Ziva tried to explain, before being cut off again.

"No, I don't wanna hear it, Ziva!" he yelled, walking onto the sidewalk and facing away from her. "You're telling me that you were pregnant with my child and you weren't gonna tell me? What _were _you gonna do, huh? Tell me that."

"I was going to tell you," she replied in a desperately apologetic voice. "But I lost Ori, and…it seemed best to leave things alone. I couldn't talk about it. No one knew."

"You just decided to forget about your—about _our _baby?"

"But it would not have been _our _baby, Tony! It would have been my baby. You were not ready for anything that serious and I am still not convinced that you are now. We could not have done it!"

"We could have!" he replied loudly. "We will!"

"We can't!" She sighed. "This isn't one of your movies, Tony. You and I, we are never going to have a fairy tale ending. At work, we are partners, and we are closer than close, _at work. _But other than that, we almost barely know each other. There is no 'Tony and Ziva', there can't be in this world. One night of drunken sex can't change that!"

"Were you happy?" he asked, almost immediately.

"What?"

And finally, he looked at her. His eyes were burning with the kind of anger and heartbreak that she had only ever seen a few times.

"When you found out you were pregnant, and I was the father, were you happy?" he emphasised the last three words so every single one felt like a stab in the chest to Ziva.

She inhaled, deep, shaky, terrified breaths, for a few endless seconds. Then finally whispered, "Yes."

And the fire in his eyes disappeared.

"I didn't tell you for the same reason I didn't tell you earlier about _this _pregnancy," she explained softly. "I was too afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. Think of what Gibbs would say. I was too scared of what he would say when it was _you, _who he knows and trust and, dare I say it, respects. Now it's ten times worse."

"It's OK," he said, holding her shoulders gently. "We'll get through this _together. _I told you that when we were captured and it's a promise I plan on keeping."

"Tony," she held his hand as she spoke. "You're a wonderful person, but I think I need to do this on my own."

He gulped. "I respect that, Ziva. And I'll be right here in case you change your mind."

"Thank you," she whimpered, hugging him comfortably. "I just can't handle any more stress, Tony. Thank you for understanding. I know how much it meant to you to be this baby's father. I feel terrible taking that away from you."

It hurt Tony that he wouldn't be able to help Ziva raise her child, at least not like he thought he would, but he had to be there for Ziva. She needed it.

"You know what comes next, don't you?"

In his arms, the Israeli looked up at him. She had a bad feeling.

"You've got to tell the team."

…

**A/N: I know it's short but it's better than nothing, right? Besides, I wanted a whole chapter for the revelations. I have got plans for it, so I should have it up soon, Friday at the earliest. Review? Favourite line/part? Would love to hear from you!**


	9. Bad Decisions

**A/N: Another update, this early? Man, you guys are lucky. And, for anyone who reads "Symbol For Infinity", I'm not doing a chapter on "A Man Walks Into A Bar", just because it wasn't really right for the fic. But back to this, it's just the first part of Ziva's revelations to the team. And I left you with a nice juicy cliff hanger too :D**

So here, Ziva stood, outside Gibbs' basement, her heart racing and little beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She could hear him sanding his boat through the door.

The man who had been like a father to her.

The man she killed her brother to save.

The man whose approval she so desperately craved.

But she couldn't will her fingers to turn the knob.

"_You have to tell the team…" _Tony's words from yesterday rang in her head. She could have told him at work that day but she decided she needed to be alone with Gibbs. This was too important.

As if on cue, Gibbs opened the door himself to find the torn-up Israeli standing before him.

"Ziver," he said, sounding not the least bit surprised.

"Gibbs," she said in reply, shocked at how unready she was. "Can I have a word?"

The ex-Marine forgot about his need for a fresh bottle of bourbon and stepped aside for her to enter.

"So, what did you wanna talk about?" he asked, sanding his newest boat absent-mindedly. "Kidnapping hard on you?"

"No," she replied, and looked around. She should have felt safe where she was but all she felt was unprotected, and it was hard for her. This was the one place she knew was safe. Not necessarily safe from guns and knives, the things that kill you from the outside, but it kept you safe from all the things that kill you on the inside. It held the darkest of the team's secrets, the betrayal, the heartbreak, the loss, the memories. It was almost sacred.

Ziva breathed and willed her heart to slow. If this went wrong, if she screwed up now, who knows what she could lose. She left hot tears escaping her chocolate eyes and for once let them flow. In the safety of the basement, nothing was wrong. It was OK to cry.

"Gibbs," she said in a whisper, hiding the whimper in her voice. She looked at the floor, and placed a protective hand on her growing offspring. She kept her eyes fixated on the ground, which was a little hard to see with all the sawdust, unable to meet his own piercing blue ones, all-knowing in a simple stare. She prepared herself. It was now or never.

But it wasn't her who spoke first.

"You're pregnant."

Ziva's eyes immediately lifted. He knew? He knew all along and hadn't said _anything_?

"How…how did you…why…" she was practically speechless.

Gibbs walked over to her, and lifted the hand that had been on her stomach, and squeezed it tight.

"Since you got back, whenever you have a spare hand, you hold your stomach, like this," he said, lifting her arm back into its previous place.

"Did you think it was possible I had a stomach ache?" she asked, her pulse slowing steadily.

He shook his head in denial. "It's called maternal instincts, Ziva."

Ziva felt all the more like crying. Gibbs had noticed her maternal instincts and she hadn't even thought she had any.

"Why didn't you say anything, Gibbs?" she asked, her pulse slowing steadily.

"I didn't wanna pressure you," he replied. "You needed to come to me. And ya did."

She smiled a teary smile. "Thank you."

He simply gestured to a chair. "Sit. Tell me about it."

She sighed and sat opposite her boss, feeling much more comfortable about the situation now. "What would you like to know?"

"How many weeks are ya?" he asked.

"Twelve, now," she replied seriously.

"Who's the father?"

After coming to terms with her pregnancy, she felt bringing Ray into this would ruin everything. She bit her lip, and he took that as an answer.

"If ya say DiNozzo I'll…" he said, knowing all too well she was too smart for that. Well, he believed it. Even Gibbs didn't know about Paris. It was her and Tony's secret, just like Ori.

Ziva felt her heart speeding up again and Gibbs trailed off as he caught her worried expression. She didn't want to tell him, she was so ashamed, so disappointed in herself, guilty for being so careless, and she hated Ray for lying to her.

She shouldn't have done what she did next.

**A/N: Oooh, what did she do? First one to get it right gets a special mention in the next author's note! I know this is short but…well, it's just sort of how it turns out. I will update as soon as I can! The more reviews I get, the sooner that will be.**


	10. Broken

**A/N: good news! Other than ****Symbol For Infinity****, which I can only update once a week anyway, this is the only multichap fic I have going, so I can update more often, although how often that is will vary. I'm pretty sure that was my New Year's resolution, so I'm feeling rather proud of myself right about now. **

**Winners of the guessing game are at the bottom although if you are one of them you probably would have figured that out. :D**

…

"_You did WHAT?"_

Ziva, who was probably well deserving of yelling right about now, had to pull the phone away from her ear slightly to avoid damage.

Tony, meanwhile, who was on the other end of the line, was absolutely fuming.

Not only that, but he wasn't alone.

He had McGee and Abby over for drinks to watch a couple of movies and they were halfway through _From Russia With Love_, when Tony's phone vibrated in his pocket. He saw Ziva's name, and smiled. McGee and Abby were getting a little too snuggly on the couch after a few beers, and it would be nice to talk to someone not almost asleep from the alcohol. He had only had a couple of light ones, as he was trying to lose a little weight. The other night at the bar, that had been a celebration and he had figured _what the hell?_

He flipped his phone open and snuck out of the room into the kitchen. His noise did not rouse his two half-asleep co-workers, until now.

When he felt two extra sets of eyes on him, he knew he would not be able to have a private conversation without one or both of them listening in, especially after yelling out like that. But he couldn't hang up now, he really needed to hear the whole story.

"Come over," he whispered spontaneously.

"Who's coming over?" a suddenly jumpy, messy-pigtailed Abby asked loudly over the back of the couch.

"_Is that Abby?" _Ziva questioned. _"It's just that I haven't told her yet and—"_

"Yeah, it's Abby," he replied, smiling at the Goth. "McGee's here too, we're watching James Bond."

"_Oh, well, I don't want to intrude, and ruin your night by spilling the broccoli."_

Tony chuckled. "It's 'spill the beans', and maybe," he lowered his voice to a whisper again and turned his back to his friends. "Maybe it's time you did."

"_Can you tell them for me? The truth. I'm afraid if I do it, I will end up ruining everything."_

Tony hesitated. "Are you sure? It's the kinda thing you don't get to say very often, throwing it away might be—"

"_A mistake?" _She laughed. _"Believe me, I've made enough of those, I can afford to make one more."_

"On one condition: we talk the _minute _we're alone. If you're gonna drop another bomb on me then I'd wait until my heart rate's gone down." He was frustrated at her, but telling McGee and Abby was a priority; the frustration could wait.

He snapped his phone shut and joined his friends on the sofa.

"Who was that, Tony?" Abby asked, slurring her words a little.

"Ziva," he replied timidly, before clicking play on the movie. Abby scoffed.

"Ziva. What's with you and her lately, huh? You have this weird spiritual connection." Abby made odd gestures to demonstrate her point.

Tony said nothing, not enjoying having this new responsibility on his shoulders.

"Hey, you OK?" McGee asked. He was probably a little more functional, as he tended to handle his alcohol a little better than Abby.

Cogs creaked as they turned inside the Senior Field Agent's head. He had an obligation to fulfil, he should fulfil it, but something deep inside him was telling him no.

…

Ziva arrived at Tony's twenty minutes after she hung up the phone. She knew she had done the wrong thing. She had thought she would feel better now that Gibbs knew about her pregnancy, but now she just felt worse.

Standing outside his door, she raised her hand to knock, but hesitated. She had told him she wanted to do this alone, and had completely gone back on that. Exhausted, with the stress and the worry and the baby, she took a moment to rest, and leaned her head against his door with a thud, closing her eyes.

_Click_.

The door opened and she fell straight into Tony's strong arms, feeling his warmth enclose her as she relaxed into him for just a moment.

Then, a little embarrassed, she looked up at him, a little smile playing at her lips as he helped her stand up.

"Maybe a hello would be more appropriate?" he said, grinning his thousand-watt grin.

"Hello," she replied. "Where are Abby and McGee?"

He looked at the leather watch he was wearing. "Home, I'd imagine."

"Did you tell them?" she asked hopefully.

"No," was all he said.

"Tony!"

"Ziva, it's too important for me to tell them," he explained, walking over to his couch and picking up the empty beer bottles. "Like you said, it's your baby. I'm not even the father. Of course,"—he dumped them into the trash can and turned to her—"that's not what Gibbs thinks!"

"But—"

"I thought we agreed. No more lies!" he said.

"Well, I didn't lie, to you."

"What the _hell _were you thinking, telling Gibbs I'm the father?" he shouted.

"I wasn't thinking anything!" she yelled right back.

Tony exhaled. They weren't going to get anywhere by yelling. He was tired of this. "Then why'd you tell him? Please, just tell me."

She took four large paces across the living room and was now just as close as she had been before. He was just staring at his sofa. "Because, I was ashamed of myself, of what happened with Ray and Gibbs' respect just means too much to sacrifice it over something like this."

"What happened to going it alone, huh? I offered me full support and you push me away because you say you need to do this on your own."

"I thought that, when I made that decision, it would be the end of this. And although it wasn't necessarily what I thought I wanted, I knew that was what needed to happen."

"What made you go back on that decision?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

She glanced at the floor, and then let her eyes wander over briefly, before they locked on each other. Her eyes were glittering, even in such low lighting.

"My heart," she whispered, the honesty clear in her voice.

He swallowed apprehensively. "This is crazy. You're supposed to meet somebody, fall in love, get married and have kids."

She gave a tiny nod in agreement.

"Guess they got the order wrong."

Then, like a dream, his lips touched hers softly. It was tender and gentle and sweet; the perfect kiss. Ziva couldn't stop the tears.

They clung to one another, not wanting to let go and have to face the scary world. They wanted to just stay there, in the warmth and familiarity that surrounded them. Here they were alone, and free of all there problems.

But in the real world, Ziva had a brand new problem.

She was falling.

Falling for him.

And she was falling far too fast.

…

**A/N: Yay, we finally got a bit of Tiva in! I figured you guys deserved it after waiting TEN WHOLE CHAPTERS! You're all the best!**

**Anyway, as for the guessing game, **_**Betherzz**_** got **_**half **_**it right, and then the first person to get it all right was drheart04, so nice work! The next people to get it right were NCIS-EW-HP-Gleek, cdfuller21, and then Rebel Magnus, then ncis29. Good work!**

**And I know I'm terrible at replying to reviews but I really appreciate you guys taking the effort to review, it means a lot. To have over 80 reviews on this story really means a lot. I love you all 3**

**I will update as soon as I can, could be tomorrow, if you review lots!**


	11. Us

**A/N: OK, planned this out in my head during my humanities class while I was supposed to be writing an essay on Vikings. I got it done, though. :)**

**And WOW, we've reached 90 reviews! That's the most I've ever gotten on a story of any length. If we can reach 100 for this chapter, it would make my day. No, week. Well, anyway, I know there 82 story alerts on this (AWESOME again btw :D), is ten reviews (or if you're feeling generous...) too much to ask? Loves xx**

…

Ziva immediately felt the emptiness when Tony's lips left her own. That feeling he had given her, she wanted so badly to feel it again.

Their foreheads rested against each other, and both had their eyes closed, afraid to face the other after doing something so impulsive.

Needing and wanting, she blindly felt for his lips, but he moved away, only holding her upper arms.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he whispered.

"I don't care," she whispered back, reaching for him again, this time stopped by his fingers against her lips.

She slowly opened her eyes, stepping out of his reach, only now fully realising what she had just done.

"You kissed me," she stated needlessly, breathlessly.

"I know," he replied. "I'm s—"

"You kissed me," she repeated, louder. "And you said…" her face now wore an expression of worry and confusion. "You said…" Her breathing became heavier, chest rising and falling with every intake of air.

"Ziva—" He tried to say, only to be cut off again.

"Did you mean it? I need a straight answer, Tony, please, before I lose my mind. Did you mean it?"

He looked over his shoulder, and back to the waiting woman in front of him. Of course he had meant it. He just wasn't sure if he should say it. She didn't need any more stress in her life. But he knew he couldn't stop his feelings.

"Yes," he finally said.

"Say the words," she demanded.

"I'm falling for you, Ziva David," he responded, the truth sparkling in his beautiful eyes. "Fast."

She turned her back to him and rubbed her temples. What to say? What to _do_?

Tony knew he had made a mistake in telling her, and kissing her. But he didn't regret the kiss. It had been amazing, like fireworks.

He walked over to her, preparing to apologise. But as he parted his lips to speak, there was a blur and he could feel her lips again.

It was like magic.

"I'm falling too," she uttered so softly he almost didn't hear it, but he did, and kissed her more.

"This is a terrible idea," she said after a few minutes.

"Dreadful," he agreed, cupping her cheek with his hand.

But they didn't stop.

He went to kiss down her neck, but she grabbed his neck firmly. "Stop," she ordered. "We need to talk about this."

"I agree," he said with slight difficulty. "What exactly did you tell Gibbs?"

_Earlier that evening, at the Gibbs home…_

"_Who's the father?"_

_After coming to terms with her pregnancy, she felt bringing Ray into this would ruin everything. She bit her lip, and he took that as an answer._

"_If ya say DiNozzo I'll…" he said, knowing all too well she was too smart for that. Well, he believed it. Even Gibbs didn't know about Paris. It was her and Tony's secret, just like Ori._

_Gibbs' calm expression morphed into one of unrecognisable, but undoubtedly powerful emotions._

"_It's Tony's," she said, not being able to stop herself. "I…I have to go."_

_She raced up the stairs. She couldn't look at him. She didn't know if he believed her or not, but she certainly knew this one was going to come back to bite her._

…

"I never really got to tell him anything," she admitted.

"And what about us?" he asked. "What are we gonna do?"

"I do not know," she confessed.

"We could 'pull a Paris' and pretend this never happened if you want. It'd probably be easier, but I can't say it would be for me."

"Sometimes, what's easiest isn't always best," she said with a small smile.

"So we're really doing this?" he asked, his hopes skyrocketing.

She laughed apprehensively. "We're really doing this."

"Good," he said, pulling her into a gentle hug. "I love you too much to let you go without a fight."

For what seemed like years, they stayed like that, in the middle of his living room, until Ziva spoke.

"I love you, Tony."

He kissed her hair.

She didn't know why she hadn't ever seen it before. It had really been since they had been rescued. They shared so many secrets, but she knew she trusted him with every one of them. With all that was going on in her life, she just felt _safe _around him.

"What about the baby?" he asked carefully.

"Every child needs a father," she said. It was true. She had been afraid of letting him commit because if something went wrong everything would blow up in her face, but now, with him, it felt like nothing could go wrong.

…

They parted later that evening, slightly regretful but satisfied.

The truth was, neither had any idea what was going to happen in the future, if everything would work out or not. Both hoped, for the other's sake, that it would.

Things didn't really become difficult until, as Tony was arriving at work, Gibbs stepped into the elevator with him, flicking the emergency switch almost immediately. They had to know it was coming sooner or later.

"Talk to me," Gibbs ordered.

Tony played it cool, as per usual. "'Bout what, Boss? Weather, sports, TV, ah, movies?"

A prompt Gibbs-slap cleared that attitude right up.

"Ziva."

"What about Ziva?" he asked, his nervousness escalating quickly.

Gibbs slammed his fist against the elevator wall. "She's pregnant and she told me you're the father, that's what!"

"OK, OK, what do you wanna know?"

"Oh, I don't need to know anything," he said, a tone of evil to his voice. "I know it's not yours. Ziva's not that girl."

Anger swept through Tony's body. Gibbs always thought that Ziva was too good for him, but she loved him, she had said it herself.

"If it's not mine, then who else has she been sleeping with, Sherlock?" he snapped, not looking at his boss at all.

"I don't know, maybe you could tell me, DiNozzo. And while you're at it, you can tell me why she lied."

"Why are you so sure that it's not my kid, Gibbs?" Tony asked through gritted teeth.

"Ziva is too smart for that. You're not her type."

"OK, that's it! If she's too good for me, then why—" he cut himself off, shutting up before he blabbed something he wasn't supposed to.

Before Gibbs could respond, there was a loud _clunk, _and a squeak. Tony tried to get the elevator to work again, but the lights wouldn't turn on.

Tony was stuck in there, with Gibbs, the Master of getting information out of people.

Just what he needed.

**A/N: So there you have it. To be honest, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I'd love to hear what you think. Remember, 100 is our goal. :) Look forward to reading your responses!**


	12. What Needed To Be Said

**Also, a few of you pointed out about Gibbs being mean to Tony, etc., it **_**will **_**be resolved in this chapter. **

**Thanks again!**

**PS sorry it took me a little longer to update, I had SO much homework. Although, I am only in Year 8, I have no idea how I will juggle fanfiction and homework and work and other stuff when I'm older :S**

"Crap," both men said immediately. Gibbs pressed the emergency button frantically, smacking the wall hard when nothing happened.

"Looks like we're not getting to work any time soon," he said, sipping his coffee. Tony groaned and leaned against the wall, sliding down until he was on the elevator floor.

Gibbs sighed. "Talk to me," he said, joining him.

Tony hesitated. He knew this secret meant a lot to Ziva, too much for him to spill everything now. Then again, this was Gibbs. He meant so much to both of them. Did he really deserve to be lied to like this? Even after what he had said, which very much hurt Tony, that didn't erase the fact that he had been like a father and a role model to the entire team, if a little late in life.

"The kid's not mine," he finally admitted, staring at the opposite wall. "Happy?"

"Not quite," the ex-Marine replied. "Gotta break one of my own rules here. I'm sorry."

"Gee, whatever for?" Tony said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"For saying that Ziva was too good for you."

Tony said nothing.

"You're a great agent, Tony," he said, relating by using his first name. "You're strong. You don't have a lot of weak spots. Unfortunately for you, Ziva's one of 'em. The only way to get to you is to hit one of those spots. I knew Ziva was lying to me about something, but I couldn't get it out of her. You were my only option."

"Great to see I was your last choice," he snapped.

"Look," Gibbs said, resting a knowing hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I know you hate me right now, but you need to tell me what's going on."

"I can't."

"You _can, _you just don't want to. When you care about someone, you're more prepared to hurt yourself than someone else."

The words hit Tony hard.

He swallowed. "How much do you know?" he whispered.

"I know that you really care about her, DiNozzo. I know that you were willing to give anything up for her and that baby. Despite what you've said all these years, you're not afraid of commitment, you're afraid of getting hurt."

It hurt, but both knew every word of it was true.

"Tony," Gibbs said quietly. "Did you kiss her?"

The Senior Field Agent was shocked yet again at just how knowing his fearless leader was. It only proved his theory that trying to hide something from Gibbs is like a five-year-old hiding in a game of hide-and-seek. You know what you're looking for is in the bushes right in front of you, you just have to move a few leaves.

"Yeah, I kissed her," he replied, knowing he would have to face this sooner or later. "Last night at my place."

"Anything else happen?"

"We didn't sleep together if that's what you mean."

"What was it like?" Gibbs asked.

"It was like…like for a second, everything was different. For a second, everything was alright, because we were together like that. No one's ever kissed me like she did, Boss. It was like magic."

"It's called love, Tony."

…

"Morning, McGee," Ziva called as she trudged up the last few stairs and set her things down on her desk.

He looked up from his paperwork and greeted her with a half-hearted smile.

Ziva, despite the events of the past few days, was quietly confident that today would bring truth and peace to her life. She knew Gibbs would have to know about Ray being the father, and she would have to tell McGee and Abby and her father. She hoped, when all that weight was off her shoulders, that she would feel better.

"It's almost 0800," she commented. "Where are Tony and Gibbs?"

McGee jutted a thumb toward the unmoving elevator doors and Ziva's jaw dropped.

"They're in _there?_ Together?" she asked.

"Yeah, what's the big deal?"

"Nothing," she sighed, and strolled over to sit on Tim's desk. It was time to come clean, while no one was around.

"You're on my paperwork," he said, stating the obvious.

"Trust me, McGee; this will be worth missing a few minutes of paperwork."

As she opened her mouth to speak, she felt a vibration coming from her pocket: her cell phone. And Tony was calling.

"Hello, Tony," she answered. "I heard you and _Gibbs _were stuck in the elevator."

"_Gibbs knows, Ziva_," Tony replied immediately. "_He understands why you did what you did, and he knows we'll take care of things together_."

She sighed again, relieved. "Thank you."

"Tell him I called someone to fix the elevator," McGee said.

"McGee said to tell you—"

"_I heard." _He paused. "_Have you told him yet?_"

"I was just about to," she replied, smiling.

"_Then what are you doing on the phone?"_

She looked at the waiting McGee, and knew in her heart she had to tell him now. It had been almost three months since she had gotten pregnant, she even thought he might have figured it out himself by now.

"Tony?" she said quietly.

"_Yeah?"_

"Ani ohevet otcha," she whispered hastily, and hung up the phone.

Tony snapped his phone shut too. "Ani ohevet otcha," he repeated. "What do you think that means?"

"It's Hebrew," he said wisely. "For 'I love you'."

…

"You were saying?" McGee asked, wondering what was so important.

"I was saying that…I am pregnant, Tim."

Tim's face morphed into his "three little pigs" expression. "Pregnant? Is it Miami Man's?"

"Yes," she confessed. "But I assure you he will be coming nowhere near my child. He is not the man I thought he was."

"So you're gonna do this all on your own?"

"Well…"

Before she could finish, both heard a promising 'ding' behind them and the two men walked out of the elevator.

"Gibbs," Ziva said, at the same time that McGee said, "Boss."

The Israeli looked up at the silver-haired man, and felt the lies and hatred leave her as he kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear.

"You are not alone, Ziva. You will never be alone."

She nodded, her eyes conveying every possible message of gratitude.

"Did you guys know?" McGee asked, extremely confused.

"Kinda," Tony said, a little guiltily, and in unison with Gibbs', "You bet."

"You know what we have to do now," McGee said, catching Tony's eye.

"We gotta tell Abby."

...

Abby flung her arms around Tony and Ziva's necks when she heard the news.

"This is unbelievable! Amazing! You're gonna have a little Ziva, Ziva!" she exclaimed.

"Abby, calm down—" Ziva tried to interject.

"But aren't you excited? This is incredible!"

"How many Caf-POWs have ya had today, Abs?" Tony asked.

"Just the usual," she shrugged. "OK, so who's the daddy?"

Abby snuck a glance at Tony.

"Don't look at me, I haven't been near that thing since Pa—"

He was cut off by Ziva elbowing him in the ribs, hard.

"Since we were undercover," he winced.

Abby furrowed her brows. "What's going on with you two?"

"What?" Tony said, still obviously in pain. "There's nothing going on."

"So it's not yours?" the Goth asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Biologically, no," Ziva said. "It's Ray's."

"The guy from Miami? When?"

"Almost three months ago."

"Ziva!" she yelled. "Three months? How could you not tell me this? You should have called me, the _second _you got out of that doctor's office, I thought I was your friend."

"Abby, please, don't be like this. I wanted to tell you, believe me, but I had barely come to terms with it myself, I wasn't mentally ready to tell everyone until _I _had accepted it."

"And Ray?" she questioned further.

"He's not going to be needed around here."

Interrupting her conversations for the second time that day, was her cell phone ringing. It was Gibbs this time.

"Yes, Gibbs?"

"_You better get down here," _was all he said.

"I'll be right down."

"_Bring DiNozzo with you, he's gonna wanna see this."_

At the sound of the dial tone, Ziva grabbed Tony's arm, mumbled an apology to Abby and hurried for the elevator.

And there in the bullpen, was McGee looking even more confused, Gibbs looking like, well, Gibbs, and a woman with brown hair, green eyes, olive skin and tears on her face.

"You have to help me," she pleaded to Ziva. "My husband's trying to kill me."

It was Jeanne.

…

**A/N: Even I didn't see that one coming! I'll update when I can. Review? You guys seem to be good when I set goals. 120? :) **

**Much love, **

**-superashy8**


	13. Twisted

**A/N: Hey! Update for you :) Please note this chapter contains mentions of abuse AND is really short. **

**Oh my God, realised my thank you wasn't put into the last chapter: THANKS A MILLION! Love you guys thank you so much for being such faithful readers and reviewers.**

Although, technically, she had only met Jeanne Benoit once, Ziva knew immediately it was the girl before her.

Her husband, she had insisted, was trying to kill her. Ray…

Not only was the father of her child married to her potential boyfriend's ex, but he was quite possibly a killer.

The Israeli watched Jeanne's brilliant green eyes flicker for a second to Tony, who could only look rigid in apprehension, then back to Ziva.

"What exactly did he do?" Ziva asked calmly.

In tears, Jeanne lifted up the bottom of the white blouse she was wearing, to reveal dark purple bruises on her once perfect flesh. The entire team looked, wide-eyed, and Ziva felt Tony's hand wrap around hers.

She thought carefully then slipped out of Tony's grip to whisper something to Gibbs.

"I think you should speak to her alone," she advised.

"Why not you?" he whispered back. "You two do have a lot in common."

Ziva looked at the woman. She needed help. That was clear. She gestured for Jeanne to follow her and went behind the stairs, the one place they could be in semi-private before the maintenance crew got here to double check the elevator was OK.

"I hate to stress you out more," Jeanne apologised. "Ray's given you enough problems, I mean—"

"I know, I am not the only one," Ziva replied, remaining calm still. "He is…_was_ your husband, and we'll protect you, but you need to tell me what happened."

The other woman inhaled deeply. "OK. After I found out about him cheating on me, I threw him out. I didn't hear from him again until last night. He came into our house at four in the morning. I was asleep but he was so loud he woke me up. I saw him coming towards me and panicked. I could smell the alcohol and I knew he'd been drinking. A lot."

"Then what happened?" Ziva asked, not liking how it was sounding so far.

"He tried to kiss me. I knew he was drunk and pushed him away and he…he started punching me." She sobbed. It was a painful memory. "He had to stop to throw up and I just grabbed my handbag and ran. He was following me, and I didn't have time to even get in the car before he grabbed me. I managed to get out of the parking lot. He was ringing my cell phone non-stop and sending me abusive text messages."

"We'll need those for evidence," Ziva interrupted.

"OK. Anyway, I knew he wouldn't leave me alone and wherever I was, he'd find me, so I stopped off at a friend's house and borrowed some clothes then headed for the airport. DC was the first place I thought of. I know the area."

"Did Ray say anything while he was at your home?" This was starting to get a little too personal than what Ziva would have liked.

"He just said something about you…that if I were gone then he could have you."

The words hit home. "No. He is not getting near either of us. We'll arrange a safe house for you and Gibbs will take care of you. There is no one better for the job."

"What about Tony?"

Ziva was shocked. "You are not serious? I mean, I have not exactly spoken to him about you…I apologise but he has a lot to handle."

"Well, I'll talk to him. I want to get things straight between us. Things shouldn't have been that bad and we both deserve to get the monkeys off our backs."

"I'll make sure that happens."

…

"Anyone care to tell me why my ex-girlfriend is talking to my current g—talking to Ziva?" Tony asked.

_Crap, _he thought to himself. _Now McGeek's in on it._

"Ziva's your _what_?" the younger agent asked, flabbergasted.

"Shut it, McLonesome, and listen up: yes, Ziva and I kissed last night. Some things may have been said…I'm not really sure where we stand but right now, someone needs to tell me what Jeanne's doing here?"

"Um…" Tim stammered, trying to soak up all that information that had been delivered in the space of thirty seconds. "If I knew…I'd tell you…"

Tony, as he always did, turned to Gibbs for guidance.

"Don't look at me," he said. "I've got no idea what's going on lately."

Before Tony could say any more, the two women returned. McGee hurried to his desk and Ziva proceeded to brief Gibbs, leaving Tony and Jeanne to talk for a moment.

"Hi," he said simply.

"Hey," she replied with a fleeting smile. "I, um, just wanted to apologise for, you know, saying I wished I never met you. The truth is, I'm glad I did."

"Same here," he said, offering his hand for a simple shake. "I liked having you in my life, but I gotta thank you for making me see what I already had before you."

"Well, now that we're, shockingly, on the same page, I have to ask: why NCIS? Why not just call 911?"

"Well, three reasons. First, Ray works for the Navy, second, I know you're a really good cop and so is your boss, and third, Ziva really needed to know."

"Why? And how do you two know each other?"

"She didn't tell you?" Jeanne turned to Ziva, who was only behind her. "You didn't tell him about Ray?" she asked, quieter, but loud enough for Tony to hear.

"_Ray's _your husband?" Tony exclaimed. "You have got to be kidding me! You're joking!"

He kept yelling things as he walked away, towards the bathrooms.

"Well, he took that rather well," Jeanne commented.

"I think you took things pretty well too," Ziva replied. "I am glad you two sorted things out."

"You're lucky to have him, Ziva. He must really love you."

Both women momentarily stared at the place Tony had been standing.

_Someone has got to start telling me things, _McGee thought to himself.

…

Since there wasn't really a body to operate on, they had Ducky inspect Jeanne while Abby handled the evidence from her phone and Ziva organised a safe house. McGee was keeping BOLOs on all of Ray's things and Tony was looking into his email and bank records.

Ducky examined Jeanne carefully, and Ziva was waiting to take her to the safe house when they were done. They were seemingly friendly with each other, which Tony wasn't particularly happy about.

Once the two women had left, Ducky called Gibbs.

"Whaddya got, Duck?" he asked in his usual way, striding into autopsy to greet his old friend.

"Well, I have made an unusual discovery about our visiting doctor. Actually it reminds me of a case I worked once I was a mere ME assistant."

"Short version, Duck?" Gibbs grunted.

"The bruises were from a particular angle, Jethro. And not only that, but as she put it, they were inflicted by a male hand but there were fingernail marks on some."

Gibbs looked at him blankly.

"Well, I can't think of a motive but I would swear the injuries were self-inflicted."

Gibbs promptly walked into the elevator to see what Abby had for him.

…

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs!" Abby shouted. "You're right on time. I have news for you!"

"Always do, Abs," Gibbs replied.

"Yeah, we think this could be big," said McGee, who was by no surprise down in the lab too.

Abby blushed and smiled before remembering her job. "OK, the GPS on Ray Doucette's phone says that _it _was at his house in Miami yesterday, when the texts were sent."

"But I called his office and they all said he reported for work that day," McGee finished.

"The phone never left the house, Gibbs. Even when Ray did. Jeanne made all the text messages herself. And wait, there's more."

Abby smiled at McGee, offering him the big finale.

"And two weeks ago, guess who a call was placed to: none other than our friend Christopher Mason."

"How does Jeanne know him?" Gibbs asked, becoming quickly apprehensive.

"When she still lived in D.C., Jessica Mason had cancer, but survived. Jeanne was her doctor. With the way he said he loved her, he was probably there all the time," Abby explained.

"She must have still been in touch with him, and known about the killings," Gibbs said.

"I…we think, Boss, she was targeting Ziva. After all, she had an affair with her husband and hooked up with her ex, even if it wasn't intentional, maybe it just got too much."

"Is Ziva still here?" Abby asked innocently.

"No," Gibbs said solemnly. "She left for the safe house a half hour ago. She's alone."

…

**A/N: And there you have it! I know this was a short ass chapter but hopefully with a nice cliffy you will forgive me :D thanks again for the reviews, you're all amazing!**


	14. Last Moments

**A/N: I don't wanna raise the bar too high, but I had plans for this chapter the moment I submitted the last one. I'm so excited! Anyway, I really hope you like this—it's dedicated to all the young writers out there who are afraid to share their gift with the world. 3 Also, I have a nasty habit of 'quick writing' and not proofreading my work. I also write at night before I go to sleep so I tend to be tired. I'm actually amazed that I can write something comprehendible but if you find any errors please tell me and I'll fix them.**

The car ride had been relatively quiet, apart from the occasional cough or clearing of the throat. As she always did when on protection detail, she drove to the speed limit—killing Jeanne in an accident would guarantee her badge on Vance's desk in a matter of hours.

Ziva pulled carefully into the driveway and reached for her badge and weapon—which were resting in the drink holder between the two women as it was far easier for her to reach them when driving.

Unfortunately, it was just as easy for Jeanne to reach them, and within seconds, the gun was pointed straight at Ziva's heart.

…

_NCIS HQ, Navy Yard_

_Ten minutes earlier…_

"We gotta go after them," Tony said worriedly, hurrying to his desk and grabbing his weapon and shield, almost dropping them. "Come on, we should be able to get there quickly if—"

He faltered to a stop when he felt a hand on his shoulder. A strong, warm hand.

"Boss," he said, looking at the silver-haired man.

Gibbs just nodded. "I'm driving."

…

Tony thought this was the fastest he had ever seen Gibbs drive in his almost ten years at NCIS. It was reckless, unorthodox, but nonetheless fast, and if they had any hope of making it in time, fast was exactly what they needed.

…

_Safe House_

_Present Time_

"Get out of the car," Jeanne ordered, still pointing the gun at Ziva. "Now."

"Jeanne…" Ziva said, in an attempt to calm to woman.

"Now!" she repeated, louder. Ziva had no choice but to abide. She carefully slid out of the car and Jeanne was waiting right outside her door when she did.

"Hands in the air," she commanded.

Ziva raised her hands.

"Why are you doing this?" the Israeli managed to ask.

"Why? _Why?_" Jeanne was enraged. _ "_I want to not have a man taken away from me by you, Ziva, that's why! This agency ruined my life! I had a great boyfriend, who turned out to be undercover, a husband who cheated on me with one of the agents and I know you people had something to do with the death of my father."

Tears welled in her green eyes. Ziva knew that was all true, every word. And now her life was at risk. Now seemed a better time than any to hold her baby.

"That should have been mine," she sneered enviously. "I've always wanted children."

"Killing me won't do anything for you," Ziva tried to interject. "Ray won't—"

"I don't want Ray, he's a liar and a cheater. But killing you _will_ make Tony realise he still has feelings for me."

Ziva's eyes formed an inquisitive expression.

"You're in love with him."

Before the girl could answer, a car skid around the corner and came to a grinding halt, and Gibbs and Tony jumped out, holding their own weapons.

"Drop it, Jeanne," Gibbs said.

"You drop 'em," she snapped. "Or I shoot."

Gibbs threw a glance Tony's way. His heart was breaking, one could see, as he watched the woman he loved under gunpoint, and the woman he had once loved pointing the gun herself.

Gibbs took no hesitation to jump right in front of Ziva.

"Gibbs," she whispered, trying to argue.

"I'm not moving," he replied, focusing on Jeanne.

Tony knew this was up to him now.

"Jeanne," he said softly, taking small steps towards her. "What will make you stop? Please, please don't do this."

"Say you don't want to be with Ziva. Say she means nothing to you."

Tony was silent.

Jeanne tightened her grip on the gun. "Say it!"

"I don't want to be with Ziva," he barely choked out. "She means _nothing _to me."

"Say you want to be with me. Say you only love me."

"I love you, Jeanne," he said guiltily, the once beautiful words tasting like vomit on his tongue. His heart ached with lies and sorrow, but he kept going. "I want to be with you, forever."

Jeanne paused for a moment, and then knew what to say next.

"Kiss me, Tony."

He didn't have a chance to stop before she launched herself at him. And he kissed her as tenderly as he could; knowing the ones he loved might be spared at this expense.

Ziva couldn't stand to watch. After kisses and the words they had shared, their feelings still unresolved, to witness this happening was too much.

He pulled away only when he was sure she needed air.

"Let them go," he pleaded in a whisper. "Let them go and I'll be with you forever." He was truly willing to make that sacrifice if it meant Ziva and Gibbs and the baby live long, happy lives.

She considered it for a split second.

"Not good enough," she decided.

Her gun was now pointing to Ziva and Gibbs again. And in pure hesitation, Tony raised his own weapon.

"Please don't make me do this," Tony said painfully.

"Then don't do it," Jeanne replied, eyes focused on Ziva. "She needs to die."

Jeanne's hand trembled as she held the gun, and beads of sweat formed on her olive skin.

Then everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Tony and Ziva looked at each other for what they knew could be the last time. Gibbs stood stronger in front of Ziva, protecting almost every inch of her.

A shot rang out.

Then another.

Kill shot.

And only one was left standing.

…

**A/N: I know I'm evil, hahaha. I'm going to start working on the last chapter now, it should be up by Friday, but if you guys review I promise to review earlier if I can. About the last chapter, I realised it wasn't actually that short at all, but this one is. Hopefully the action makes up for it, we'll see.**


	15. Reprocussions

**A/N: You guys are lucky I got sick today and had time to write this. Thanks for all the reviews, the last chapter got a pretty big response :) **

Tony knew he would never forget today.

He first looked to his left, where Ziva and Gibbs had been standing.

Before Jeanne had fired.

Gibbs lay on the asphalt, blood pouring from his body. But he was alive. The bullet had only hit him in the arm, and he knocked Ziva backward when he fell.

Tony rushed over to them, helping both of them sit up.

"You OK, Boss?" he asked.

"Yeah," Gibbs grunted. "It's not like it hasn't happened before." As strong as he was, though, it was clear he was in a lot of pain.

"Ziva?" he questioned, a little more slowly.

"I am fine," she replied, her eyes fixated on the fourth body. "Tony…did you…"

Tony closed his eyes to ease the guilt that was throbbing through his veins. "Yeah."

Today, here, he had shot and killed Jeanne Benoit, right in the head. She lay lifeless on the cold ground, her eyes strangely clouded over, not breathing.

Not knowing what else to do right now, Ziva dialled 911. "Hello, this is NCIS Probationary Agent Ziva David," she said to the operator, calmly. "I am currently at the location of a shooting, one agent is wounded and a woman dead." She said the last word quietly, so as to not upset Tony. She gave them the address and a truck was there within minutes.

When the paramedics offered the unhurt agents a ride, Ziva refused.

"We are taking the car," she said, knowing what being in a truck with Gibbs and Jeanne would only make him question his judgement.

Silently, both fastened their seatbelts, Ziva taking the wheel, and were on their way to the hospital, where Gibbs would be prepared for surgery.

But the silence was unbearable. Ziva did what she always did: watch Tony beat himself up over something that would have cost him if he hadn't done it.

"Stop it," she said firmly.

"Stop what?" he asked, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Beating yourself up," she replied, a little louder.

Then something snapped. "Well what was I supposed to do?" he yelled. "I just shot the woman who was my girlfriend for a year! To death!"

"You had no other choice! She only got Gibbs, she would have shot again and one of us would be dead right now. We're lucky that desk duty is all we're going to get."

Tony was silent, as her words sunk in. He stared endlessly at the floor.

"I know it will take you a while to get used to it," she said softly. "But I am so glad that you, and I are both alive. Aren't you?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I don't know what I'd do if you…" He turned to look into her waiting eyes.

"I know." She very gently squeezed his hand.

…

After Gibbs' surgery, his two agents visited him. McGee and Abby were on their way, as Vance would not let them leave until work hours were over.

Footsteps seemed louder than normal as they entered the white room.

"Boss?" Tony said.

"Gibbs?" Ziva called.

He was in a hospital bed, his arm in a sling, still half-asleep from the anaesthetic.

"You two," he said, opening his eyes. "Get over here."

They obeyed and rushed to his side.

"Ziver," he said first. "It was worth breaking protocol for you."

"Thank you Gibbs," she replied. "And, I am sorry for lying to you."

He nodded, forgiving her. "Tony," he continued. "You did the right thing."

Tony sighed. "I know I did, I just…I know."

"Now, both of you need to talk," Gibbs ordered. "Tony said some things in the elevator that really made me realise what you could have. Who am I to break up a family?"

Tony smiled in gratitude, and Ziva leant down, and whispered, "Toda, Abba," before pecking her lips to his cheek and walking out of the room.

…

"What do we do now?" Tony asked when Abby and McGee had gone to see Gibbs.

"We talk," Ziva said. "Like Gibbs told us. What are we going to do?"

"We're going to be a family," Tony said, remembering Gibbs' earlier words. "You and me, and your little baby. I…I wanna be there every step of the way."

"You're sure?" she asked.

"I've never been less sure of anything," he chuckled.

She laughed. "I love you," she said, smiling, and knowing her feelings were right and true.

"I love you too," he replied, kissing her lips softly.

And every word was true. With their history, it must have been there, somewhere. But the kidnapping, the baby, Jeanne…now they knew for sure. And it felt so good to be sure of something.

…

The next day, Ziva had to something that she really didn't want to do.

She dialled the number and heard the ring.

"_Hello_?" a familiar voice answered.

"Ray," she said.

"Ziva? What do you want?" he was clearly angered, and so he should be.

"Um, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but…Jeanne was killed in a shooting yesterday afternoon."

"_What_? _Jeanne? I…_"

"It is a very long and complicated story. I would be happy to tell it to you, but we—NCIS—need you to fly to D.C. and talk to us. If we can be professional about this? We will pay for the flight."

"_I'll be on the next flight out," _he said, still in complete shock.

He hung up, and all Ziva could hear was the dial tone.

Ray was coming.

**A/N: Well, there you have it! Please review, and also I'm gonna self-advertise: I published a one-shot today, called ****Kiss and Kill****, please read it if you want to…I liked it. :) I'll update this weekend if I can, if not then sometime early next week.**


	16. Visitors

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! And hey, I re-read this and realised this all has taken place over the space of a week. Talk about a busy schedule!**

Ray's arrival came far too quickly for Ziva.

Before she knew it, she was waiting for him at the front entrance of NCIS, as his escort.

The team knew Ray was coming, and understood that it would be hard for Ziva, but they had no idea.

If she had never slept with Ray, none of this would have happened. She would not be pregnant, Jeanne would not be dead, and she and Tony would not have been kidnapped, she would not have lied to Gibbs, and he would not be injured.

But, she and Tony never would have shared that kiss. They never would have said 'I love you'. Very few times had those words been uttered to Ziva. She knew they were very, very special ones. She would not have her baby, whom she had grown to love very much, as any mother would. She would not have the most wonderful, loving family she could ever want.

In number, she had lost more than she had gained, but what she had been given from this experience meant so much to her. She wouldn't change it if she had the chance.

And now, Ray was stepping out of a taxi, and with every stride, coming closer to the woman he had betrayed.

"Hi, Ziva," he greeted, somewhat awkwardly.

"Hello, Ray," she replied solemnly. "Please follow me."

She almost smiled to herself as she turned for him to follow her. Five years ago she would have snapped his little neck for messing with her. It was incredible how much she had changed.

The elevator ride was painfully long, and Ziva had to break the silence with something, _anything._

"You will be interviewed by Agent Gibbs," she informed him with a stern expression on her face. "Any information you have will be usef—"

"OK, I get it!" he shouted. "I screwed up, and I'm sorry."

She flicked the emergency switch, crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him. "You _screwed up_? Gee, I wonder where you got that idea."

"Ziva—"

"No, really! I do not know where you went wrong," her voice was thick with anger and sarcasm. "You cheat on your wife, don't tell her, don't tell me, continue our relationship and _still _don't tell me and when you find out I'm pregnant with your child, you completely abandon me, and your wife tries to kill me!"

"OK, the last part wasn't my fault—"

"It doesn't matter!" she shouted. "Because I do not need you."

"You're going to do this all by yourself? You're not serious." He seemed sceptical.

"No, you're right. I am not on my own." Her voice was getting louder now, her anger was rising.

"Oh, so you've hooked up with someone else already, have you? Way to go. What is he, some guy you met at the gas station?"

That hurt her. A lot.

She brought a knee to his stomach, hard and fast, and he doubled over in pain. She grabbed his shirt collar and rammed him against the wall, making a loud crashing sound.

"How _dare _you speak of Tony like that," she hissed. She raised her hand, and slapped him across the face, leaving him with a blood nose and a red mark that would surely bruise.

"T-Tony?" he winced. "You mean like…" He was starting to put the pieces together. When Ziva had said she and Jeanne had a mutual friend, it was him, the undercover cop.

"Yes, the man who broke your wife's heart and put a bullet in her head."

"Jeez, guess you rebounded pretty quickly…ouch!"

She responded with another slap to the face.

"He loves me, and he'll make a better father than you ever will."

"You loved me," Ray defended.

Ziva panted. "I liked you. That is until you lied to me."

"You are such a hypocrite! You lie all the time!" Ray started to push against her force, but she held him there, unbelievably strong.

"That's true, I do lie, but the one time I believe it's never OK is in a relationship. I have to thank you. Without you, I would never have fallen in love. But you, Ray Doucette, are dead to me."

"Fallen in _love? _Well isn't that sweet?" Ziva thought he would have learned his lesson by now.

"Do not question me Ray, or so help me I will—"

She was silenced by his lips. He pushed against her with all his strength and held her there, gripping her hair tightly.

Ziva squirmed under his touch. How could he be doing this?

When he finally pulled away for air, she wasted no time tripping him and holding him on the ground.

"God, I've missed you," he gasped.

"What is wrong with you? I cannot believe you have just lost your wife and you are going after me!"

"It's like I said, you're irresistible."

"Shut up," she commanded.

She stepped away, slammed the switch and the doors opened. She walked into the bullpen quickly, gesturing for Ray to follow.

"McGee!" she barked. "Take Mr Doucette to the conference room, now!"

Ziva was in ninja mode. And with the pregnancy hormones, it was bound to be ten times worse. She sat down at her desk, and angrily started typing. He was no one to disobey.

McGee quickly grabbed Ray by the arm and led him in the right direction.

"You'll regret this, Ziva!" he shouted over his shoulder. "That kid's gonna wanna know its father!"

She did not move, did not stand, did not look away from her screen. "It will have a father," she said.

As Tony entered the bullpen, he caught a glimpse of Ray's beat-up face before he left. Luckily, Ray had not seen him, otherwise there would probably have been trouble.

"What did you do to him?" he asked, smirking at the fact that his girlfriend still had a little ninja in her.

"Gave him what he deserved," she said simply, trapping all the hurt inside of her.

"Well, I for one am glad you taught the bastard a lesson. Did he say something?"

Ziva sighed. "It is not important."

"The hell it isn't," Tony walked over to her desk, placing a hand over hers, which was resting on her computer mouse. "If it wasn't important he wouldn't be like that right now."

"He insulted me, and you…he kissed me," she admitted, ashamedly.

Tony's rage spread across his face and his fists clenched. "He can't take advantage of you like that."

"I know," she stood up, cupping his cheek with her palm and placing a gentle kiss to his lips. "You are the only one I want to be kissing, Tony."

"I know, me too, it's just…this has been a long…week or so."

"Seems like years."

"I'm proud of you," he whispered.

"Why?"

He got up and headed over to his own desk. "You didn't kill this one."

Ziva just glared at him.

"Sorry."

…

"OK," Gibbs began, walking into the conference room where Ray had been waiting for over an hour now. "You don't like me, I don't like you, let's get this over with."

He slapped a folder down on the table. "Tell me about your marriage."

"I don't see how it's any of your business," Ray replied, obviously more than unhappy with the regard for guests at this agency.

"Well, let's see, you were involved with one of my agents, abandoned her, your wife organised for her and another agent to be kidnapped by a serial killer and then nearly got us all killed, so yeah, I'd say it's my business."

"OK, OK," Ray said, not wanting this meeting to turn out like the last. His head still ached. "What do you wanna know?"

"When did Jeanne first find out about the affair?"

Ray sighed as he recalled the sad day.

_November 14 2010_

_Miami, Florida_

Ray's head was spinning. He still had not called Ziva back about the baby. He knew someone would get hurt, and he cared about both women. Until now, his philosophy had been what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Now, it was much too late for that.

Jeanne knew the truth.

"How could you do this to me?" she screamed at him. "Have an affair with some…some slutty girl you thought you'd never see again!"

"She's not slutty—" he tried to interrupt.

"What difference does it make? Do I not make you happy? I loved you more than I loved anyone else; I thought that would be enough."

"That's total bull!" he shouted. "We both know you're not over that cop you dated."

Jeanne's green eyes glared evilly at him. He had really blown it this time.

"Get out," she ordered, folding her arms.

"What?" he asked, never thinking things would truly get this bad.

"I want you to pack your things and I want you to leave."

She gave him half an hour and he was out the door, heartbroken and homeless.

…

_Present Time_

_NCIS HQ_

"It was only a couple of days after Ziva called me to tell me she was pregnant. She probably heard us talking on the phone," Ray explained to Gibbs. "I know Ziva looked through my work phone at Christmas—probably to get Jeanne's number and apologise. I left my personal phone at the house, and I didn't wanna go back, run into her, and make things worse."

"We picked that up in forensics," Gibbs replied. "Jeanne claimed you were sending abusive text messages, but the phone's GPS indicated it never left the home, and since you never went there we know that she sent the texts herself, to frame you."

"Man, I never thought she was that twisted," he sighed.

"That's wives for ya," Gibbs agreed.

…

Gibbs came down to the bullpen forty-five minutes later.

"Renaissance Ray done with his interview yet?" Tony asked.

"Yeah," Gibbs replied. "But he's insisting he see you first."

"Me?" He looked to Ziva for guidance, but she was just as surprised as he was.

Tony headed up to the conference room quickly, and found Ray waiting for him.

"Tony?" he asked with a sneer.

"Ray," he greeted. "We finally meet. What did you wanna say?"

"Alright, look buddy, we're probably supposed to hate each other—"

"I do hate you," Tony interrupted.

"Well…feelings aside, I wanted to talk to you about Ziva."

"What's to talk about? I've known the girl for nearly six years."

"I know, just…look after her. As guilty as I was, I loved having her in my life. She deserves to be taken care of, after all she's been through."

Ray held out his hand, in a gesture of peace. Tony shook it firmly.

"You got it."

Tony knew he really shouldn't like this guy. He broke the heart of someone who was already so beaten up and just starting to heal. But he respected Ziva deep down, and wanted the best for her. Tony had to admire that.

And he promised he would never leave her side, from today until death took them from this world.

...

**A/N: Well, there's another chapter for you! I have a few notes:**

**First, in the next chapter Tony and Ziva will go on a date, so please prepare for some fluff!**

**Second, if anyone is interested in making a video trailer for this fic, just because trailers are not really my thing, let me know. May I recommend the MJ song **_**You Are Not Alone**_**, because you know, it makes sense. :)**

**Last, I made a second YouTube account, so please check out my videos if you want to! My new name is NCISashyy. **

**OK, I'll update when I can. I have a LOT of homework this week so wish me luck…hopefully I'll get it all done and will be able to update. I know I'd rather be writing than preparing a report on Charles Darwin. **_**Boring…..**_

**K, bye!**


	17. Aftershock

**A/N: Thanks for the few people who reviewed the last chapter. :) This chapter is dedicated to all you lovely readers, this story would be just words on a page without you. You inspire me to write! **

**x.**

The look of pain Ziva had been wearing all day seemed to wash away when Ray stepped through those metal doors. But even so, she would never forget what happened in there with him; what she had said. Words were permanent, you could apologise, but you could never take them back.

In a second she felt Tony's strong hands on her shoulders from behind. She turned her head back and he leaned forward, his lips gently touching her cheeks.

"It's OK," he whispered, his teeth almost grazing her ear. "He's gone, Jeanne…Jeanne is gone, we're safe and we're gonna do this."

"I know," she replied contently. "This whole experience has just been…eventful."

"Let me ask you something," Tony said, letting of her, making her turn around. "If you could, would you take back being kidnapped? I mean, do you think we would have ever had _this, _without everything that's happened?"

Ziva barely had to think about it. "With the baby, we would have had something. I think our relationship would have grown. Getting taken and Rayand Jeanne…"—the sound of her name still hurt Tony after what he had done, so she tried to use it lightly—"maybe that was all a blessing in disguise. They gave us a little push in the right direction."

"You know what we should do?" he said unrelatedly.

Ziva raised her eyebrows.

"We should go on a date. A proper date, as boyfriend and girlfriend."

Ziva screwed up her face.

"What?" he asked, afraid of her disapproval.

" 'Boyfriend and girlfriend' sounds so immature," she replied.

"Significant other?" he suggested, smiling.

She just scoffed. "Partners," she confirmed.

And so it was to be, a formal, proper date. Tony's very favourite dinner place, that night.

…

Tony arrived ten agonising minutes late, smiling at her when she opened her apartment door in a huff.

"Sorry I'm…late…" he trailed off as he noticed just how beautiful she looked. Her wavy brown hair was in thick curls that brushed against her olive skin. She wore a gorgeous V-neck dress that was just the right amount of tightness to show off her baby bump and still look gorgeous, flowing around her knees.

Tenderly, he placed a hand on her cheek, and planted a kiss to her pink lips, and Ziva pulled herself closer to him, their bodies touching. They fit together like puzzle pieces. It was an amazing feeling. It was like they had found the most important piece and suddenly everything else falls into place, almost on its own. Then you could finally see the big picture. And it was an awfully nice one.

"We should stop," Ziva whispered through kisses. "We won't make our reservations."

"Agreed," Tony replied, hesitantly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can continue this later," Ziva said, tapping his shaven cheek before walking out the door, leaving him there, speechless.

…

"So," Ziva said, after the waiter had taken their menus and orders. "What are we going to talk about? Is there really that much we don't know about each other?"

"Well, yeah," he shrugged. "What about favourite foods?"

"In Mossad I had to diet to keep myself fit, I try to do the same here, but not to go to extremes. I eat what is easy and healthy," she replied, matter-of-factly.

"What about guilty pleasures?"

"Excuse me?" she asked, thinking he meant something completely different.

"You know, like junk food and stuff like that."

"Hands down, chocolate," she answered, laughing a little.

"Least favourite?" he asked, chuckling as well.

"I actually cannot stand raw eggs," she said.

"Who can?"

"I had to drink them every morning when I was young, and I used to _hate _it. What about you?"

"Favourite food: anything Italian," he stated.

"And that's including the women, I'm guessing?" she joked.

"Least favourite…my dad made me try a rice pudding when I was six." He screwed his face up, remembering the taste very clearly.

"I love rice pudding!" Ziva said.

He shook his head. "I just think something you put wrap seaweed with fish and soy sauce should not be put into a dessert."

The Israeli laughed, her brown eyes sparkling. She looked so beautiful right now, and she barely even knew it.

The rest of the meal was spent in this way, with mindless chatter and occasional moments spent in awe of the other.

Then a voice came over a speaker, saying: "Alright folks, this is your DJ sayin' finish your grub and get out on the dance floor 'cause this is a couples dance!"

Music began to play and people began making their way over to a large dance space to their right. Tony's eyes flickered to Ziva.

"Oh—no, I do _not _dance, Tony," she said, laughing over her words at the end.

But Tony was determined. He stood, held out a hand, and looked right into her eyes.

"Miss David, may I have this dance?" he asked, in a romantic way.

Her pride suddenly melted and she found herself unable to resist. A heart-warming smile made its way onto her face and took his hand.

She rested her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist.

"You go any lower and I will hurt you," she teased.

The tune was familiar. It was Michael Jackson's _You Are Not Alone. _They stepped slowly to the beat, swaying from side to side.

"_Another day has gone…._

_And I'm still all alone…_

_How could this be?_

_That you're not here with me?"_

Tony took her left hand and intertwined their fingers. They were now in a proper dancing position.

"_Never said goodbye…" _the song continued.

"_Someone tell me why…_

_Did you have to go…_

_And leave my world so cold?"_

As Tony listened to the words, he was reminded of the time without Ziva, while she was, unbeknownst to the team, being kept a prisoner halfway across the world. She was the only one who didn't know truly how affected he had been by it. Not as much as Ziva, of course, but the most of anyone on the team. They never talked about it. In their lives, there was never much time to tend to the wounds, but they treated what were scars as mere scabs. Leave them alone, and they will heal, eventually.

"_Every day I sit and ask myself…_

_How did love slip away?_

_Something whispers in my ear and says…"_

Tony did just that; leant forward and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Ziva."

He stood up straight again and she rested her head on his chest.

"_You are not alone…_

_I am here with you…_

_Though you're far away…_

_I am here to stay…"_

As the chorus repeated, their lips met in a soft kiss. It said a million words, which is why they rarely had to talk about the big things.

They didn't move until the very end of the song, when Tony finally said something.

"Let's get outta here."

Hand in hand, they paced along the sidewalk, staring up at the dark clouded sky. Suddenly, Ziva felt a drop of icy water splat onto her forehead, followed by millions more, all around them.

"Come on, we should get to the car," Tony shouted, then looked to Ziva, who seemed to be enjoying the rain. "What are you doing?"

"I grew up in a desert, Tony," she reminded him. "Rain there was very, very rare."

So for a few minutes, they stood there, enjoying the freezing splashes land on their bodies. That was until Tony felt a vibration in his pocket. Gibbs was calling him, and at 2030 hours?

"What's up, Boss?" he answered.

"_Got a call from downtown D.C. You and Ziva better get over here._"

"Why, what's goin' on?"

"_Ray Doucette was found dead an hour ago in his hotel room."_

…

**A/N: Well, that turned out differently to what I thought it would…throws my something of a plan for the next few chapters out the window, but oh well, that means the fic will be longer! Anyway, **_**please please please **_**review! I will try to update soon. Notes:**

**No new NCIS until the 22****nd**** of March! :'( they are taking their winter break. But I guess our favourite crime fighters (or rather their portrayers) need a rest.**

**It's been revealed that Ray's actual last name is Cruz, but he won't be on until ep 20 of this season, which because of the break isn't for like six weeks. Should I change his name? Yes/no?**

**And last of all, I'm a proud supporter of gay marriage, so happy Mardi Gras!**


	18. Torn

**A/N: Here's a new chapter, guys! So…majority rules and Ray stays as Ray Doucette. Sorry for the slight delay on this chapter. I had **_**so **_**much I wanted to put into this chapter but my plan is changing every day. Of course, I do know that this story won't be going anywhere any time soon. Thanks for all the reviews!**

"_Are ya gonna say something, DiNozzo?" _

Gibbs' voice rang clear from Tony's cell phone, despite the noise of the pouring rain that still surrounded him and Ziva.

"Uh…get McGee to send through the address," he stammered.

"_Pick up Ziva on your way,_" he ordered.

"She's with me, we'll be there as soon as we can."

"_Go easy on her, she didn't deserve to lose another boyfriend."_

Tony shoved his phone into his pocket and quickly guided Ziva into the car, safe from the rain.

"Tony, what's going on?"

He squeezed her hand. "Ziva…Ziva, I need you to remember, today when you were in the elevator with Ray. Remember how angry he made you feel, how upset you were."

Ziva did remember the feeling, and her brows started to furrow as she recalled the anger, but then her frown disappeared and her brown eyes widened in shock.

"He's dead," she said. "He's dead, isn't he?"

Both knew how much they hated him, but it hurt. She had been with this man, she was pregnant with this man's baby, and this was the third man in just a few years whose life had ended just when she started to fall. The pain was still there.

"I'm sorry, Ziva," he whispered, brushing her cheek with the back of her hand.

She just sighed and rested a hand on her protruding belly. "I guess my child will never know its true father."

Tony frowned. "True?"

"You know what I mean—" she tried to say, before being interrupted.

"Well, I'm not sure I do, Ziva. I committed to you; I gave up a lot to be with you, even before we got together, and yet you still won't acknowledge me as the father?"

"Biologically, Tony, you're not, and I know that hurts but what happened, happened before we realised what this was. I know you will stand by me and help me raise this baby, but, as my…_boyfriend_, I don't really know, technically, where you will stand with this child."

Tony knew they would have to talk about this later, but now they were on the clock. They had a job to do, so they sped off into a silent night time journey.

…

_Ray's Hotel Room_

_15 Minutes Later_

"Any first impressions, Doctor?" Gibbs asked, pen and paper in hand. They were trying to work extra fast to get the body out of here before Tony and Ziva arrived, which wasn't easy when down two agents.

Ducky crouched and looked at the large bullet wound in Ray's skull. "Well, Jethro, from the large amount of blood and bruising around the point of entry—" he pointed to the bruises—"I'd say the gun was held right to his head. It looks like a suicide to me."

"Ducky's right, Boss," McGee said, entering the room with a sheet of paper in hand. "Found a note, apologising to Ziva, Tony, and the team for what happened with Jeanne. I'll find a sample of his handwriting to compare it to when we get back to the navy yard."

"I think I can help with that," said a voice. All heads turned to the door, where Ziva was standing. She solemnly stepped towards Ray's body, and they all knew she was too fragile for someone to object right now. Everyone stepped away so she could take a look. Tony crept into the room about thirty seconds later. The last thing he had wanted was an awkward elevator ride.

"McGee, can I see the note?" Ziva asked calmly, crouching beside Ray's unmoving body. She pulled on some rubber gloves and examined the paper carefully.

"This looks like his handwriting," she said with a frown. "He is left handed…" Her eyes turned back to the body, and carefully she lifted his left hand. Sure enough, there were smudges from where the ink had rubbed onto his hand. "He wrote the note."

"What does it say, Ziver?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"_Whoever is reading this letter should contact NCIS immediately. There are people there who I owe greatly and want them to know my thoughts and feelings at my time of death," _Ziva quoted. _"First, thank you to all of Agent Gibbs' team for foiling my wife's plan to get me put in prison and kill one of you people. I am sure I'm not the only one who is glad she didn't succeed. Secondly, Agent DiNozzo, I'm grateful we got to talk before I died…"_

Ziva looked at Tony questioningly. "What did you talk about, Tony?" she asked, the first thing that had been said between them in a little while.

"It's not important," he replied, wanting her to keep reading.

"_Please follow my advice. I know it seems I'm not the best one to take it from but I know what I am talking about this time. I wish you and Ziva the best of luck as parents, I hope you can make a better father than I would have, I know Ziva thinks you will."_

At those words, Ziva felt a little exposed, with the team there, but at the same time touched that Ray would wish them luck after everything she had said and done.

"_And lastly to Ziva, I am so, so sorry for what happened between us. I was torn between a rock and a hard place and I handled the situation terribly. But I want you to know I cared a lot about you, I just didn't want to make your life any worse by saying that to you. I know you'll make a wonderful mother and I hope you have a wonderful, safe and happy life with Tony._

_For the last time,_

_Ray Doucette."_

The room was quiet. Those words, though touching, were also haunting. Ziva knew Tony was upset by what had happened in the car and there were certainly some unresolved feelings there, which had to be talked about, and the letter portrayed them as the perfect happy couple.

"Well, Mr Palmer," Ducky finally said, breaking the tension. "Let's get our friend back to the navy yard, shall we?"

"Of course, Doctor," Jimmy replied, oddly quietly.

Ziva just kept staring at the letter, unmoving. Gibbs moved over to his Senior Field Agent.

"Take her home, DiNozzo," he ordered in a whisper. "She needs comfort now, it's been too much too fast."

Tony nodded in a loyal fashion and gently lifted Ziva's arm to gesture they were leaving.

"I'll take you home, Ziva," he said. She obliged and they left the hotel room together.

…

It was too agonising, the silence. They drove all the way to Ziva's in silence, and Tony felt they needed to talk. The tension was too much to bear when she was this sensitive.

"I, uh, I'm sorry about what happened to Ray," he said.

"Please Tony, unless you are _responsible, _stop apologising!" she snapped in reply.

"OK, OK, I just…did you really mean what you said, about not knowing where we stand?"

"I did," she said, somewhat surely.

"But we've been over this, I thought that I…" He glanced over at the Israeli. There was something missing. Something that was very rarely missing. It was the fire in her eyes, the spark; the attitude. It was the wall she put up to the rest of the world. It had finally crumbled down.

"You didn't deserve this, you know," he said in an attempt to comfort her.

She just scoffed. "I don't?" she asked sarcastically. "I am not a good person, Tony. I almost beat the father of my child half to death; I could have broken his nose. I have lied to you, lied to Gibbs, I never told you about Ori, I have virtually no relationship with my father, I have killed _hundreds _of people." A crystal tear tumbled down her cheek. "I killed my own brother."

"But Gibbs' report…" Tony tried to say.

"We made it up," she admitted. "To this day no one apart from us has known."

"I can't believe you kept that to yourself all these years," he said, leaning down to kiss her, but she shrank away.

"What is it?" he asked in concern.

"My father _was _right; never get too attached to something. Things are too easily taken away. Nothing is truly permanent, it is better just to stay hidden."

"What are you saying?"

"This, it isn't what we thought it started off as unrequited and pure lust and the rest is just genuine friendship."

"Ziva, what else is love about? You know I'd risk my life for you any day. My world is a blur without you there."

"Stop!" she suddenly shouted, and he was silent. Then her voice lowered to a softer level. "When I saw your car blow up three years ago…I saw what I was so sure was your burnt and crumbled body, I could barely take the pain. When I was in Somalia, I thought about us, and what we had over our years together. I _remembered, _and started to think maybe your actions towards Michael had been what was best. I believed in my heart I would never see the team again. I did not think I would see anyone again, and day after day, during the torture I would start to think of you, and how horrible I felt about how we left things. When Saleem told me they were leaving without prisoners I was certain that was the end, and then I saw you sitting right there. The memories I had been living from were suddenly crystal clear, the good times as well as the bad. Nevertheless, if I had not been tied up and so weak I would have kissed you right then and there, just to prove you were there, in that dusty, dirty cell with me. I had never been gladder to see you in my life, and although I wanted you to be safe and escape, I was somehow at peace at the thought we would all die together, live as a team, and die as one, unbroken.  
"Losing you was just too hard, and I could never bear it now, after all that has been said. But the thing is, Tony, we risk being killed every day in the line of duty, and although I wouldn't give my job up for the world, I know that having such a dangerous career comes with a big cost. If you were killed…a part of me would die with you. But I wouldn't just lose a partner, this child would lose a father, and losing a relative so young is something no one deserves, I should know. I just feel like it is too much of a risk. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"I understand, Ziva," he whispered. "I just…can't believe this is happening."

"What we have is a fairy tale romance. They don't last long, and too much is at stake for us to take the risk. I wish it did not have to be this way, but I have learned, in these past few weeks, that there are some emotions so powerful they take over your sense of better judgement. I should not have let things get so deep, so quickly, and for that I am sorry."

"This was always a someday thing, I guess. Are we going to be OK? I mean, at work and stuff?"

"I think we will be alright, we have gotten over worse things. Maybe we just need some healing time."

Tony brushed a curly strand of hair from Ziva's face. "I'll always love you, Ziva."

For a split second, her heart leaped in hope he would kiss her, but he simply turned and left, closing the door behind him.

She still had very, very strong feelings for him, but she knew that for now, it was over.

…

"You wanted to see me, Director Vance?" Tony said, entering the Director's office the next morning.

"Yes, I have your orders," Leon replied, handing Tony a folder with a CONFIDENTIAL stamp on it.

"Orders?" he asked, confused.

"You've been ordered to transfer to LA for five months."

…

**A/N: Well….that's not how I expected that to turn out. Jeez, just when I start to get a plan together it goes COMPLETELY out the window. Seriously, it couldn't be any further from this. I **_**might **_**feature some of the LA team, but not a whole lot. I don't actually watch NCIS: LA. I'll update when I can, which will hopefully be Friday but if not then Sunday. **

**Please review. That was a pretty long chapter! But it did make me sad to write it…I've never written a Tiva breakup before.  
-superashy**


	19. Loved and Lost

**A/N: I'd like to respond to an anonymous review I was given for the previous chapter from "Jess". If you're reading this, I recommend you don't, because you really seem to hate this story. I appreciate constructive criticism and all, but what you said was definitely beyond constructive. If you sent this review please stop reading.**

**A super-special thank you to Helygret and Samisen for defending me :) I would have replied personally but you were both anonymous. **

…

_7 March 2011  
Washington D.C._

It had been eight weeks.

Eight long, slow weeks.

Eight weeks without Tony.

Day after day of endless piles of paperwork for poor Ziva, whom Vance had forbidden to work crime scenes from now on. It was alright when the team was there and she could help; contribute to the conversation, without being treated like a probie. But alone, the emptiness was so much more confronting, it scared her to think she might be doing this for the next three months (at which time she would go on her scheduled maternity leave). But it _terrified _her to realise how awful she still felt about her breakup with Tony. Of course, it would probably always be awful in memory, but it seemed as if it never quite sank in.

But this was not like other times when they had been apart. They could very easily still communicate. Abby had pulled from the cupboard her cardboard Tony, complete with marker-drawn moustache, and had the number of days he had been gone. Now, it was 56. Tony still sent her postcards, even though it would be faster to email he knew Abby would love more than anything to have a new message from him in her mail every week. He occasionally spoke to McGee on the phone, and Gibbs he didn't really talk to, because of his…technological deficiency.

Ziva received emails, but they were _mindless. _There was nothing behind it, just words on a page. He was probably just trying to be polite after what had happened. They needed to maintain some sort of relationship, after all, he was coming back eventually.

Another of the mindless messages had graced her inbox on this spring morning.

**From: **DiNozzo, Anthony

**Subject: **Hello

_Hi Ziva,_

_Just writing to say hello._

_How are you? How is the team? _

_Work here is good. It's starting to warm up now that it's spring. _

_-Tony._

The weather.

He was really talking to her about the weather? Had things gotten this bad?

She rested her head in her hands and groaned, rubbing her temples in little circles.

She just wanted the pain to go away.

…

Tony felt pretty awful too. That email had been completely wrong. He and Ziva shouldn't be talking about those kinds of things. They were the things you asked people you don't really know while you were waiting in the elevator.

What he had originally written was:

_Dear Ziva,_

_It's been a while since we talked, sorry for not keeping in touch. I'd say I've been busy but it's no busier than home. I guess I've just been a little nervous about this. If it's any consolation, I don't think I've stopped thinking about you since I got here. _

_I miss you so much. I hope you're safe and happy. _

_Any news about the baby? _

_-Tony_

Then, once he realised he let some of his feelings flow, had to let it all out.

_Dear Ziva,_

_I am so sorry for not emailing you this whole time, I feel awful. _

_I miss you more than you could imagine. I wish things between us hadn't had to end. I still love you, so much. But I know you're going to be a great mom all by yourself. You're strong, and independent_

_All my love,_

_Tony_

But that message was quickly erased. He couldn't say that to her. She didn't need another load on her shoulders. So, he simply settled for the mindless message. It was far safer that way.

…

McGee looked across the bullpen as he arrived for work. Ziva's head was in her hands and Gibbs was nowhere to be seen.

"Ziva, you OK?" he asked in a friendly, caring way.

The Israeli lifted her head tiredly and moaned.

"It's not Tony, is it?" McGee further questioned, concerned for his friend. "This long-distance thing isn't getting too hard?"

Ziva sighed. The team did not know about the breakup. They had planned to tell them together, her and Tony, but they had not had the chance.

"We broke up," she explained, interlocking her fingers. "Eight weeks ago."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" the young man asked. He then lowered his voice. "What happened?"

"I told him that, as my partner—_boyfriend, _and a father, I did not want to risk our feelings getting too deep that, if I lost him…"

McGee paused thoughtfully, observing that Ziva was still hurting a lot over this. "Maybe it would be better to have loved and lost, you know."

Ziva frowned. "Why are you so concerned?"

"You, and Tony are my friends. I care about you both and want you to be happy. At least now I know why you've been so miserable lately, but I really thought things with you guys would work out. I mean, I've always thought that. You've flirted with each other for years, there was always something more behind it. Where do you think I got the idea for Tommy and Lisa's romance in Deep Six?"

"You really thought we were going to get together, back then?" she asked, a small smile creeping its way onto her lips.

"Yeah," McGee admitted. "I think you should get back together."

"It is not that simple—" she began to say.

"Do you still love him?" he interrupted.

Ziva huffed. "Of course, but—"

"And he still loves you, I know he does. People die every day, Ziva. We see that in our jobs. They're sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, friends…and people grieve for them. But you can't give up what could be the most fulfilling relationship you ever had just because you're afraid."

"I am not afraid!" she denied.

"You are. You're afraid of committing to this relationship because, you know if you mess things up there will be terrible consequences."

Ziva's usually brown eyes seemed a cold, dark black at the moment. He was right, and she knew it.

"I have to get to LA," she said.

"The only place you're goin', David, is MTAC," Gibbs said from the top of the stairs. "McGee, you too."

"What's going on, Boss?" McGee asked.

"Got three dead Petty Officers, one in D.C., two in LA. All three shot three times in the chest with the same type of gun. We're going to talk to Callen's team. DiNozzo too."

Both hurried up the stairs into MTAC, where the faces of Callen and his team (including Tony) appeared on the screen.

Sam started talking about the case but Ziva wasn't listening. Neither was Tony. They were far too fixated on the other to even pay a little attention to their work.

She needed to see him.

…

That Friday night, Ziva took a flight up to LA. McGee had kindly found Tony's new address for her, and everything would hopefully go according to plan. But her stomach was still churning. What if he didn't want her?

_This is ridiculous, _she told herself. _You will never find out if you do not face him._

And with deft lock-picking skills, she entered his apartment and quietly waited for him to come home. She was not there long, before she heard a key enter the lock and the door creaked as it opened.

And there he was.

**A/N: I had planned to make this longer, but I hadn't updated in a while so I thought I'd give you this. Please review!**


	20. Forgiveness

**A/N: Chapter 20! Can you believe that? Chapter 19 made it to 199 reviews; let's get past 200 for this one! I'm amazed that this story has made it so far but I only have you guys to thank for that. You're all such dedicated, wonderful readers and I so much appreciate your support. I love to write but it's even better when you know there are people out there who love it too. **

**Anyway, before I get too sappy, here is your 20****th**** chapter!**

It was like Ziva had lost all control.

She was in a place—a position—in which she had not been before.

And all she could see now was him.

Her heart raced as her chocolate orbs took him in, for only a second before he jumped in surprise at the unexpected figure in his living room.

"Holy sh—Jeez!" he yelled. "Something wrong with your cell phone?"

"Hello, Tony," she asked, trying very hard to sound calm, something she certainly was not at the moment.

"Hi," he replied, brows scrunching together in a frown. "I take it you're not here on business?"

"Why would you say that?"

"Well," he said, looking around him. "Ya kinda broke into my apartment."

She sighed. "I suppose it would depend on what kind of business you are talking about."

"What kind of business is it?" Tony asked.

"Personal."

His face suddenly wore a look of concern. "What is it? Are you OK? Is it the baby?"

She almost laughed at how much he obviously cared, but she was determined for things not to get too emotional, but she could feel that they would. "No, it's not the baby; however, I would not say I am _OK_"_._

"What's wrong?" He was becoming worried. What was so wrong that she had to fly up to LA to tell him in person?

There was a crack in her voice, and she had to speak softly to avoid him hearing it. "I have come to realise, in these past few weeks that _fear _is no reason to give up the best thing that has ever happened to me. The love that I know we shared, Tony…I have never felt that way. There is something about you that I know only you can give me, and I have been miserable without it."

"Are you saying you want to get back together?" he tried to clarify before his hopes soared to high.

"I love you, Tony DiNozzo, and I want to be yours. Please." The last word was barely audible as tears began to well in her eyes.

There were no words to describe what Tony felt right now.

And the time between when she finished talking and their lips touched was nothing but a hazy memory.

Because this kiss was like none other.

He had never wanted to kiss someone as much as Ziva right now. Under different circumstances, things probably would have progressed by now, but they were enjoying the taste of the other's lips too much to move anywhere else.

After a while the shock of Ziva being here truly started to fade into utter pleasure, yet his mind was able to wander.

He had been hoping so much to see Ziva soon. Being away from here, and not together had been a terrible strain on him. This was the woman he had seen almost every day for five years (not including the terrible times they were apart). This was the woman he had fallen completely and deeply in love with, and now they both knew what a mistake parting ways had been.

Finally his playboy personality got the better of him and his hands began to explore her body, as did hers. He planted kisses down her neck and collarbone, and she slowly began to free the buttons of his shirt. Her fingers were cold on his warm flesh but he didn't mind.

More clothing pooled around their ankles and was quickly kicked way in a flush of burning desire. There was no fear of exposure. Tony was one of the few people in this world she felt truly, wholly safe with. There was no danger with him, no chance of pain now.

As his hands roamed over her back, she winced as his fingers found the scars Saleem had given her in Somalia. It didn't hurt—they had long since healed, but she still had the nightmares, and she still remembered the pain she had felt then. The flames that licked at her torn and bleeding flesh as his knife sliced through her once perfect skin. The aching that her wrists felt from being constantly bound. The heartache that came with knowing she would never be found. She would never be saved from this prison she had sent herself into.

"It's alright," he whispered to her. "I won't hurt you, Ziva."

She melted into his hands, willing them to continue on their path.

Before long, they had made love.

It wasn't for the first time, but it had meant the most.

Tony had known what he would do when he saw Ziva again.

They held each other tight and he moved his lips to her ear. She was panting and the movement made her heart race even more.

But the words he spoke, simple and few, made her freeze in shock and her blood run cold.

"Marry me."

…

**A/N: I had to go there. I hope you thought it was the right decision, I did. Don't worry, I won't go overboard and hold a ridiculously OOC wedding where everyone they know is invited. It's fun to write but it has no place in this story. Also, before I go, a special thanks to Princess Charley for being so nice!**

**I'll update soon, probably Friday at the earliest, but we'll see. It depends on how many reviews you guys give me! (I know this was really short but I did update pretty fast…maybe you could forgive me for not wanting to be too graphic? :)**


	21. Puzzle Pieces

**A/N: Hi, guys! So, most of you seemed to be on board with the proposal, which I am very glad about. So here is a new chapter!  
**

Ziva felt rigid.

He hadn't actually just said that, had he?

Had he?

"What?" That was all she seemed to be able to say. She sat up, wrapping Tony's sheets around her body. The bed, to which they had occupied some time ago, now felt icy cold on her exposed skin.

Tony reached into the drawer on the side of his bed and pulled out a small, velvet box. Ziva's eyes widened.

He did say it.

"Ziva, I love you," Tony said softly. "You are the most amazing and special woman I have ever met. You're my Miss Right and, well, I want you to be my Mrs Right."

The cold melted away instantly when she realised:

_I have wanted this for so long._

It's ironic that time in the land of the free would make careless, reckless Ziva want to commit to someone, but irony was the furthest thing from her mind right now. It made her further fear the reason she had broken up with him, but she loved Tony. She would not think twice about the choice to spend the rest of their lives together, there was no question that it was what she wanted. And it gave her hope, and reassurance, that while they were apart, they were all that was on each other's minds.

Lightly, she placed a gentle hand on his cheek and touched his lips with hers.

"I'll take that as a yes?" he asked through kisses.

"Does a bear sit in the woods?"

He grinned against her kiss and slipped the sparkling diamond ring onto his new fiancé's finger.

…

Ziva had arrived at Tony's at 1700 that afternoon. Tony had come home at 1730. Now, it was eight o'clock and they were engaged.

"I want to come to D.C. with you, and tell the team," Tony said.

Ziva agreed and within seconds he was on the phone to Callen about to make up an excuse for sick leave.

"_Tony," _he answered. _"I was just about to call you, I've got news."_

"What?" Tony asked. "What news?"

"_The Director's assigned a new agent to our team—she's spoken to Vance, and you're free to go home and start back in Washington on Monday."_

A wide grin spread across Tony's face. "That's great! I've enjoyed working with you."

"_You too, DiNozzo. Say hello to your boss for me."_

Tony snapped his phone shut. "They got a new agent assigned to their team. They don't need me anymore!"

"You're coming back to D.C.?" Ziva asked excitedly.

"DiNozzo's back!"

…

It was early Monday morning when Abby sauntered into her lab, sipping her first Caf-Pow of the day. Glancing over to the poster on the wall to the left of her with pictures of Tony, she noted that it was a new day, and the day count would be higher. She ripped off yesterday's note and replaced it with a fresh one that said "63" in pink marker.

She sighed and began to fire up her machines for the day, and the gentle sounds of engines humming filled the lab. One of her computers had been left on for a DNA search on their current case but had come up negative. She was not looking forward to telling Gibbs that fact, especially at—she glanced at her wristwatch—six thirty in the morning.

She heard the distinct ding of the elevator outside.

_Right on cue, _she thought. And just as well, they needed to have a talk about this situation with Tony. After what McGee had told her about them breaking up and Ziva going after him, she believed the best thing for their relationship would be together again—at the same place.

"Gibbs!" she said impatiently. "_Look _at that!" she pointed to her poster.

"What about it, Abs?" he asked.

"It's been sixty-three days, Gibbs. Sixty-three days since Tony's been in LA. That's one thousand, five hundred and twelve hours. That's ninety thousand, seven hundred and twenty minutes. Five million—"

"Abby!" he snapped. "This goin' somewhere?"

"Where it's going is, you didn't even try to get him back, even when you _knew _what had happened between him and Ziva the night before."

"_What _happened between him and Ziver the night before, Abby?" he enquired.

Abby frowned. "You didn't know? Wow, there's a first. Anyway, sixty-three days is far too long to wait, and you let Ziva snap on her own, and she's gone to LA to try and make up."

"They broke up? Then what happened?"

"Well, I don't know, Ziva's coming back today. I didn't wanna call her in case it went badly and she was upset."

"Oh believe me," said a voice. "It went wonderfully."

"Ziva!" Abby cried happily, running over to hug her friend. "What happened? Tell me everything!"

"I think you'll need me to get the whole story," came another, deeper voice.

"Tony!" she squealed, engulfing him in an even more powerful hug than she had given Ziva.

"Abby…can't…breathe…" he wheezed, and she released.

"Gibbs," he greeted his boss with a nod.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs replied with a sliver of a smile. "Wasn't expecting ya back so soon. Been kinda quiet around here."

And with that, he left the lab, seeing on Abby's monitor that the DNA test came up negative.

"Why do I get the feeling that telling _him _is going to be incredibly difficult?" Ziva murmured to Tony.

"Tell him what?" Abby asked, quick as a fox, bouncing up and down on the spot like a five year old that had just eaten an entire packet of Pixie Sticks.

The couple smiled at one another and Ziva held up her left hand. Abby let out a squeal, wrapping her arms tightly around both of them. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!" she screamed. "This is amazing! Congratulations!"

"Thanks," Tony said, smiling like crazy.

No one heard the elevator doors open again, and as Tony watched Abby admiring Ziva's ring he heard footsteps behind him.

It was Gibbs.

Tony quickly stepped into the hallway to talk in private with his boss.

"When did ya pop the question, DiNozzo?" he asked, his expression blank.

"Look, Gibbs," Tony began to say, emphasising this was important by using his name as he very rarely did. "I know you've had some bad experiences with marriage, but"—he looked over his shoulder, through a crack in the door where he could see the two women talking excitedly—"I love Ziva and I'm not getting any younger. We're getting married and there isn't anything you can say—"

Gibbs rested a warm hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Treat her right, got it?"

A smile tugged at Tony's lips. "Got it, Boss," he replied.

"I know you will, Tony. It's good to have you back."

"Good to be back."

…

It rained that night.

But by nine, the team were still in the squad room, having a campfire over pizza. Tony hadn't missed the little looks between Tim and Ziva when they'd told him the news, Abby in tow just to see his reaction. The Senior Field Agent couldn't help but believe he had something to do with Ziva's sudden motivation to see him on Friday. And for that he could only thank the man.

He had Ziva, he was back home and the team were one again.

But he knew it wouldn't last long. After all, it never did.

**A/N: I just have one thing to say: today I was hit was what I think might be one of the strangest and best ideas ever and I thought it would be perfect for this story. But I must warn you, a lot of you will probably think I am terrible but honestly, until today I wasn't sure what I was going to do with this story. There will be drama! Please review :)**


	22. Target

**A/N: I hope you like these next few chapters, I was taking way too long, I know. I knew what I wanted them to say but I was just stuck somehow. Anyway, I knew I wouldn't get much else done quick enough so I decided to just give you this. The end will come soon.**

_March 16, 2011  
5:00pm_

There must have been at least a dozen men.

And they all had weapons. Every last one of them.

And somewhere, in this place was the one they had taken.

Abby.

It was hardly fair, the poor girl had been taken hostage far too many times in her life, usually so someone could get to Gibbs. And it always, always worked.

"Abby! Abby!" McGee cried, his calls echoing off the walls of the huge, seemingly empty building. He held up his weapon as he travelled round corners with no difficulty, until…

"Don't move!" screamed an unfamiliar voice. It was a man who had Abby.

He was holding a gun to her head, and it was loaded. Six men were behind him and each of them was heavily armed.

He was trapped.

…

"Ziva, move!" Tony yelled, pushing her out of the way and behind a dumpster in a nearby alleyway just before a shooter up a level pulled the trigger. They heard screaming from inside and immediately made their way into the building, guns at the ready.

They came in through the back door, quietly enough to assess the extremely dangerous situation before them. There were six men pointing guns at McGee and one holding a weapon to Abby's skull.

"Well, well, men," said the one holding Abby. "It appears we have some new visitors."

They all turned and saw Tony and Ziva, the new targets, and their 'leader' let out a whistle.

Six more men, raced into the building from side entrances.

Where was Gibbs?

…

_24 Hours Earlier  
March 15, 2011  
Midday_

On the team's current case, bodies were piling up quickly, and a connection was starting to form.

There were seven men dead now. Two had been in LA, five now in D.C. All of them were gunnery sergeants.

But that was not the only connection that had been found.

"Oh my God," McGee said under his breath, jumping up from his desk and putting the victims' pictures on the plasma, earning a strange look from Tony and Ziva, who were sitting at their respective desks.

"Oh my God," he repeated, louder this time, scrambling for a pen and paper. He quickly jotted down the names of the victims in chronological order of their death.

Liam Henderson

James Guilder

George Marks

Ian Sanders

Bradley Peters

Brian Watts

Samuel Turner

"This is bad, this is really, really bad," McGee said worriedly.

"OK, McAgent, what's got your pants in a twist?" Tony asked with a frown.

"They're trying to get to Gibbs, look!" the young agent said.

McGee handed Tony the list. "All I see are the victims' names, McGee. Aside from the fact that whoever did this is killing United States Marines, all of them happening to be gunnery sergeants, I don't see how this is supposed to get to Gibbs," Tony said.

He snatched the list back, retracing a few things on it to make them stand out. "Now do you see it?"

Tony saw it now.

**L**iam Henderson

**J**ames Guilders

**G**eorge Marks

**I**an Sanders

**B**radley Peters

**B**rian Watts

**S**amuel Turner

LJ Gibbs. Leroy Jethro Gibbs. McGee was right; they _were _trying to get to Gibbs.

"Where's Gibbs?" Ziva asked, knowing they had to tell him.

…

"Whataya got, Abs?" Gibbs asked in his usual way, handing her a fresh Caf-Pow.

"Good question," Abby replied. "I have information! I finally got DNA results for the prints we found at all the crime scenes, and they belong to a bunch of different men but they all have criminal records, all own weapons and all received dishonourable discharge from the Navy." She nodded smugly.

"Good work, Abs," Gibbs said, hastily kissing her on the cheek, in a hurry to spread the information to his team.

"Wait, Gibbs!" she called. "They all received dishonourable discharge except…" She hit a few keys and a driver's license popped up on the screen, "The leader, Judd Mason. He was never in the Navy."

"Brother of Christopher Mason?" Gibbs clarified.

"Yup. His DNA was found at _all _the crime scenes. The rest were groups of about five or six, but all in all there were twelve different sets of prints. You know what that means."

Gibbs nodded. "We're looking for a group."

…

That night when she left the navy yard, Abby felt a little disheartened that they hadn't actually found where the killers were hiding, but there was always tomorrow. She hated seeing Gibbs so grumpy, but she was thankful he was nice to her most of the time, as opposed to McGee and Tony.

With a yawn (she hadn't had a Caf-Pow since 1400), she slipped into her car and drove homeward, looking forward to a peaceful night's sleep.

Judd Mason smiled evilly as he saw Abby's car pull out of the navy yard's main gate. The first step of his plan was almost complete.

As Abby slept peacefully that night, he waited in the parking lot for her.

…

_March 16, 2011  
6:00am_

Abby struggled fiercely when she felt a hairy, smelly man grab her roughly, in the doorway of her apartment. She fought as hard as she could, although that wasn't as hard as usual because it was so early in the morning, but she still fought. That was, until she felt the barrel of a gun press against her temple.

"I wouldn't bother trying to escape, Abigail," the man said, his breath reeking of garlic and tooth decay. His skin was prickly and sweaty.

"W-What do you want?" Abby asked shakily.

He sighed exasperatedly, but his tight grip on the Goth did not loosen. "You could make this a little more interesting, you know, ask a few different questions than the usual…but I digress. You know who I am, don't you?"

She grunted under his grip. "You're Judd Mason."

"That's right," he replied in a sickly tone. "My baby brother got put in the slammer because of your boss, and now I'm going to get revenge. I know Agent Gibbs will stop at nothing to save you, isn't that right?"

"What makes you think he can't take you? You're just one guy."

"Yes, but I'm not alone. I've got perfectly adequate backup."

That fact terrified Abby, but she wasn't going to show it. "Well, just one more question then—how do you expect Gibbs to know you have me?"

"Oh, believe me, Abigail, he will know. But now, you're going to give me your cell phone."

Abby trembled as she pulled her cell out of her pocket.

"Drop it on the floor," he ordered. She obliged and he trampled it furiously in the work boots he was wearing. There was no getting out of this.

…

_7:00am  
NCIS _

"Well, Mr Palmer," Ducky said, having just prepared himself for autopsy. "Who are we seeing today?"

Jimmy peered at his clipboard. "Gunnery Sergeant Samuel Turner," he replied. "Thirty-five years old, married, no children."

"Right, then, let's get…" Ducky trailed off, squinting at something on the victim's shoulder.

"Is something wrong, Doctor?" Jimmy enquired.

"There appears to be something carved into the back of his left shoulder blade. Help me turn him over, will you? There's a good lad."

Jimmy set down his clipboard and, with some difficulty, turned the victim onto his stomach. They could now see the cut spread across his entire back.

"It was done with much precision," Ducky commented. "With a sharp knife, and post mortem. There is a clear lack of blood loss."

"What does it mean?" Jimmy asked.

Both stared at the carving. "I believe it is Hebrew, Mr Palmer. However, since I am not fluent, we must call someone who is."

"Shall I see if Ziva is in yet?"

Ducky nodded.

Jimmy dialled Ziva's desk and heard two rings before there was an answer.

"_Probationary Agent Ziva David's desk, this is Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo speaking, how may I direct your call?" _Tony answered in a goofy tone, followed by a distinct "Hey!" from Ziva in the background.

"Tony, it's Jimmy," said Jimmy. "Can you send Ziva down here? We need her help."

"_You got it," _Tony replied, hanging up the phone.

"Ducky wants you down in autopsy," Tony informed his fiancé, smiling at her.

The Israeli arrived in autopsy a few minutes later, Tony in tow as he was far too nosy.

"What is it you needed my help with, Ducky?" she asked.

"This," Ducky replied, pointing to the large carving. "We thought perhaps you could translate for us?"

Ziva chewed her lip. "It is done well, for something carved into skin," she commented. "Whoever did this was obviously fluent. At a rough translation…" she copied the Hebrew then re-wrote it in English. "That should be about right."

She handed Ducky the piece of paper, which said:

גיבס, אנחנו ניקח את אחד האהוב

Listen

Read phonetically

Dictionary - View detailed dictionary

**noun **

מנהיג

ראש

מדריך

מנצח

נגיד

דבר

מורה דרך

נגן ראשי

מאמר ראשי

_Gibbs, we will take your beloved one._

"Who is Gibbs' most beloved?" Tony wondered aloud.

Ziva looked at Tony alarmingly.

"Abby," they both said.

…

Within fifteen minutes the entire team was assembled and desperately searching for traces of Abby. Gibbs and Tony had gone to her apartment to search for any kind of evidence, and McGee and Ziva stayed back, with BOLOs on Abby and Judd Mason, who was easily their first suspect. McGee was checking every two minutes if her cell phone was on, and each time slammed the desk when it was off.

"It might just be out of battery, McGee," Ziva said, lying through her teeth and they both knew it. "Where was the phone's last location before it was switched off?"

"Her apartment," he answered worriedly. "I just know this isn't gonna end well."

"McGee, how many times have we rescued Abby?"

"I know, I know, it's just…Mason seems really hell bent on revenge against Gibbs."

Ziva sighed. McGee was right.

…  
_March 15, 2011  
8:30am_

"No signs of a struggle," Tony commented upon arrival at Abby's apartment.

"He could've just grabbed her," Gibbs replied. "Look at this."

He pointed to the cream-coloured door frame, which had a large black scuff mark on it. "She fought alright."

"Well, there's no blood," Tony said, stating the obvious. "Wherever she is, she must be OK, he's using her for negotiations, right?"

Gibbs didn't answer. He spotted a video camera on the coffee table and picked it up.

"Any video, Boss?" Tony asked, peering over Gibbs' shoulder.

"Shut up," Gibbs grunted in reply, as a picture began to appear on the screen.

_That's Mason, _Tony thought, but he felt no need to vocalise that as Gibbs probably already knew it.

In the video, Mason held a gun to Abby.

"_Hello, Agent_ _Gibbs,"_ Judd said. _"I assume you know who I am. You put my brother in prison. All I ask is that you release him, and Abigail will be returned to you safely. You have until sunset. After that, I will have no choice but to pull the trigger on this weapon."_

Then the screen went dark.

There was a fight coming.

**A/N: there you have it…if I had finished that in one chapter it would have been ridiculously long. Anyway, hoped you liked my update, with a bit more case stuff in it. I will try to write some more soon. Reviews would be wonderful, thanks guys!**

**And hey, celebrate, because we got to 223! AMAZING!**


	23. Save Me

The team were working furiously to find Mason and Abby's location. Tony was still at Abby's building interviewing neighbours for witnesses, Ziva was still keeping tabs on the thirteen men (including Mason) McGee was doing his best to get something—a geographical feature of some description, as they had done on cases of the past—on the video.

"The time stamp shows it was taken at 6:15am this morning," McGee said.

Although it was new information, Gibbs seemed no more informed. He growled furiously, smacking the desk with his palm. "What time does the sun set?" he demanded.

"6:37pm," Ziva answered, staring at her computer screen. Gibbs looked at his watch.

"We have less than two hours, and we've got nothing!" he raged.

"We're trying, Boss—" McGee tried to say.

"Try harder, McGee! It's Abby!" Gibbs' face was flushed bright red with anger.

Now was not the time to remind Gibbs of the pledge of respect, Tim decided, and he got back to work.

"Damn it!" the grey-haired man screamed, grabbing his backpack.

"Are we going somewhere?" McGee enquired.

"Mason wants us to find him, and he wants his brother released. He'll go to the last place he was a free man," Ziva explained, catching on.

"Gold star," Gibbs said. "Call DiNozzo, have him meet us there."

"No need, Boss, I'm here," Tony said, stepping out of the elevator. "None of the neighbours saw anything, and I interviewed the _entire floor._" He took a breath, dumping his own backpack beside his desk. "Where we going?"

"We're going to the warehouse where Christopher Mason held us hostage," Ziva informed him, matter-of-factly.

"Good times," Tony said sarcastically, picking his pack up again.

"_We're _going," Gibbs said to Ziva. "You're staying here."

"Gibbs! This is Abby we are talking about, not just another victim," Ziva said.

"Please don't say 'victim'," Tim said uneasily.

"Ziva, if I send you out into the field, I'm putting two lives at stake, not just one."

"Take me with you," she said stubbornly. "There is a lot of danger, you can use every man you have."

"You're only as strong as your weakest link," Gibbs countered.

"Which right now looks like McFraidy-Cat over there," Tony said, looking at McGee.

Gibbs sighed, walking over to his desk, opening the drawer and retrieving the keys to the car. He tossed them across the bullpen, into Ziva's waiting hands. She looked up, hopeful.

"You're driving," said Gibbs.

…

Judd Mason glanced sceptically at his Rolex and clicked his tongue at Abby.

"I don't think they're coming, Abigail," he said, in a pure attempt to mess with her head. "They would have found you by now, wouldn't they?"

Abby (in a rare way) kept her mouth shut. She was tied to a chair in the middle of a large, empty warehouse.

"Tut, tut, Abigail, you know I don't like it when you ignore me," he said, slapping her face. She gasped in pain. "They'll be here," she muttered.

"Good," he replied, fingering the barrel of his shotgun. "I would hate to see a life as valuable as yours go to waste."

_I'd like you to go to waste, _Abby thought with hatred running through her veins.

…

"Do we have a plan?" Ziva asked, not taking her eyes off the road.

"Of course we have a plan, we always have a plan," Tony answered quickly for Gibbs, and then looked at the ex-Marine. "We do have a plan, don't we, Boss?"

Gibbs just looked at his Senior Field Agent.

"I don't know what options we really have," McGee said, followed by a "whoa" as Ziva turned a sharp corner. "There are thirteen of them; Mason probably has all of them as backup, armed. There are four of us. Even if we had you sniping, Boss, there's no guarantee they wouldn't shoot at us when someone goes down."

"McGee's right," Tony agreed, his knuckles going white on the handle of the car, which he was clutching very, very tightly. "We might just have to negotiate."

"There's always a way, DiNozzo."

…

And here they were.

Mason had Abby and his men on one side.

McGee, Ziva and Tony were on the other.

"I see you brought your weapons," Mason scoffed, the sweat beads on his forehead becoming more prominent by the minute. "I suppose I can't blame you for following your protocol. Still, it would be bad judgement to even try to take a shot. We outnumber you."

The team were still, they said nothing. The only movement was McGee's eyes quickly looking into Abby's, quickly checking she was more or less alright.

"Your boss better show," Judd warned. "Or it will be the end of Abigail…"

"No!" McGee called, out of pure defence for Abby. Gibbs was nowhere to be seen; they had to make a call. "What I mean is, we're prepared to negotiate with you, if you give us what we want."

"And what is that?"

"Miss Sciuto's freedom," Ziva supplied. "First and foremost."

"Second," Tony added. "Order your men to stand down."

He scoffed. "And let you shoot me? Do you think I am stupid, Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony didn't answer. He hated this guy almost as much as his brother Christopher.

"I want to speak with Agent Gibbs," Judd demanded. "Where is he?"

"Honestly, I dunno," Tony shrugged.

Mason pointed to four men. "Find Gibbs! He is on the property; bring him to me _alive._"

From outside they all heard gunshots. Another three ran outside and found the bodies of their partners littered on the concrete, before a searing pain ripped through their bodies.

"Seven down, six to go_,_" Gibbs said to himself from his high perch in the upper storey of the building, where he held his sniper rifle in place. Now he moved stealthily around a balcony and circled the edge of the floor where everyone still alive now stood. Six gunmen, Abby, Mason and his team.

"Hey!" he heard someone shout, and Gibbs looked to his left, to find two strong men coming towards him, grabbing him by the arms and pulling him towards a flight of stairs. Gibbs was a very powerful man, but both these guys were half his age and twice as big. He had no chance and felt horribly ashamed of himself for being caught.

"Well, Agent Gibbs, nice of you to finally join us," Judd said when he got downstairs. "Too bad the sun has already set."

The noise of gunfire filled the air, and large cracking sounds echoed off the far walls of the cursed warehouse. He couldn't see much, he didn't have time, but he knew he saw bodies collapsing all around him, and as he pulled the trigger on Mason's last man, a bullet hit him in the chest. He was wearing a vest, so it wasn't a kill shot, but it was enough to knock him to the ground.

A second later, came the overwhelming sound of silence.

"Abby!" he heard McGee cry groggily. "Abby!"

"Timmy!" The familiar voice rang brightly in his ear. She was OK.

The Goth enveloped him in a hug. She was splattered with blood.

_Blood?_

He looked to their left.

Mason was dead, blood pooling faster every second.

In synchronisation, the pair's eyes wandered behind them, to where Tony lay on the ground, Ziva kneeling over him.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, with a small smile.

He coughed. "You're not coming back into the field again," he said with some difficulty, sitting up slowly and rubbing his temples.

Ziva planted a quick kiss to his lips, and they both smiled.

McGee smiled too, happy for his friends, but that happiness immediately melted away when he felt Abby tense up in his arms.

"Abs, what is it?" he asked frantically.

Shakily, she lifted her arm, pointing to something amid the pile of bodies.

_No._

_NO!_

_It couldn't be._

McGee bolted over to Gibbs. He lay still, in a pool of scarlet blood, pooling around him, staining the dirty warehouse ground.

"Boss? Boss, can you hear me?" he asked loudly, the worry very clear in his voice. Tony and Ziva heard him speaking and looked over and the both froze with a sharp intake of breath.

"Boss, come on, Boss," McGee said, applying pressure to the wound in his chest. The younger agent pulled off Gibbs' jacket. Why hadn't he been wearing a vest?

Desperately, he felt for a pulse, and when there was none, he gave Gibbs all the air in his lungs.

But it still wasn't enough.

Tony and Ziva took slow, careful steps towards Abby, whose face was wet with run mascara and tears.

"He is gone, McGee," Ziva said, her voice sounding like she was holding back a lot of tears. The other three moved up to join the blood-covered Probie.

The sun shone a dim golden through a dirty window, and it lit up the room. Gibbs' blue eyes sparkled for the last time.

Bravely, Tony squeezed Ziva's hand. Ziva took Abby's and Abby intertwined her fingers with Tim's. They stood there, as one, until darkness was upon them, and had blanketed D.C. with its depressing loom.

"We should…we should say something," Tony suggested quietly. "The things we wanted to say to him all along but never did."

No one made a move.

"I'll go first," he whispered.

Tony released his gentle grip on Ziva and Abby's hand. Both women felt cold, empty space where he had been standing. His footsteps were the only sound upon the floor as he took slow paces towards Gibbs.

He gulped. "Boss—Gibbs," he said, already feeling a lump in his throat. "On more than one occasion, you got to meet the father I have despised for so long. When my mom died, I thought that it would make our relationship stronger, that we would be close, but we just got further apart. I felt like a lost cause, and did until you took me under your wing here at NCIS. You made me aspire to something, you challenged me to do my best, and I wanted you to be proud of me. Once, Ducky said to me that you used to be a lot like me. I would've really liked to know you back then, but it was an honour knowing you now. You're the father I have always wanted."

He took careful steps back towards his co-workers and looked at McGee.

"I-I can't," he stammered. "I can't do it, Tony."

Tony nodded understandingly. "Abs?"

Abby was quiet as a mouse, even in her gigantic black shoes, as she approached Gibbs' body. She knelt beside him and squeezed his hand, feeling his rough fingers.

"I love you, Gibbs," she said, and you could tell it came straight from her heart. Her voice was croaky and high from tears but you couldn't miss the sincerity if you tried. "You're like a father, and a best friend. I'll never, ever forget you, never, ever, ever."

She ran a hand through his silver hair and tried to remember the good times. The feeling of his lips pressed against her cheek in a quick kiss, the smile that came to his face whenever she was around. She remembered how scared she had been when she heard he had been in an explosion, and how devastated she had felt when he left for Mexico.

This was a million times worse.

She heard footsteps behind her and felt Ziva's hand on her shoulder. Politely, Abby stepped back, letting the Israeli have her moment with Gibbs.

_I wonder what she's going to say, _Tony thought.

She didn't say anything.

She began to sing.

Her beautiful voice rang out through the silence as the twilight faded into blackness, and her intricate Hebrew phrases made them all believe this was something very special.

"Toda, Abba," she whispered, repeating the words she had said to him when he was in the hospital. She shut her eyes, letting a single tear fall onto his already pale skin. "Goodbye, Jethro."

…

**A/N: Please don't hate me! This has a point, I promise. I will update when I can. Please review, but if you hated it please, no flames. I just want to say, I had fun writing this. It was different. But of course, I am sad now. **

**Oh, yeah, and I found a spoiler today on tumblr. Don't wanna know, don't read, but it's below in **_**italics.**_

_**According to an interview with Cote de Pablo, episode 8x20 will include both the return of EJ, the introduction of Ray and a bunch of other juicy things. She says there will be a 'romantic dinner' involved, and there will be kissing (Ziva/Ray). You get to see a whole new side of Ziva, which personally I think will be great. There is a lot about Ziva we don't know, although that is one of the things that makes Ziva-based fanfiction interesting. As well as this, there will be a scene in which Tony and Ray have a 'talk' in the bathroom, so I can't wait to see how that goes down, and finally, Ziva and Ray have a blowout, because he withholds details on the port-to-port killer (a serial killer that EJ is leading the investigation on). She has trust issues, so it will be great to see that come out, but not at Tony this time. The season is nearing its end, with only a few more episodes to go until the end of the season (there will be 24 in total) let's hope we don't get left with too big a cliffhanger. They will return with season 9 (YAAAAYY!) in September (I think). This means, though, that if it returns on the first Tuesday in this month, we will have to go 15 WEEKS without a new NCIS. Thank goodness for or I don't know what I'd do. I think I need to take up a new show. **_


	24. Midnight

"Ziva," Tony whispered tiredly through the darkness.

Nothing.

"_Ziva,_" he said again, louder.

At the sound of her name, the Israeli jumped, and awoke from her slumber. Out of instinct she reached for the weapon that usually rested on her nightstand, but Tony had removed it for fear of his own safety. He didn't want to be shot in the middle of the night for sleep talking.

"Relax," he said gently, placing a hand on her forearm.

She was covered in sweat, and the sheets that covered her were tangled; Tony barely had any. Her throat felt dry and sore and her cheeks were wet with tears.

"What time is it?" she asked groggily.

"Three in the morning," he replied.

"Date?" she questioned further.

He was silent, a little puzzled.

"Date?" she repeated.

"Uh…March sixteenth," Tony said, frowning.

"Don't you mean seventeenth? I understand your confusion. It is the middle of the night and it's been a hard day…"

"No harder than usual," he said with a nervous chuckle, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "I don't know what we're gonna do about Judd Mason though."

"_Do _about him? Mason's dead! And so are all of his men!"

"Since when?" he asked, baffled.

"Yesterday!" she yelled. "Gibbs…"

Ziva reached for her cell, desperately dialling the number she had learnt off by heart.

"Ziva, I don't think…" Tony tried to say.

"Sh!" she snapped determinedly. She heard a groan from the other end of the line and her heart pumped.

"_The entire Marine Corps better have been murdered, Agent David…_"

She had never been happier to hear his voice.

"You're not dead!" she exclaimed.

"_Good investigative skills," _he muttered. "_Something you needed, Ziver?"_

A huge grin spread across her face. "Not anymore."

"What the hell was that about?" Tony asked, extremely confused.

"I…I guess it was a dream," she replied.

"A dream? Yeah, that's why I woke you. You were moving around so much I couldn't sleep, and then you started crying and screaming, and I got really worried. What happened?"

She sighed shakily. "I…I don't remember," she lied.

"Really? 'Cause if you didn't, I don't think you would have called Gibbs if you didn't."

Ziva gulped. "It was awful. Mason kidnapped Abby and took her to the warehouse where Christopher kept us prisoner. I forced Gibbs to let me come with you because I was desperate to be out in the field again and it was too important. It was Abby. We arrived and soon after there was a huge gunfight, we were all wearing vests and you got hit in the chest, but you were alright, and then we saw Gibbs…lying on the ground, blood everywhere."

A tear rolled down her hot cheek, and he wiped it away.

"Hey, it's OK, it was just a dream," he said reassuringly. "Gibbs is alive, a little pissed at you, but alive. It's perfectly normal to have nightmares when you're pregnant."

"It was more than that," she said quietly. "I know Gibbs is the oldest on the team and very healthy, but he won't be around forever. He'll have to retire someday, or he could…be killed. I want his memory to live on."

"Ziva, I don't think anyone's gonna forget Gibbs—"

"No. I know what I want to name the baby."

He looked up at her, expectantly.

"If it is a boy," she said. "Leroy Jackson. If it is a girl, Kelly Jennifer."

He looked into her eyes. She was serious. He held her hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

"Those are perfect names," he said, and kissed her tenderly.

There was a vibration from the nightstand. Ziva's cell phone.

"Gibbs," she answered, seeing the caller ID.

"_Ziver_," he replied. "_Meet me at the warehouse you and DiNozzo were kept hostage in. Bring 'eem_."

Her body froze. "Why?"

"_Local LEOs just called us. Judd Mason killed each and every one of his men, and then shot himself in the head. Guess he didn't have the guts_."

"I guess so," she replied. "I will see you there."

"_You've got an hour._"

Ziva explained the situation to Tony, and then said, "I'm going to take a shower."

"Can I join you?" he asked flirtatiously.

"I would say yes, but an hour is not nearly enough time."

"Hey!" he called when she turned her back to him.

She looked over her shoulder. "Yes?"

"Are you gonna tell Gibbs about the baby names?"

She shook her head. "Some things are better left as surprises."

Overall, the Israeli was happy. The Mason family was no longer a threat to her or the team (the third brother was happily married with four children and a sturdy job as a partner at a law firm, she did not believe he would sacrifice that), Gibbs was not dead, she was engaged to the man she had never expected to love but now did more than she could imagine, and she was twenty-one weeks pregnant.

As the hot water of the shower splashed over her bare body, she felt the dirt and danger and sadness of the past few months wash away. Afterwards, the pain was still somewhat there, but she felt like they were wounds that could finally start to heal.

And as always, make room for new ones.

**A/N: The last bit wasn't foreshadowing, it was just because Ziva always seems to get hurt, even when she doesn't deserve it. Anyway, I had so much fun writing what turned out to be Ziva's dream, and then making her all confused. I had planned it differently, but the most important things still made it in there. I'm thinking a lighter, Tiva chapter next, unless that changes (which I wouldn't put past me :D). Reviews?**


	25. Misunderstood

**A/N: Wow, can you believe it, guys? It was four months yesterday this story was first published. Happy four month anniversary!**

Oh, and also, I have decided to stop writing Symbol For Infinity, I just wasn't feeling the inspiration anymore. However, I may do something similar towards the end of the season.

_April 1__st__, 2011  
NCIS_

Another April Fool's Day had come and gone, and the MCRT had escaped virtually unscathed.

Virtually.

Tony had put superglue on McGee's chair.

It had taken both Ziva and Abby to free him, although not before Gibbs returned from his morning coffee run to see them both with scissors, cutting through the fabric of his (_very _expensive) pants, leaving him in tattered shorts, his pale legs on display.

"You're not really a shorts kinda guy, McGee," Tony said, not trying very hard to contain his amusement and sense of self-satisfaction.

"Shut it, DiNozzo," McGee snapped, _very _grumpy that his favourite pants were now ripped to shreds.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like that, I'm the boss!"

"You are _not _the boss, Tony," Ziva said, although she clearly thought the situation was hilarious.

"Do you see Gibbs around here?" he asked, pig-headedly.

She smirked. "No."

"Then that makes me he boss. Furthermore…" He trailed off and froze when a very clear scent drifted up his nostrils.

Coffee.

"It was Abby, Boss, I swear I didn't do anything!" he yelled, not daring to move in fear of a Gibbs-slap.

"You really should be careful who you blame for these things, DiNozzo," said the voice behind him.

It wasn't Gibbs. It was Vance.

"Director," Tony said, turning around. His face was an expression of both confusion and surprise. "See—uh, I was just…um…"

The two women laughed. "April Fools!" they said in unison.

Tony sneered. "At least I'm wearing pants."

"What did I tell you about the superglue, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, walking into the bullpen, smacking his head firmly.

"Sorry, Boss."

Tony had a sore head and was annoyed he had been beaten at his own game, but he knew this was one of his greatest pranks ever.

"You try to pull a prank on me and I _will _hurt you," Ziva warned.

"Got it. Ninja skills plus pregnancy hormones equals Scary Ziva," Tony replied.

…

_April 4__th__ 2011  
NCIS_

"If that phone rings one more time I'm going to shoot it," Ziva snapped, looking across the bullpen at Tony's phone.

"Why isn't Tony here anyway?" McGee asked, equally annoyed.

"The moving guys were _late_," she replied. "He had to wait for them to unload everything."

He smiled. "I can't believe you two bought a house."

"Well, every child needs a home, and an apartment just wasn't big enough," she said logically. "It should be interesting living with him."

"When are you due, anyway?" he asked curiously.

"Eight weeks," she said proudly. "And I have convinced Vance to let me work for another six. I am perfectly safe here if something happens."

"How much leave are you taking after you have the baby?"

"Nine weeks, if all goes to plan." He knew she meant 'as long as there is not something wrong with the baby', but she was its mother. She couldn't possibly try to talk of such things.

Tony's phone was still ringing.

"Look, why don't you just answer it, Ziva?" asked McGee exasperatedly. "You're his fiancé!"

"Fine," she sighed, getting up. "Special Agent DiNozzo's desk."

"_Ziva, is that you?_ _How are you? Where's Junior?"_

She grinned. It was none other than Anthony DiNozzo Sr.

"I'm fine, and, um, Tony's…not here. Would you like me to tell him to give you a call?"

"_Tell him I'm in town and wouldn't mind catching up. It's been months since we've spoken."_

"I thought you two were going to keep in touch?"

"_We were, but…we're both so stubborn. Like father, like son, I guess. Tell you what, why don't you tag along too? I wouldn't mind hearing what you've been up to lately, and Junior's always a lot more sociable when he's around you."_

She was just about to speak when Junior himself walked out of the elevator.

"What are you doing on my phone?" he asked.

"You know what," she said into the speaker. "He's just arrived."

Ziva removed the phone from her ear and covered the receiver. "It's your father," she whispered.

Tony groaned and held his hand out for the phone. She saw him write down an address and proceeded to talk to McGee.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"Tony's father is in town," she answered. "He wants to go out to dinner, with Tony _and _me."

"Well, he is gonna be a grandfather…sort of."

"Yes, but _he _doesn't know that," she confessed. "He and Tony have not spoken since last he was here. _I _did not even know I was pregnant then. I found out a few days after he left."

Tony hung up the phone. "Well, Ziva," he said, standing by her side. "Looks like we've got dinner reservations tonight.

…

_April 4__th__, 2011  
7:30pm  
David-DiNozzo Residence_

"I don't wanna do it, I don't wanna go," Tony murmured, pacing their new living room.

"Tony, this is ridiculous, he's your father," Ziva said, trying to help.

"Yeah, well he hasn't been very father-like, has he?"

"He is trying to be one now! He's a lovely person, just spend a little time with him, you'll see."

"He's nice to you because you're an attractive woman. That's how he is with all attractive women," he said.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," she commented.

"Do you think he was that nice to my mother?"

Ziva was silent. He had never spoken about his childhood like this.

"Do you think I didn't stand there, every night, outside the closed doors of my father's study, listening to my father's drunken rants, her screaming, and the sound of glass smashing? Do you think it was _nice _having to put the pillow over my head and hide under the covers and cry myself to sleep to drown out the sounds? Do you think it was _nice _having to pretend not to despise him every day? Do you think it was _nice _watching my father leave my mother's funeral a half hour in, with some hussy by his side, leaving me by myself to watch her body be lowered into the ground?"

She didn't dare move. She was terrified at how upset he was. She had never seen him like this.

"When he sent me away to boarding school, I didn't want to leave home, but I was glad to be away from him. I tried to just focus on my school. I didn't make many friends. After my mom died I was kinda antisocial. By the time I was fourteen or fifteen they were talking non-stop about girls and I never really said anything. One night they finally asked me and I looked at them. Most of them were bigger than me and I knew it would be easier to just go with it, so I made something up. Remember the story about fifteen-year-old Tony losing his virginity?"

She nodded feebly.

"Lie. I was twenty when I lost my virginity, at a frat party, and I was so drunk I don't even remember it. And you know why I could never hold down a woman? When my mom died I felt so guilty, so horrible. I didn't wanna feel like that again. It was easier if it was just one night. Besides, I never knew what kind of woman I wanted, and I never learned how to treat one just right. And now I'm…_this._"

He looked down at himself in disgust. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but without you I don't think I would have ever felt this way about someone."

Ziva's eyes were shiny with tears. She had never heard Tony's story told that way, and now that she had, she realised she had seen a whole new side of him. This heartbroken, torn, hurt little boy who only really wanted someone to love him, to acknowledge him. She had always suspected there was more to him than what his frat boy personality let on, but she never expected it to be this intense. It was like she had just seen the dark side of the moon. You have to see it for yourself to believe what's there.

"I don't think we earn our pleasures in life," she said softly. "If we did, then we wouldn't be together. But I don't think it was all luck, either. The best things come as a light in the world, when _our _world is dark. The best things come from a place of pain. If you are anything like your father then we know he must want to be sorry. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words. We should go, we should see him. Let him see how happy you make me, Tony. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

With one hand, she took his, and with the other, she stroked his cheek, kissing his lips softly.

"I love you," he whispered.

…

They ended up going, and allowed Senior to speak first, who talked about friends, colleagues, Tony's current stepmother and whatnot.

"But enough about me," he finally said. "What about you?"

Tony and Ziva shared a grin.

"Gee, Dad," Tony said, smiling widely. "Where do I start?"

**A/N: Slightly depressing, but it was great to explore Tony's character. I will update soon. Reviews?**


	26. Waiting

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, guys, I literally haven't had time. I've had two essays to write, an oral presentation, two maths tests to study for and a science test and a full-page speech written in Japanese to be memorised, as well as six hours of music rehearsals. But why am I complaining? I have two and a half weeks off now! Plenty of time to write! (note: this is also set slightly in the future, because I'm too impatient)**

_28__th__ May, 2011  
David-DiNozzo Residence_

Despite not having to go to work, Ziva refused to be lazy in the mornings, and usually woke up the same time as Tony did (although this allowed her an extra hour of sleep because she no longer got up early to run). Today was a Saturday, though, so Tony didn't have to go to work, and as Ziva watched the clock tick over to 0900 hours, she decided it was probably time she moved from her comfortable position, entangled in the sheets of the bed she and Tony shared. She groaned softly as she stretched her legs, tensing in Tony's strong arms.

"Thought you were asleep," he murmured into her ear.

She rolled over, their faces impossibly close, her very large belly creating a rather irritating gap between them. "I think it's time we stopped laying around in bed," she said.

He went to kiss her and she smiled, sitting right up before he could. She freed her hair from the bun she tied it in for while she slept, while she felt and heard Tony move behind her. His fingers first ran through her hair gently, and then he brushed it aside, hands resting on her shoulders, barely exposed by the large tank top she had worn to bed. Slowly he began to massage her neck and shoulders, his fingers working the places where she felt the most strain.

"You're really tense, Ziva," he commented. "You need some relief."

She laughed. "Nice try, Tony." He was instead given a chaste kiss on the lips, and then she headed towards the bathroom.

"Get used to it," she called to him. "We are going to have a child soon."

By the tone of her voice, Tony could tell she was joking, although there was an element of truth. The baby was due to be born in just over a week, and Tony didn't know how to feel. He tried not to think about it too much and focus on Ziva.

But still, he couldn't help but feel a little…scared?

…

"I was thinking I would go and look at some wedding venues today," Ziva suggested to Tony over breakfast. "With Abby."

Tony's ears perked up at mention of the wedding. They had barely spoken about it since Tony proposed, though Ziva did sometimes catch the sight of her ring sparkling in the sunlight and it always made her grin.

"Sounds good, but if you're taking Abby, make sure you don't visit any castles or haunted mansions. If she gets too much control over this, you'll end up looking like the Bride of Frankenstein."

"Believe me, I have considered that. What are you doing today?"

He shrugged. "The oil in my car needs changing." It was the truth, but it wasn't first on his list.

…

"Oh my God, Ziva, this is so exciting!" Abby exclaimed, pigtails bouncing wildly. "Don't worry; we're going to find the perfect place for you and Tony to get married! Here, I have a list of possible venues." She held out a sheet of paper.

Ziva grabbed the paper and also the pen Abby had been holding, and scanned the list crossing off every place that had 'castle' or 'manor' in its name.

"Hey!" Abby snapped, snatching her list back. "There are only two venues left now, what's wrong with the others?"

Ziva sighed but smiled. It was going to be a long day.

…

Gibbs was alone in his basement, admiring the fine job done on his latest boat. The design had finally taken shape, and it was ready for the finishing touch.

The name.

Except, he wasn't really sure what to name it. Kelly had had her boat, as had Shannon, and he had watched them both burn into ash and smoke, just like his happiness.

"Hey, Boss," a voice from the top of the stairs said. Gibbs turned his head, although he knew exactly who was calling him.

"DiNozzo," he greeted. "Wasn't expecting company. What's on your mind?"

"What makes you think something's on my mind? Can't an agent visit his boss once in a while?" he babbled mindlessly.

"Tony," Gibbs said seriously, and Tony huffed. "It's the baby, isn't it?"

Tony nodded. "I'm worried, Gibbs," he confessed, sitting down on a paint-splattered stool. "No, more than worried. I'm _terrified._ Ziva's baby is almost due and I don't know how to be a father."

"No one does," Gibbs replied, unmoving except for his lips. "You'll learn, though. When that's your kid, you'll stop at nothing until they're completely happy, healthy and content, and even then you keep fighting. And it won't matter that it's not biologically yours. You'll love it more than you've loved anything before. You love Ziva, and you will love this baby."

"I'd go to the ends of the earth for Ziva," he said softly.

"You always would, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, smiling lopsidedly.

Tony hesitated for a moment. "Did you learn, Gibbs? How to be a father, I mean."

"I learned," Gibbs replied slowly. "I learned how to be a father and a husband, and you're gonna be a great one to Ziva and her baby."

Tony smiled, appreciative that Gibbs was willing to open up a little about his past to him. "Look, Boss, I know Ziva wouldn't want me telling you this, but. . .she decided what she wants to name the baby."

Gibbs poured some bourbon into an empty jar and took a swig of the liquor, glancing over the top of the rim expectantly at the younger man.

"If it's a boy, Leroy Jackson, and if it's a girl, Kelly Jennifer."

The sniper looked blank.

"Ziva had a nightmare a while ago, that you were shot and killed," Tony explained. "She wants to have something to commemorate you forever. You know, along with the ton of medals they'll give you."

Gibbs shook his head. "No. This is Ziva's baby, not mine. I don't need anyone following in my footsteps. I don't know if I could even say the name if it was a girl, named after two people I cared about so much."

"Good luck convincing Ziva of that," he muttered, but nodded understandingly.

…

"This is nice," Ziva said, looking around the hall she and Abby were standing in. It was a large building with white and red décor and a high roof, a crystal chandelier sparkling in the sunlight that poured in through pristine arch-shaped windows. There were ten rows of seating on either side.

"We have two dining areas where you can hold the reception," said the owner, who was giving them a tour. She was a tall, middle-aged woman with a short crop of red hair and dangerously pointy high heels that made Abby wince. "One is outdoors, in the rose garden, and since summer is coming up that is the prime choice. The other is indoors, but there are plenty of windows so the sunlight can flow in nicely. I'll leave you to look around."

Abby crept up behind Ziva. "This is a nice place, huh?" she commented.

"Definitely. I think we've found the place," Ziva replied, with a small laugh. "Can you believe I'm getting married?"

"Sometimes I think it's some crazy, twisted dream that you and Tony finally saw what was right in front of you the whole time, but then I realise something."

"And what's that?"

"It was just crazy, twisted reality," Abby replied, gently tapping Ziva's shoulder.

"I'm going to check out the rose garden," Ziva said, sauntering outside.

Abby was mesmerised by the chandelier for minute or so before she remembered Ziva was outside.

_Wow, these are gorgeous,_ she thought to herself, passing a row of bushes adorned with crimson roses in full bloom.

And in the middle of this was Ziva, standing completely still, hair whipping in the gentle breeze, her face twisted into an expression of horror and fear.

"Ziva, what's wrong?" Abby called, trying to run to her friend, which wasn't easy in her very large shoes, but eventually made it. The Israeli still did not move.

"Ziva?" Abby repeated, worry growing inside of her.

"My water just broke," Ziva replied.

**A/N: I had planned to include everything but I hadn't updated in ages so yeah… I will definitely get a new chapter up in the next few days. I know what I want for the next chapter, and I promise you this: Ziva will have the baby, and there is something else special but I'm not going to tell you. You'll just have to wait and read it! Reviews would be greatly appreciated.**


	27. Life

Tony was halfway up Gibbs' stairs when he received the call.

The first thing he heard when he answered it was an undecipherable babble from Abby, and he hastily pulled the phone away from his ear, waiting for her to stop. Which she didn't.

"Whoa, whoa, Abs, slow down," he said, trying to calm her down. "What is it?"

Abby took a deep breath and slowly, carefully explained the situation.

"_Tony, Ziva's water's just broken…hospital…now…"_

She said some other things, but that was all Tony could hear. He managed to barely catch _which _hospital they were taking her to before his hearing was overrun by the powerful drumming of his heart. He stood on the stairs frozen, a look of fear across his face.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked, wondering why his agent had stopped so suddenly. "DiNozzo!" he tried again, but still no answer. He dropped the tool he had been holding, brushed some sawdust off of his NIS shirt and climbed halfway up the stairs, just the right distance to smack his head lightly.

"Ziva's water's broken," the Senior Field Agent answered quickly. "We've gotta get to a hospital."

Suddenly he remembered what he had to do, and stuffed his cell phone in his jacket pocket, racing up the stairs and outside to his car. Just as he opened the door to get in, he felt Gibbs' hand on his shoulder and stopped.

His boss smiled. "I'm driving."

…

It was a matter of minutes before they arrived at the hospital. Tony was surprised they had made it at all, though. Gibbs' driving had been insane, even for him. Tony's knuckles ached and beads of sweat were hanging from his skin. Everything seemed so blurry up till now that, suddenly surrounded by white, the light was almost hurting his eyes.

Despite Tony not feeling his best, they wasted no time in finding the maternity ward.

"Where is Ziva David?" Tony demanded before Gibbs could even open his mouth.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," the young nurse stuttered nervously. "I…I can only divulge that information to the person she asked for when she arrived…" she referred to her computer screen. "Anthony DiNozzo, Jr."

"I'm Anthony DiNozzo," Tony replied, pulling out his ID. "_Where _is she?"

"Uh, Room 203. A nurse has just gone in to check her condition.'

Gibbs and Tony sprinted down the corridor before the young girl could finish.

Abby was the first thing they both saw when they arrived at Room 203, pacing along the floor muttering words to herself.

"Abs," Gibbs said, trying to snap her out of her worries.

"Gibbs! Tony! You're here!" she exclaimed, engulfing them both in a bear hug.

"Is there anyone you want to have with you now, Miss David?" asked the other nurse, an older woman.

Ziva took a shaky, nervous breath. "Tony."

Tony raced to her side, wrapping his fingers around hers and kissing her hand. The nurse smiled.

…

"Keep pushing Ziva, you're doing wonderfully," the doctor chanted. "That's it, push."

It had been fourteen hours, and Tony had not left Ziva's side even for a moment. He winced as he watched tears pour down his fiancé's face. She was trembling in pain, she was sweaty, and she was completely exhausted.

"It won't be much longer now, I promise," the doctor said. "We're almost there, Ziva."

"I don't think I can do it," she grunted.

"You can, Ziva, you can do it. I know you can," Tony said encouragingly.

"Shut up, Tony!" she snapped, and he did, knowing she was in a lot of pain, but she did not let go of her hand.

Not for a second.

…

Abby was still pacing.

"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod," she repeated over and over.

"Abby, will you sit down?" McGee asked exasperatedly. "You're stressing me out."

"Oh, _you're _stressed out, McGee?" she asked angrily. "What about Ziva? She's the one pushing something the size of a melon out of her—" she made odd, almost robotic hand gestures to emphasise her point.

"Abigail," Ducky interrupted quickly. "I understand you're worried about Ziva but we all are and worrying yourself half to death isn't going to help her."

"And doing nothing _will_?"

"No one said that, Abs," Gibbs pointed out, trying to calm the scientist.

"It's been fourteen hours, Gibbs! Not to mention the fact that we are nowhere near a Caf-Pow manufacturer, Tony hasn't even come down to give us details!"

McGee scoffed. "You seriously believe Tony would leave Ziva's side for even a minute while she's giving birth? She's his fiancée."

Abby pouted and finally gave in, taking a seat next to Gibbs, who patted her knee.

…

"How much longer, Doctor?" Tony questioned somewhat patiently, rubbing his eyes with his free hand (the other was of course holding Ziva's).

The doctor smiled. "Not much longer," she answered.

"Tired, Tony?" Ziva asked sarcastically.

"OK, Ziva, I'm gonna need a nice big push," the doctor said, and Ziva painfully, tiredly, and loudly obliged.

"Here we go, Ziva, I can see a head," the doctor informed her. "Keep going, you're doing wonderfully."

Ziva's grunts and cries were getting louder, and it was breaking Tony's heart—and, he feared, his knuckles, judging by how hard she was squeezing.

"Come on, Ziva, I know you can do it," Tony whispered, almost unsure if he was trying to reassure her or himself.

_Come on DiNozzo, she survived three months in a terrorist death camp. She can make it through childbirth._

His subconscious had a point, but it only sent a horrible, horrible thought into his head.

This probably didn't even compare to the pain she had felt in Somalia. He suddenly saw Saleem beating her beyond consciousness, her bloody, bruised, cut, broken body laying helpless on the dirty cell floor. It made him sick to his stomach.

Tony was pulled out of his nightmare fantasy by a blood-curdling scream coming from Ziva. She threw her head back in pain and tears streamed down her sweaty face.

And suddenly, she wasn't the only one crying.

Her cries slowed to small sobs, and Ziva lifted her head, looking for the crying child.

"Don't worry, they're just cleaning the baby," Tony whispered reassuringly, but even his eyes were darting in between the packs of nurses.

The doctor turned back towards the happy couple, holding the tiny creature enveloped in soft, white blankets.

"Congratulations, Ziva," she said with a grin. "You have a beautiful baby girl."

Ziva's eyes lit up and an ecstatic smile tugged and the corners of her dry pink lips as she held out her arms for the baby.

It was the most amazing feeling, holding her in her arms.

_I created you, _she thought. _I made you, and you're perfect._

And she was. She was the most perfect baby Ziva had ever seen.

In her mother's arms, the little girl's crying ceased almost immediately, like there was a comforting familiarity that settled her.

"She's beautiful," Tony whispered, completely in awe of the tiny girl. It was taking all his will not to cry himself. Tears of joy, of course. "Ziva, I hate to say this, but…Gibbs doesn't want you to name her Kelly. I guess it hurt too much."

The Israeli exhaled. "That's alright," she replied calmly. "I know no one will ever forget Gibbs, or Jenny, and he will never forget Kelly." She glanced at her newborn. "She doesn't really look like a Kelly, does she?"

"I guess not," Tony agreed. "What do you wanna name her?"

"Why don't you pick something?"

"Anything?" Tony ran his fingers over the fabric the little girl was wrapped in, and Ziva gave a small nod. "Willow Eve," he whispered. "'Willow means 'symbol of healing'. She's here to make things better for us. It's been a hard few months. And 'Eve' means—"

"'Life' in Hebrew," Ziva finished, with an approving smile.

"Willow Eve David."

"David-DiNozzo," she corrected with a loving smile.

"You like that, Willow?" he asked the baby, and her eyelids twitched in reply.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ziva said, shading Willow's eyes so they would be shielded from the harsh hospital lights in hope that they would open.

They did.

They were the emerald green mirror of Tony's.

Ziva suddenly felt tears near again. "Tony…she's ours."

"I know, and I'm gonna do everything I can to be a good dad, even though technically…" he hesitated mentioning Ray's name.

"No," Ziva said, shaking her head.

"No?" he echoed.

Ziva looked down at little Willow. "Tony, Willow is your biological daughter."

…

**A/N: Weren't expecting that, were you? Sorry this was late, was having a having a hissy fit :/ Anyway, if I am honest I have no idea when I will be able to update again, it depends on what happens with me but I've basically planned out the first half of the chapter in my head. Please review!**


	28. Ours

**A/N: well, if this is late, my computer got a virus. All I can say is, thank goodness for the iPad! Anyway, here is a new chapter and I am also glad no one disliked the baby name; it's always very hard to pick one. :)**

_"Willow is your biological daughter."_

Tony gaped at the helpless being that lay comfortably in its mother's arms. She was so beautiful, so perfect, and he already loved her like he was his.

Only thing was, she actually was his.

But how could it be? Ziva had told him, had told everyone, that Willow had been conceived in Miami just days after she had first laid eyes on Ray Doucette.

"It was the perfect plan," Ziva sighed, fearing to look into her lover's eyes. "It didn't start out so complicated. It was simple. I wanted a baby, and nothing was going to stop me. I didn't know it yet, but I was already pregnant when I met Ray. I was artificially inseminated."

"With _my _sperm?" Tony asked.

"I had no choice in whose sperm it was. I'd call it a coincidence but, well, there are rules against that. From your date of donation I saw you donated just after you broke up with Jeanne. You felt awful and wanted to bring happiness and love into someone's life."

Tony's chest tightened at her honesty, and her accuracy. That is just what he had been feeling, and instead of wallowing in a bar, drowning his sorrows in alcohol, he decided he might give someone what they wanted desperately.

"I still did not know Ray was married," she continued, "and I cared about him very much but something told me the romance would not last forever. But I couldn't bring myself to break up with him. What you saw of him was not the man he was before all this. He was sweet, and caring. I told him Willow was his, and that gave him the choice of staying or leaving. And you know the rest. The lies were numerous and detailed, but I swear to you, Willow is yours."

He gazed into her eyes, almost blankly.

"Say something," was her whispered plea, her worry growing by the second.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," he said plainly, looking away. Then, he realised what he was saying. "I can't believe you didn't tell me," he repeated, a lot louder. "You were just gonna have another one of my children and not tell me, again? Wow, Ziva, I didn't realise you were that selfish."

"Tony..." she tried to comfort him.

"You could have asked, you know."

"Asked you for sperm? Give me even one reason why you would have said yes," she asked him skeptically.

"Why do you find it so hard to believe I would help you? I'd take a bullet for you, I'd kill your boyfriend even though you'd hate me for it, I'd travel halfway around the world to get trapped in a terrorist death camp to avenge your death and kill the guy who I thought had killed you, only to rescue you even though you still hated me, and yet I won't give you my sperm so you can have what you've been dreaming of? I'm not that heartless."

"This is different. It's not giving a life. It isn't taking one, either. It isn't risking a life, avenging a life or even saving one. It's creating one, and that was the turning point, and you were my just my partner back then, I couldn't ask that of you., even considering our...history."

"Alright, fine. Tell me this, then: what was the flaw in your master plan, huh? What made the whole thing go pear-shaped?"

Ziva glanced at the sleeping child in her arms, then reluctantly back at Tony, his accusing eyes burning into hers. "I fell in love."

She reached out for her partner's hand and he backed away, shaking his head. "I don't think you've been one hundred percent sure about this from the beginning, Ziva. I've known you for five and a half years, we've been together for months now, and only recently have I discovered I have fathered not one but _two _of your children. What if we were never together? Would you have ever told me that the little girl that joined the dysfunctional agency family was in fact mine? Would you have just lied to me, lied to everyone, because you thought it would be easier on you."

"I was trying to do what was best for Willow!" Ziva shouted, tears welling in her eyes, and at the sound of her name the baby girl wriggled restlessly, and Tony lifted her out of Ziva's arms, placing her in a glass crib beside him.

"By denying her a father?" he asked her, finger gently stroking Willow's cheek.

"You would have felt obligated," Ziva defended. "You still did, even when I lied. The truth is, Tony, I am not your responsibility."

"Judging by that ring on your finger, you sure as hell are! You have been so unsure throughout this whole thing, one minute you don't want me there, next minute you do, we're together, you tell me you're too afraid, then decide you want to be with me, no more lies. I wanted to marry you because I loved you, and I always have. I knew you were a liar, Ziva, and I loved you in spite and because of that, but I've always thought I could trust you. Maybe I was wrong."

"Tony, please! Try to understand," she begged.

"I've tried. For five years I've tried to understand you and so far I've done a pretty bad job. I mean, I feel like I don't know you! You're my partner, you're my fiancé, and now you say Willow's my daughter. She's the most perfect little girl we could ask for, you know. This should be the happiest day of my life but...I don't know."

"Listen to me, Tony," Ziva almost ordered, and grabbed his arm. "Five months ago I had no idea what my feelings for you were, but I was pregnant with your child and deep down, I was happier than I've ever been. You have to understand sometimes there aren't reasons for the things I do. I'm strong, and I can survive a lot but there is only so much a human can take. There are parts of my past, dark parts, that I never, ever want to have to face again. And yes, physically, I survived, but my sanity did not go completely unscathed. And I am not just talking about Somalia. There were worse times. Much worse."

Every word had been a challenge to confess, but it had all been true. Her time in Somalia had been hell. That was the time her heart had been damaged the most, because it was the first time it had learnt to love and had to lose. But this was not her first time being captured. She had been beaten beyond recognition. But she was one of the lucky ones; she had survived.

Once, she had undergone two months of torture with barely any food, tiny amounts of water and daily beatings. By the time other Mossad officers could rescue her, she was only barely alive. But the damage had been done. She had once been so reckless; so wild. She remembered not having complications in her life. Of course, it was by no means peaceful and easy, but she always gave everything she had to Mossad, because she had always felt like she had nothing to lose, especially after she lost Tali. She had never said this to Tony before. Her life back then, it wasn't something she was proud of. Although damaged, she preferred the person she was now much more than who she used to be.

Her mind briefly drifted back to a day a few years ago when Tony claimed he was fixing up an old car. Sometimes that's what she related herself to. Untypical, but it made sense, to her at least. A sports car is heartless, cold metal scraps, made only to perform its best and cover up any damage done. She loved older cars much more. They didn't always work but there were memories, and stories. Origins of a certain stain on the passenger seat, the lingering scent of take-out from frequent drive-through stops on late nights, the struggling sound of the engine firing up. They seemed much more part of the life she had always wanted.

She longed for a family, for freedom, for people that loved her for who she so desperately wanted to be, and still was at heart, rather than the soulless killer she had become. Some days, she thought of the many people she killed. Maybe their lives had been like that, she thought, and it only made her loathe herself. But with all the battle scars she had obtained over the years, physical or not, that was only on a good day.

Now Ziva had been given the thing she had always wanted, and it was falling apart within minutes.

She still had hold of Tony's arm, and her tears were splashing onto her hospital blanket and gown. "Tony, I'm sorry," she whispered through her tears, and she released her grip on him, waiting for him to walk away in rage. But he didn't.

Carefully, he lifted sleeping Willow from her crib and cradled her tiny body in his arms. He crouched down onto his knees, now face to face with Ziva, who despite everything was not one bit worried for her child at this moment. She was safe with Tony. He was just one of those people.

Tony watched the smallest movement's in the Israeli's face, trying to read her thoughts. It was true that he sometimes felt as if he did not understand her, but that was one of the things he loved about her. She was complex, like a puzzle that lay in pieces on the ground, waiting for someone, anyone, to connect the pieces. As much as he was furious that she had kept something as important as Willow from him, he felt his heart in his throat when he saw her face. He loved this woman. She was his Ziva. Once she had seemed exotic and foreign, a little intimidating at times with her upfront approach, so different to Kate, whom he had been mourning when they first met. Now she was this smart, beautiful, skilled, amazing woman who he has watched blossom from killer to investigator to mother in just a few short years.

She was irreplaceable.

And nothing was going to stop him from being with her. He didn't even have to tell her. Words were weak compared to what he felt for Ziva. A picture may tell a thousand words, but on that day, in a crowded D.C. hospital with baby Willow shaded by her parent's shadows, Tony's kiss said just three words.

But they were the most important words.

**A/N: Well, I am glad I gave you a nice long chapter before I give you news: I may be a little scarce in the next few weeks, what with two vacations, school starting back up with a term-long project on a notable history person (I'm Dame Melba, opera singer), and also a week long camp in the Grampians. Lastly, the next NCIS episode will be on May 3rd, and it will be titled **_**Baltimore. **_**I am SO excited because I have been hearing about this episode since September last year and I am devastated that I am on school camp that week but I will watch it as soon as I get home (after showering, of course, since there are no showers where I am going). So in this ep we will see Gibbs' and Tony's first meeting, and also the first head slap, although apparently those are on separate occasions. :) Anyway, sorry for the long a/n, pretty please review!**


	29. Listen

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, guys, but I'm back now, YAY! Here's your new chapter.**

Finally, Abby's caffeine-fuelled patience had run its course.

"That's it!" she proclaimed, rising from her position next to McGee on the squashy brown leather hospital waiting room sofa, causing him to awaken from his light slumber.

"What's 'it', Abs?" McGee asked in a slightly slurred voice, stretching and rubbing his eyes.

"I'm going up to Ziva's room. Maybe someone can at least tell me her condition," Abby answered, hands on hips.

"Abby, I'm sure there's nothing wrong," he tried to convince the Goth, looking longingly at Gibbs and Ducky, who occupied the other sofa as they slept, and also Palmer, who had very recently occupied the single armchair, drooling dribbling down his chin and he snored softly.

"Come on, McGee," Abby sighed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the hospital elevator.

McGee yawned loudly as the doors closed, imprisoning him in the metal cage, further and further away from his warm seat on the sofa.

"Why are you so sure there is something wrong, anyway?" the Agent asked, removing the sleep from the corners of his eyes.

"It's been, like, fifteen hours, Timmy, and we haven't even heard anything. Tony's been one of my best friends for ten years, and Ziva…I love Ziva. I want the best for them, you know that."

Tim sighed, knowing there was no arguing with Abby once her mind was made up, and it was.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," he asked the timid young receptionist upon their arrival to the maternity ward, not wanting Abby to scare the girl as she probably had the first time she had come up here, pigtails and spiked collar, escorting a pregnant Israeli-assassin-turned-American-federal-agent. "We'd like to check Ziva David's condition, please."

The girl nodded. "Miss David's doctor signed the birth certificate a half hour ago, Sir. They haven't decided on a name quite yet."

"Can we see her?" Abby asked impatiently, drumming her fingers on the desk.

The girl nodded nervously, and McGee practically had to chase Abby down the hall before she stopped dead, right outside Ziva's room.

"Abby, what's—" he tried to ask.

"Sh!" she snapped harshly, holding up a finger. She leaned a little closer to the door, listening.

There was yelling coming from the room, and they were voices that were all too familiar.

Tony's voice rang out first.

"_I've known you for five and a half years, we've been together for months now, and only recently have I discovered I have fathered not one but __two __of your children!_"

Abby's jaw dropped to the floor and her chest tightened. Her heart began to race. She heard a whimper from McGee and he tried not to scream from shock. Then they heard Ziva's voice.

"_I was trying to do what was best for Willow!"_

"Willow," the two eavesdroppers whispered in unison.

The listened intently through the rest of the conversation, and it felt like an emotional rollercoaster just listening to it. Abby couldn't imagine how her friends felt right now, and McGee just looked nervous.

Finally, when they heard silence, the dared to peek into the room, to see Tony and Ziva joined in a kiss. Not wanting to invade their privacy (any further than they had already done anyway), the observers, tiptoed out of the room, hoping not to be seen or heard.

"Hey!" Tony's voice barked. "McSpy, get in here, you too, Abby."

They scurried back in, looking guilty.

"How much of that did you hear?" Tony asked seriously.

"Uh…from the 'fathering two children' bit," McGee answered, fearing his own safety.

Tony put his hands in his head for a few seconds, and then turned to a silent Ziva for guidance. She nodded slowly.

"This is Willow Eve David-DiNozzo," Tony said proudly, stepping aside to reveal the miniature human that lay in Ziva's arms.

"Aww, she's so cute!" Abby squeaked, gently touching the little one's cheek.

"And she's my biological daughter," Tony added. "Ziva was artificially inseminated with sperm I donated five years ago."

"Sperm can last that long?" McGee asked stupidly.

"Longer, actually, Timothy. There have been pregnancies that were successful with sperm donated up to twelve years prior," said a voice.

All heads turned (except Willow's, of course), to see Ducky standing in the doorway of Ziva's room. Abby and McGee sighed a sigh of relief in fear that Gibbs might have been with him.

"Where's the Boss?" Tony enquired.

Silently, Gibbs stepped into the room, looked at Tony coldly, and cocked his head back towards the door. He turned, grabbing Ziva's hand and planted a kiss to her skin. "You gonna tell them about Ori?"

"I am tired of lying. Tired of pretending," she replied.

"Maybe you're just plain tired," he said, touching her cheek, then leaving her side.

Once outside, Tony inhaled deeply and prepared to face Gibbs. He saw the expression on his boss's face and didn't really know what to make of it.

"She's a beautiful child, Tony," the older man said kindly.

Tony grinned. "She really is, Boss."

"She's yours."

"Yeah. Artificial insemination."

"Why the lie?"

"To be honest, Boss, I don't even think Ziva knows why she did what she did. It was an awful mess, a lot of wounds, but that was the inspiration for her name, Willow. It means—"

"Symbol of healing," Gibbs finished.

"Look, Boss, I don't know how many rules I've broken these past few months but I guess I just hope you're OK with everything."

"Tony, look into that room. Look at Ziva."

Ziva's now frizzy hair framed her face, her cheeks were flushed and there were circles under her eyes, as she was simply exhausted, but the smile on her face outshone all of those imperfections. The way she held that little life in her arms, close to her heart, clutching her protectively, was just so beautiful.

"Have you ever seen her happier, Tony?"

The man in question shook his head.

"You gave that to her, and I care about Ziva too much to even notice that you had to been a few rules to get there. Rule Number One: never screw over your partner. You obeyed this rule, Tony, and I'm proud of you for that."

"I thought Rule One was 'never let suspects sit together'."

Gibbs just smiled, and Tony smiled right back. Gibbs had finally said he was proud of Tony. Tony felt like he had finally earned the approval of the man he admired so much.

If only he knew he had had it all along.

**A/N: it was going to be longer but I hadn't updated in too long. I will try to get the next chapter up for you tomorrow, if not Friday. Please review!**

…


	30. History

**A/N: I was going to write this on Wednesday but on the first day back at school my maths teacher decided to give us about three hours of maths homework -.-  
I have been wanting to use this idea for a while and hope it is substantial for our 30****TH**** CHAPTER! I honestly can't believe we've made it this far and I only have you guys to thank, you are all AMAZING readers and reviewers and I love you all.  
On a separate note: I hope this is all accurate, I actually did do a fair bit of research for this (OK, so I googled and watched "Kill Ari" and "Bete Noire").**

It had been two weeks since the birth of Willow Eve David-DiNozzo.

Tony watched in amazement how she grew a tiny bit bigger, how she now had fluffy tufts of hair growing from her head, as dark as Ziva's.

The little girl was asleep in her nursery after a late night feed. The second bedroom had been painted by Gibbs as a gift for Willow. While Ziva was in hospital, Tony stayed there with her, and Gibbs kept all his paint stuff in the back of his car, and drove there every night after work. At first he had gone home each night, but found he got more work done if he simply crashed on their couch. In the end, the walls were a beautiful sky blue, and in one of the corners there was a beautiful painted tree, its branches, with golden-green leaves, stretched and curled high into the sky (which was actually the ceiling). Last, _Willow Eve _was written in beautiful cursive above a framed picture an overjoyed Abby had taken of the baby with her parents on the day of her birth. After enlarging it, both parents wrote a message to their daughter.

_Your mommy loves you, Willow. You are the most special little girl in the whole world. I love you darling._

_Dear Willow,  
I will love you forever, I promise. You're the best little girl any daddy could ask for. I'll always be thinking of you, princess._

"Princess," Ziva had read aloud, grinning. "She really is, isn't she?"

Ziva, though tired, could stay awake forever watching her baby girl sleep. She was healthy, with rosy cheeks. She loved when Willow would move her hands in her sleep, like she was holding something, or the way she would purse her lips.

She heart Tony's footsteps padding on the carpet, and felt him come up behind her.

"Sleep tight, baby girl," he whispered to Willow, with his arms around Ziva.

If he could freeze this moment forever, he would have. If he died now, he could die happy. His arms wrapped around the woman he loved, feeling her warmth, her heartbeat, looking over their daughter, sleeping soundly.

"Come on, we should go," Ziva whispered, pulling away from Tony's comfortable grip and tiptoeing out of the nursery. Tony followed.

Ziva smiled as she made herself some hot tea.

"What?" Tony questioned.

Ziva shrugged. "She reminds me of my sister," she confessed. "I remember seeing her that small. Willow looks a lot like her, except the eyes. She has her father's eyes."

He paused, clicking his tongue. She tilted her head to the side, asking what was wrong.

"The day Willow was born…things were said, probably a little too loudly but…you know a lot about me. What I haven't told you you've either figured out for yourself or just decided not to know and I wanna know, Ziva. I've been your partner for almost six years and I love you but sometimes I just wish I knew your story."

She sighed. "My story?"

"You don't have to tell me, but—"

"No," she interrupted. "I want to."

She placed her mug on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa, Tony next to her.

"Very early on, I don't remember much. I try not to think about it too often. It hurts. But I do remember I was very close to my sister and even closer with Ari, especially after we lost Tali. When I was little, maybe five or six, I used to go out onto the street and play football with Ari and his friends, but he was a few years older than me and soon enough the games became a little too rough for me, but sometimes after he would come home with a ball and we would play, just the two of us. I beat him sometimes, but he probably let me win."

"Sounds like a good brother," Tony remarked.

"Truth be told, he was," she admitted. "It was not his fault, how everything turned out. He should not have wasted his life with Mossad. He should have been a doctor or a surgeon; that was his true dream."

"So why was he with Mossad?"

"He knew Eli would never stop talking about it if he gave up everything he had been training for. He was angry, and sadly, the killing was the only thing that could satisfy that rage. But he wasn't always like that. He was loyal, and protective and intelligent. We were close."

…

"_Ziva!" Rivka called to her daughter as she entered the front door of their home. _

"_Yes, Ima?" little Ziva replied as she skipped through the house, the tattered ends of the torn fabric of her dress, covered in dirt, trailing on the floor behind her. _

_Rivka took one look at the girl and sighed. Her pigtails, which had been perfect an hour ago, had been replaced with a mane of curly dark hair. Her little shoes, once neatly polished and white, were now scuffed and the orange-brown colour of dust and dirt. The same dust and dirt that covered the rest of the little girl, the clean and pleasant-smelling child that she had been that morning now nothing but a memory._

"_What have you been doing?" she asked, bending down to be face-to-face with her wild daughter._

"_I've been having fun, Ima," she replied smartly._

"_But just look at you, all dirty and messy. That's not how a lady should act."_

"_But I don't want to be a lady, I want to play football. I'm good too, almost as good as Ari. Want to see how I can bounce the ball on my head?"_

"_No, I don't," Rivka snapped, and Ziva looked upset, but her mother didn't notice. "I don't know what you see in that dreaded sport, anyway. You're nearly six years old, it's high time you stop acting like a silly little boy. So for starters, no more football on the streets. That's the third dress you've ruined in a month."_

"_But what am I going to do all day?" Ziva whined, crushed that she was no longer allowed to do what she loved. _

"_You will go to school, you will come home in the afternoon and you will finish all your studying. Then you will start ballet classes."_

"_Ballet?" Ziva asked, her face screwed up quizzically._

"_Yes, and you shall be a fabulous little dancer, ballet teaches you discipline and you won't get dirty all the time."_

_Ziva wasn't sure if she liked the sound of ballet. She did not want to prance around like a fairy, she wanted to run around a football field. She did not want to be disciplined, because she knew she was a free spirit and did not like to be told otherwise. And she liked getting dirty. How else were you supposed to have fun? But Ziva did not approve of arguing either, and so she began ballet classes, and actually started to enjoy herself. But through the many recitals she did, though her mother was always in the very front row, her father never came to one of them._

…

"She tried to get Tali to dance, too, but she was difficult, and couldn't stand still for long enough," Ziva said, smiling melancholy at the memory. "As I neared my eleventh birthday, my father had me stop ballet. He said it was to start my training. I had wondered about this mysterious training for years, as Ari had begun when he was the same age. He had Tali do it with me, figuring it couldn't do her any harm starting a little early. He trained us in many martial arts, survival training and taught us about many weapons. Soon there became no time for Ari to play his football either. Friends were forgotten over the years, and I have always believed that was why I was so close to my brother and sister.  
Tali's death was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to go through. She was my sister…"

Ziva closed her eyes tightly, trapping the tears, the pain, inside. Tony grabbed her hand.

"It's OK, Ziva," he whispered.

"I miss them," she said.

"I'd be worried if you didn't," he replied.

Ziva sniffed. "I told everyone I didn't join Mossad because of Tali's death, that I did it for me, but I was lying. I was hurting, and I wanted to kill whoever Eli believed needed killing. I felt like I needed vengeance, but at the same time I felt like I was living someone else's life. Tali was always the favourite; the one who was destined to be a great Mossad officer. I wanted to live her life, when I never really had one of my own, because Mossad was all I had ever known. So I closed myself off to the world, never letting anyone past my tough exterior. But then I learnt what I was missing, finding a family like I did at NCIS. It's wonderful not having to carry the whole load on my own, to have someone there to help you when you fall, you know?"

Before Tony could reply, they both heard the humming of an engine outside. They assumed it was one of the neighbours until they looked outside.

"Tony…" Ziva whispered.

"Is that…?" he wondered.

It was.

"Eli," they both murmured.

…

**A/N: Finally got this out! I wasn't going to end it like that but I've been thinking of bringing Eli in for a while. Anyway, enjoy that because I won't be able to update until next weekend, as I am going on camp. Not really sure how I'm feeling about that yet so wish me luck :-) while we are there though we have this 3 hour solo and we're allowed to take a notebook so hopefully I shall have something ready to type up when I get back.  
Thanks for your support guys!**


	31. You Weren't There

**A/N: Hello! Sorry for the wait; camp was a little more exhausting than I expected it to be, not to mention I woke up sick this morning. I also did not get a new chapter written up on the solo, as I spent the whole time writing a Tiva fluff piece, which I will start typing up now, as I attempt to watch **_**The Last Rites of Ransom Pride **_**starring on Miss Cote de Pablo. Here's chapter 31 featuring Eli David!**

"What is he doing here?" the couple asked in unison, looking at each other before Ziva pulled Tony away from the window to avoid him being seen as her father stepped out of a shiny black limousine.

"This doesn't make any sense," Ziva rambled, pacing frantically, arms flailing. "We barely spoke last time he was here, after twelve years of him not even leaving the country, why come all this way out of the green?

"Blue," Tony corrected bluntly.

"How does he even know my new address?" she continued, ignoring his correction. "Has he had people spying on me again? How much does he know?"

"Wait, 'again'?" Tony questioned.

"Does he know about the engagement? About Willow? I never even told him I was pregnant."

"Ziva!" Tony snapped, and she stopped pacing. "Stop pulling an Abby and answer my question."

"Um…remember that, uh, brief relationship we had while Gibbs was in Mexico?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Brief? It was three months!"

"OK, fine, not brief. My point is that my father had people spying on my apartment. They had photographic evidence. They _knew _you were coming to my apartment all the time."

"You knew," he said, a hint of accusation in his voice.

"I _suspected_," she replied. "That is why I never had you stay at my place, and why, when Gibbs came out of retirement, I broke it off between us, among other reasons, of course."

"Well, what do we do now?" Tony asked, back on the most important subject, which was currently approaching their front door.

"We do not know how much he knows," Ziva answered. "Until we do, it is best you stay out of sight."

"No way, I'm not scared of Eli, and I'm not gonna hide from him. What happened to things being out in the open? What happened to you being tired of pretending?"

"There are things that have to be considered here Tony," she said, trying to push him into the back bedroom, next to Willow's.

"Look, Ziva, you're his only daughter and he left you to die in the middle of a freaking desert. You really think I'm going to let you face him alone? No. You jump, I jump."

"Titanic."

He grinned. "Very good. Looks like I'm rubbing off on you."

"Whatever, Tony, you are DiNozzo, not DiCaprio, so get going."

He stood unmoving.

"Please, Tony. I know my father, just trust me."

He sighed. "You're making it up to me."

"You know I can't—"

"You're cooking me your Bolognese tomorrow night," he finished.

"Done," she agreed. "Now go!"

He scurried away just as three sharps knocks to the front door were heard.

Eli stood outside the house that contained his only daughter and sighed. Until now, he had not been aware she had moved, until the current owner of her old apartment had given him the address. It was a nice house, with curtained windows to view the living room, a bedroom at one end and another bedroom at the other, she probably knew he was coming, if not for the drapes that covered every inch of glass.

Ziva knew it was going to be him, and she tried to prepare herself accordingly, but the second she opened that door and saw her father, his cold eyes poking daggers into her heart, she felt a pang of pain and a flash of memories. They all came rushing back to her. But she stood her ground and greeted him simply.

"Papa," she offered. "What are you doing here?"

His gaze remained unchanged. "May I come in, Ziva?" he replied solemnly.

She nodded and stepped aside to let him through, followed by an olive-skinned man in a suit with a beard whom Ziva did not recognise.

"Stay outside," he ordered the man in Hebrew, which Ziva understood of course.

Ziva closed the door, leaving her alone with her father.

"So, what was so important you flew all the way out here to tell me?" she asked, exasperated by him, obviously.

"Have a seat, Ziva," he requested, gesturing to their sofas, originally from Tony's old place.

They both sat down, the old couch springs sighing under the added weight.

"I am sure, Ziva, that you are well aware of the significance of next Wednesday."

She nodded wordlessly.

"This day has been fast approaching once again and of a night I find myself thinking of her more and more. Tali's death was hard on all of us, and its anniversary is never easy, but you," he stroked his daughter's forearm. "You were her very best friend, and after taking Ari away, I should never have taken you from her. I know it still hurts you that you could not be there when she died."

Ziva choked on tears at her father's unusually personal words.

"But like I said, I have been thinking. There were things, many things, in my past that I regret, but the thing I regret most is putting Mossad first. You, and Ari and Tali, you were all so independent, I forgot how important my role as a father was. I always brushed you away for work instead of showing pride in your achievements, just because they were not in my chosen field. I honestly believe that is why you all jumped at the chance to be fighters, because you knew it would earn my pride. Not because it was your dream."

Her fingers clenched into fists as memories and images appeared before her eyes. The always empty chair at her ballet recitals, the constant reminder of 'Not now, child, I am far too busy', the constant criticisms when he was not too busy to appreciate her.

"I felt betrayed when you, my only child now, resigned from Mossad, but that was when I realised, you had always needed me, but you had learned to not need me, and that is what drove us apart. I want to be a part of your life, Ziva, make up for the years I lost."

Eli squeezed her right hand, pleading.

"You left me to die in a desert," she said, voice thickly coated with hatred, looking down at the floor.

"I thought you were dead," he defended. "The _Damocles _went down in a storm, twenty-eighth of May, 2009."

She looked up to meet her father's eyes. The twenty-eighth of May was Willow's birthday.

"You lie," she stated, standing, anger burning in her eyes. "You knew I had infiltrated Saleem's camp and yet after three months you still made no effort to rescue me. Why do you think I barely talk to you anymore?"

"You had no obligation," he answered, rising also, taller than Ziva. "You no longer answered to me."

"I never considered you just my boss! You are my father, and I should have had reason to talk to you."

"It is like I said before you boarded the _Damocles, _Ziva, I wanted your loyalty. Now that you answer to NCIS it does not feel like I have that."

"You left it to them to save me!" Ziva shouted accusingly. "The people I abandoned because I was sure that my future lie with Mossad, that my trust had been previously misplaced. You were the one who convinced me of that. You convinced me that Tony was a traitor to me, when three months later, in a hot, dusty, dirty cell on the Horn of Africa, Saleem Ullman dragged my sweaty, filthy, bloody, malnourished body through the door and he was the one sitting there. Not you, not anyone from Mossad. Tony. And McGee and Gibbs were not far behind them."

"Why are you bringing Agent DiNozzo into this?" Eli asked. "How is he relevant?"

"It does not matter, because you cannot change the past, Papa," she snapped. "You can try to forget, but the memories you gave me are permanent. You can apologise all you want, but that just makes you _weak_."

"How dare you speak to me like that!" he roared. "You are the weak one, Ziva, running away from your problems because you believe that if you ignore them they will _go away_!"

She stepped away, tears of hurt filling her eyes. "I'm weak?" she echoed softly, the break in her voice barely disguised. "So why did you come all the way here, huh?" She lifted her arms and let them go, her hands brushing against her thighs.

"I came here to fix our relationship, but I suppose that is a lost cause, yes?"

"I suppose so," she agreed tensely.

"You shall have to find someone else to walk you down the aisle at your wedding, then."

Ziva gasped silently. She had forgotten about her engagement ring.

"So, are you going to tell me who the lucky man is? Is it that Ray that you have been seeing?" he asked calmly, as if they had not just had a complete explosion of emotions and accusations.

"Ray Cruz died months ago. Suicide," she explained.

"So to whom will you be wed?"

"That'd be me."

Two heads, one chocolate, on grey, turned towards the door where Tony was standing.

Eli looked at Tony, then back at Ziva. "You are marrying him?"

"Yes," Tony and Ziva both answered.

"And I assure you, father, your presence at the ceremony will not be missed," Ziva added coldly.

He nodded wordlessly. "Goodbye, Ziva," he said, opening the door, stepping out, and closing it behind him. That was all. Gazing out the window, Tony watched Eli stand there, rubbing his wrinkled forehead in disgrace. He saw the silhouette of the man who was probably his bodyguard in the limousine parked on the curb outside.

Ziva flopped onto the sofa, her head in her hands. "What have I done?" she asked herself, her words muffled by her hands.

Tony sat down next to her, rubbing her thigh comfortingly. "You stood up to him. That's OK, you know."

She looked at him, a content expression on her face, and kissed him softly on the lips.

When she pulled away, she nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"Tony," she said suddenly, sitting up straight. "Tony, get down.

"What?" he asked, bewildered. "Why? What's going on?"

Ziva disappeared in a blur, and the last thing he heard before the roaring sound of gunfire was her desperate cry of, "_WILLOW!"_

…

**A/N: There's your update! Hope you enjoyed it :-) please review. I can't wait for Swan Song. I either want EJ to be the P2P killer or die. Or be pregnant with Tony's kid. Or be having an affair with Ray and be pregnant with his kid. Or all of the above. Whatever, as long as fanfiction keeps me busy in the months between seasons.**


	32. Father

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating, guys! I've been overloaded with homework. Here is your new chapter.**

Leon Vance stared aimlessly over the many desks that dotted the open floor of NCIS from the balcony, wondering if anything was so important that it could not wait until Monday to be done.

Vance's eyes drifted across to the office of the MCRT, and all but one of the desks were empty.

He smirked. Jethro Gibbs was his best agent. There was no doubting his long-time service to the Navy and common disregard for protocol made him well-known throughout their field and with other agencies too, but Leon often had the feeling the man had a little too much free time.

The harsh trilling of his cell phone interrupted his train of thought, but as words were fed through his earpiece he continued to watch Gibbs work, and wondered just why the man was here on a Saturday, without a case.

…

"Gibbs!"

The man in question looked up at the sound of his name being called. He watched Vance speed down the stairs and stop in front of his desk.

"Need something, Director?" Gibbs asked, still half-focusing on the paperwork he was doing.

"We have a problem," he answered.

"Oh, we do, do we?" Clearly Gibbs' priorities were wrong, based on what Vance said next.

"I just received a phone call. Eli David is in town."

"He paying us a visit?"

"The only one he'll be seeing is Doctor Mallard. He's dead."

All thoughts of paperwork flew out of Gibbs' head, and under different circumstances, Vance might have felt notably pleased with himself, but now was not the time.

"When?" Gibbs asked. "How? Where? I need information."

"Two hours ago. There was an assassination. Witnesses on the street saw two men with dark hair and dark complexion fire machine guns. Four of the bullets hit Eli. One in the leg, one in the stomach, two in the chest."

"Where?" Gibbs repeated his final question, hungry for more.

The younger man hesitated.

"Leon," he warned, standing from his chair.

"The house of Agents David and DiNozzo," he finally answered. "The neighbours heard shouting before the gunsh—Gibbs!"

Gibbs was well and truly out of there before Leon could finish speaking, leaving the poor man short of all agents, without a clue how much the agency's image would be damaged by the attack and Gibbs' behaviour at the crime scene, and with words hanging off his tongue.

…

_Two Hours Earlier _

The gunshots had stopped, but the ringing in Tony's ears still remained.

From his position on the floor, he dared to look around him, at least to measure the damage.

It was a complete mess. Broken glass littered the floor, lamps and ornaments shattered, bullets embedded in the sofa and the curtains were ripped to shreds. The only thing that hid him from the bullets was the coffee table.

Then he heard it. A sound like no other. He could recognise it in a heartbeat, and it was Willow's cry.

Forgetting completely that the shooters were still out there, he sprinted through the debris and shards of broken glass to find his daughter, scooping her from the crib and holding her in his arms.

"Shh, baby girl, it's OK, we're OK, Daddy's here," he said softly, calmly.

As Willow's cries grew softer, Tony began searching frantically for Ziva.

He called her name.

No answer.

He called her again, louder.

He heard a groan, and followed it immediately. She lay on the floor of the hall.

Tony let out a sigh of relief when he saw no blood. Shifting Willow's weight, he held a hand out to his fiancé, which she took, embracing them both in a powerful hug once she could stand.

…

_Present Time_

The David-DiNozzo residence was a mess when Gibbs arrived. Yellow police tape was strung everywhere, and a small crowd of people who were most likely neighbours (Rule #35 came to mind, and Gibbs quickly scanned the faces for anyone who looked anything close to Israeli, with no luck).

"I had a feeling I'd see you here," said a voice.

"My agents, Tobias," Gibbs replied to his fellow grey-haired friend. "Anything I can do?"

"My team are handling the crime scene. Pictures, bullets, shell casings, you know the drill. I'll give you everything we've got when we've got it, but we do know a witness saw the shooters and we managed to get a police sketch of one of them. From the description they were probably Israeli or somewhere near there."

Gibbs nodded at the updated information that he had been previously given from Vance.

"Where are they?"

"We're here, Boss," Tony's voice sounded from behind, Ziva holding a now sleeping Willow standing next to him.

His two agents looked quite a sight. Both had quite a few cuts and bruises, dirt smudges on their faces. Ziva's eyes were red and her hair was falling loosely from its usually secure ponytail.

Without even a hint of reluctance, Gibbs handed Tony a set of keys. His car keys. "Grab some stuff, I'll make sure you can get in, and you can stay with me until this whole thing is sorted out," he said reassuringly.

"Thank you, Boss," Tony replied. Gibbs laid a hand on his Senior Field Agent's shoulder and squeezed firmly, hoping the gesture alone would be enough to show his support. "I'll go get Willow's car seat," he told Ziva.

"I got it already," Gibbs said. "It's in my car."

Both gave him exhausted but very grateful smiles as they turned towards their house, a depressing sight.

…

As the DiNozzo clan set off to their home for the foreseeable future, the stunned silence among them remained (including Willow, although she did make noises occasionally).

"You OK, Ziva?" Tony asked when they hit a red light. She had, after all, lost a parent today.

She sniffed, tucking one of the many loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"Your parents teach you how to walk," she answered. "Then they teach you how to talk, then they let you go out into the world and find yourself. But if they tell you that you are worth nothing, then that is what you will believe, because even though you loathe them, something inside of you yearns for their love, because you know your parents are supposed to love you. They are the only people in the world that, no matter what, will always love you and help you when you fall. My father was many things, but he was still my father and the little girl inside of me wants to love him and for him to love me, but the grown up I had to become is telling me not to trust him, and now all I have are these bad memories." Tears poured down her cheeks. "He was right," she sobbed. "I am weak."

Tony hated so much to see her cry. He pulled the car over, letting the traffic pass, and placed a hand on his love's cheek. "Listen to me, Ziva. You are not weak. You are strong. You're a fighter. So brave, so beautiful. He can't take those words back now, so just forget them. Because you are perfect the way you are. Understand?"

She nodded feebly.

"Good," he lifted her hand, kissing it. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Of course," she replied, a little laugh gracing her voice. "I love you too, Tony."

…

**A/N: So they are stuck living with Gibbs for the foreseeable future…interesting. I totally can't wait for Pyramid! I will miss NCIS when it's over for the season. Hopefully the break won't be too long. And before I go, should I bring EJ into the mix, just to shake things up a bit? I have ideas as using her not as a rival like in the show, but differently. It could be cool, and Tiva jealousy is always fun to write. Majority rules.  
And if every person who read this sent a review, we'd have…a lot of reviews. I don't have a calculator, but reviews mean the world to me, so if you would just spare a minute of your time, pleeeeaaaaseeeee?**


	33. Into The Mix

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone who has reviewed so far, it really does mean the world to me. I can't wait for 'Pyramid', I'm so excited! But also sad, no NCIS for months. I shall hopefully be doing a lot of writing. Oh, and exciting news, as of this chapter, this story has the most chapters of any story I have written! (my first story, which is pretty crap I have to say, was 32 chapters and 75 measly reviews haha, I think I have improved a bit since then :D)**

She was never one to stay still for very long. As a child, she had been jumpy and reckless and wild, never being able to resist the urge to splash about it puddles after a sudden downpour or run head-on into a freshly raked pile of autumn leaves, their hues of crimson and brown and golden flying about in the gentle breeze. As a grown-up, she sometimes felt those same urges, but now had the strength to resist them. _Most _of the time. But until now, she had never realised how much her daily routine, driving the same way to the same place to see the same people, had meant to her. And now, she was in an unfamiliar environment, astonished at how the new experience had her stomach in knots.

She gulped and clutched her large brown leather carrier bag as the doors of the elevator opened to reveal stained orange walls and the happy sound of mindless chatter and the ring of telephones and fingers clicking away on keyboards. And an incredibly annoying skylight.

She cast this unpleasant thought aside as her eyes fell upon two men sitting at a cluster of desks in the centre of the office. They were silently working, and although she failed to decide whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, she took it in her stride and put on her most charming smile, ready to face whatever this new world had to throw at her.

…

"I appreciate your opinion, Gibbs, but from what I have heard, your reactions have been similar in the past, and look where you are now," Vance said sternly, his rock-hard expression barely registering in Gibbs' mind. They stood either side of Leon's desk, as they often did in their heated arguments.

"No offense, _Director,_" Gibbs snapped in reply, stressing the man's title, "but things around here tend not to cope very well with change."

"When I split your team up two years ago you know there were greater reasons behind it. Besides, now it's different. Your team are my top agents. We, as an agency, can't afford to lose that reputation."

"Which is why bringing a rookie into the mix will only make things worse," Gibbs countered.

"What Agent Barrett lacks in experience she makes up for in heart."

"My team didn't get where we are today with just heart."

"Exactly," Vance pointed out. "You're good, Gibbs, but you're not immortal. The same can be said for your agents. Nothing lasts forever, and we need to be prepared for the unexpected. She may not be the next Agent of the Year, but EJ has potential. The kind of potential that could thrive with just a few weeks under your guidance. And we both know an extra pair of hands won't do you any harm in the field."

"She has next to no field experience."

"Neither did Agent David when she first arrived and look at her now. Understand this isn't a permanent arrangement, Jethro. I just figured a fresh face might do your team a little good. Agent David still has six weeks of maternity leave left."

"Agent Barrett may not be as qualified as you, but she's hard-working, determined and plays by her own rules. Sounds like someone I know."

Gibbs sighed, tiredly. It was clear arrangements had been made and he wasn't going to win this fight. Although he would make a note to ensure that Vance knew his feelings about the situation.

"On another note, I hear Ziva and DiNozzo and their daughter are bunking with you?"

"They had nowhere to go," Gibbs defended. "They certainly couldn't go to Eli David for help, even if he was alive."

"That's very noble of you, Gibbs," Vance complimented.

Gibbs nodded a thank-you and left the Director's office, ignoring his assistant's feeble hello as he exited.

…

EJ's footsteps were so quiet that she was barely heard by Tony and McGee. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat loudly, announcing her presence. Both looked up simultaneously; curiously at the young blonde, her pale, pretty face holding an expression of innocence.

"Um, I'm Probationary Agent Erica Jane Barrett," she said, "but you can call me EJ."

Tony leant back in his chair, twisting a pen in his fingers. "How can we be of assistance, EJ?" he asked, hesitating to use the nickname on such new terms with the girl.

"I'm looking for Special Agent Gibbs," she replied. "I'm the new probie." She grinned childishly at the self-assigned nickname.

Tony was intrigued. "Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo," he introduced himself. "Tony," he added.

She cocked her head. "Italian," she noted. "Do you cook?"

"Well…" before he could launch into a perfectly fictitious story, McGee chimed in.

"Special Agent Timothy McGee," the younger man said, stepping out from behind his desk to shake the girl's hand.

"Hi," she said with a forced smile. "So," she continued in a happier voice, her attention turned back to Tony. "This bag is heavy; I guess I better get set up, huh?" She began to set her things down on Ziva's desk.

"No," both men called in unison.

She scoffed. "No?"

"Down the end," Tony explained. "That desk's kinda taken."

"Not for another six weeks," she argued.

_Feisty. _"Yeah, but the girl who owns it's a little touchy with her stuff. Plus she hates people adjusting the height thing on her chair and you're…well…" he gestured to EJ, who was notably small and petite, more so than his partner.

She sighed. "Fine." She paused, setting her things down on the lonely back desk. "So, what's Gibbs like?"

Both men silently looked at each other.

"Oh come on, I'm sure it's not that bad," EJ laughed.

"It's the kinda thing that can't really be described with words," Tony said.

"That a fact, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, striding into the bullpen, coffee in hand, as if nothing was wrong.

He stopped dead in front of EJ, eyeing her suspiciously.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," she supplied, holding out a hand.

Both men winced. _'Sir'. Rookie mistake._

"Agent Barrett," Gibbs greeted bluntly, teeth clenched.

But the girl was not shaken by his tough demeanour. "I'm looking forward to your lessons in field work.

The men winced again. On Team Gibbs, you learn by watching.

Before Gibbs had the chance to further gather a first impression, she strode off toward her desk, and began setting up various office supplies.

Tony watched her in shock. It was unsettling that she had been so calm under the icy power of the 'Gibbs Stare'. He could make even the toughest of the tough crack and she simply brushed it off as if it was nothing. On the other hand, it was calming to know that the box of paperclips she was holding would most likely not be used as a factor of his untimely death should he happen to get on the girl's nerves.

There was something about her.

Something that Tony found intriguing.

Something that Gibbs found suspicious.

And something that, what with all the subtext in this simple morning conversation, made poor McGee feel more out of the loop than ever.

**A.N: Well, that was longer than I expected so I guess I can stretch this out a bit better. I hope you enjoyed the first part of my insight into EJ's character. Something tells me she would have made a way better probie than team leader. I personally think Levin should be the leader of their team, although I do like Cade a lot too. I hope they're not dead. And for any PauleyP fans, a preview of her new 'Stop Making Friends' song, 'Fire in Your Eyes' in on YouTube, and I found out today that she was the lead singer of all-girl band, Lo-Ball. Look it up, people! I shall update when I can!  
On a side note: isn't it incredible, it took me a week to write an essay that was only just over 1,000 words, and I wrote this in an hour.**


	34. Personal Space

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the wait. I have been buried in homework and prepping for a piano exam (my general knowledge: 0) plus I've had music and dance rehearsals all weekend and I am very, very tired. But I have been hanging on to this chapter for too long, so it's time to get it out. Please note the date this chapter is set is the same as the last chapter; I just forgot to add it in last time. This picks up roughly fifteen minutes after the end of the previous chapter.**

Gibbs sighed and grumpily tossed his empty paper coffee cup in the waste bin by his desk, storming out of the building for more before anyone could say a word.

Once he was sure his boss was out of the room, McGee piped up, "Well, he's in a particularly nasty mood today."

"I'll say," EJ called over the wall, before her head popped up, making her visible to the two men. "Is he always like that?"

"Pretty much," Tony shrugged. "The guy lives on coffee."

"I've noticed," the girl replied. "That's his second cup today. That much coffee can't be good for you. Have you told him to drink less of it?"

"Oh no," both men said. "Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live," McGee finished.

She smirked. "That a rule?"

"Number twenty-two," McGee answered.

"No, McGeek, twenty-two is 'never bother Gibbs in interrogation'. The coffee one is twenty-three."

"How many rules are there?" EJ asked apprehensively.

"About fifty," Tony answered casually.

"How do you remember them all?" she asked, walking out from behind her desk and into the centre of the bullpen.

"I have a list," McGee replied, handing her a sheet of paper from his top desk drawer. Tony snorted.

"You would have a list, McTeacher's-Pet," he commented.

"This is ridiculous," EJ said, eyes scanning the list of rules. "Never say you're sorry?"

"Six," they added in unison.

"There's no such thing as a coincidence, now that's just stupid."

"Thirty-nine."

"Wait, Rule Number Twelve: Never date a _co-worker_? That's just insane. Gibbs is your boss; he should have no control over who you see outside of office hours."

"You speaking from personal experience, Agent Barrett?" McGee enquired.

"No, but…never mind. Anyway, what's a girl gotta do to get a tour around here?" She held her arms up to the silent audience. "Tony?"

"Sure," he agreed, escorting the smiling girl out of the room.

…

The programmed ringtone interrupted Ziva's train of thought as she waited at red lights. She sighed deeply, the still lingering scent of leather from her new car—after she and Tony both decided a Mini probably wasn't the most ideal car for a parent of an infant—flowing into her nostrils, and answered the call.

"Hello, Abby," she greeted cheerily, the fingers of her left hand drumming the wheel, as she had the phone in her right.

"_Where are you?" _Abby's voice asked from the other end of the line. "_You said you'd be here by eleven."_

"I know I'm late, Willow made a little mess, but I'm five minutes away."

"_Promise?"_

"Yes, I promise. Look, I have to go, Abby," Ziva said hastily, sensing the traffic lights would change again in a moment.

"_OK. See you soon."_

Just as the dial tone sounded the lights turned green and she sped off.

…

The silence in the elevator was awkward in its nature, as elevator silences often were. But Tony realised something in those few painful seconds: he did now know this girl, and they would be working together for the next six weeks while Ziva was away. It might pay to get to know him.

"So," he began bravely, "where are you from?"

"I was actually working in Spain, but one of the main field agents over there is retiring and they're putting together a new team and they want me in it. Trouble is, I have no field experience. A vacancy was noticed in your team and next thing I know I'm on a flight to D.C."

"Did you grow up in Spain?" he asked, amazed he got such a detailed, open answer from her.

"No, I lived with my parents in Hawaii, and moved with my dad to Spain after they split up."

Before he could question her further, the doors opened to reveal Autopsy.

"It's truly amazing, Mr Palmer," Ducky's voice rang out as he visually examined the insides of a recently deceased sailor, his hands gesturing as he spoke and not touching the body's organs, "the effects the Ancient Egyptians had on civilisation today."

"I disagree, Doctor," Jimmy countered, although unsure the relevance to the current situation. His hands were rather sticky, as he prepared to weigh the liver of their victim. "I think the Greeks had a larger impact. They invented democracy, you know."

"Don't forget the Olympics," Tony chimed, sauntering into Autopsy with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, the small blonde bopping along behind him.

"Who have we here?" the old Scotsman asked, striding up to the probie.

"EJ, this is Doctor Mallard, long-time NCIS ME and living history book, Ducky this is EJ," Tony introduced.

The two shook hands politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my dear," Ducky commented with a charming smile.

"You too, Doctor," she replied, pleasantly surprised at the Medical Examiner's bright mood, for someone with such a seemingly depressing career.

"Please, call me Ducky," he insisted, as he did all new agents. "And this is Mr Palmer."

"Jimmy," the young man added, scooting around the table and over to EJ, offering his hand as a reflex, then remembering the rubber gloves he was wearing were covered in various bodily fluids.

"I'll pass on the handshake, but nice to meet you too," EJ said.

"Well, we better get back to work, Mr Palmer," Ducky said, turning away from his visitors. Tony and EJ left Autopsy promptly, and Jimmy's call of, "Nice meeting you!" fell on deaf ears.

…

Ziva inhaled deeply the scent of her workplace. Though the action was a little strange, something about the smell of 'home' was comforting to her, especially since her current home had an overwhelming scent of bourbon and sawdust.

The bullpen was empty except for McGee, working diligently at his computer as always.

"Hello, McGee," she greeted her gentle male friend warmly. It had taken her this long to realise how much how much she missed him. The way he stumbled over words when he was nervous and his calming smile.

"Ziva," he grinned, looking up from his computer screen. "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting," she replied, placing Willow's carry basket on her desk, or what would be her desk if she was working here. She glanced quickly at her wristwatch. "Crap. Abby is going to kill me. I was supposed to be here an hour ago. When I was already running late, _somebody _decided she was hungry."

Despite her mother's slight frustration, they both looked adoringly at the baby girl, whose eyes were wide open.

"Let me tell you, McGee, breastfeeding is not something you want to do on the side of a highway," she blurted out.

McGee didn't really know what to say.

"Forget I said that," she quickly said. "Where's Tony?"

"Giving the new girl a tour," he answered.

"New girl?"

"Yeah, her name's EJ Barrett. She's only got here this morning, and already she's on thin ice with Gibbs. Then again, I think he's more attached to the team than he lets on."

"Mm," she agreed, absent-mindedly.

"You OK?" he asked.

Her head snapped back to him. "Of course," she smiled. "I better get going, before Abby begins to hunt me down, huh?"

…

After circuiting most of the building, though avoiding Abby's lab until she could be brought up to speed on the current situation, Tony and EJ ended their tour in the break room.

"Not that we get much of a break," Tony said. "And the vending machines don't work half the time."

"I could go for a candy bar right now," EJ replied, not entirely listening. She sauntered over to the machine, inserting a dollar into the slot and receiving her treat seconds later, no hassles, no fuss.

"Wish I could do that," Tony muttered to himself as she walked back over to him.

"So," she began, chewing thoughtfully. "Tell me about you."

"What _about _me?" he asked.

"What's your story?"

"Not much to tell. I've worked here for ten years, before that I was a homicide detective."

"And?" she prompted, stepping closer to him.

"And what?" he questioned, the tiniest hint of discomfort in his voice.

"Is there a Mrs—"

"Tony," a voice from the doorway sounded.

"Ziva!" Tony said in surprise. "I was just…"

Before he could finish, EJ jumped in. "Oh so _you're _the famous Ziva," she said, leaping in front of Tony to shake yet another hand.

Ziva smiled forcefully. "You must be EJ," she said with all the politeness she could muster, shaking the girl's hand.

"Oh, you're getting married!" EJ stated, noticing the diamond ring on Ziva's hand. "Congratulations! He's very lucky, from what I've heard about you."

"Yes," she agreed, looking over the short girl's shoulder at Tony. "He is."

EJ laughed. "And I heard you just had a baby, too!"

"Ziva," Tony interrupted cautiously, aware of how he looked right now. "Where _is _Willow?"

"She's with Abby. I better go and get her before I find my daughter pigtailed."

"What does that mean?" EJ whispered to Tony, not having met Abby yet.

"You'll get it when you meet her," he replied.

Reluctantly, Ziva retreated the break room, trying not to run back there and kick precious little EJ to the ground. What was she doing with Tony? And why _on earth _did he let her? Just because she wasn't here was she not to know about all of this?

"I just love weddings!" EJ exclaimed when Ziva had left. "Are you going?"

"EJ, look—" he tried to address the issue when the incessant trill of his cell phone rang from his pocket.

"DiNozzo," he answered, agitatedly.

"_Tony, get back up here. Gibbs just came back and he's still in a really bad mood and he's just gone to see Abby so you better be here before he comes back or—"_

"Relax, McGee, we'll be right up," he snapped, shutting the phone. "We better get up there," he said, more worried about his personal safety when Gibbs was in such a rotten mood than anything else right now.

…

"I mean she was all over him, it was ridiculous," Ziva ranted to Abby, whose music had ceased due to potential damage of little ears.

"Tony's a good-looking guy, Ziva, maybe it was her who initiated it," Abby interjected, straight to Tony's defence.

Ziva looked sceptical. "I do not trust her," she stated. "And I love Tony, but…"

"No buts! Did you actually see anything happen? Apart from the close proximity?"

"No," she admitted.

"Well, there you go. You and Tony used to be all over each other like that all the time. There was nothing behind it."

"Nothing behind it? We have a child! Besides, Tony wasn't engaged."

"But those weren't the events that led up to you falling in love with him. What are you really worried about here?"

She buried her head in her hands. "I don't know," she spoke slowly. "I suppose I just wonder what might have happened if I hadn't been there, and if something did happen would he have told me about it. I do not know if you have noticed, Abby, but the men in my life haven't exactly been the most trustworthy people. Most of them are gone now, but I need to know I can trust Tony."

Abby wrapped her arms around her friend. "Tony loves you, Ziva. He thinks you're the most amazing woman on this planet and he loves you for who you are. He would give his life for you in a second."

"You're just saying that," Ziva argued, sniffing.

"No, I'm not. I read the draft of his wedding vows."

Ziva just hugged her friend tighter.

She loved Tony. Nothing would change that, but you cannot erase the scars.

Her heart was too fragile to be toyed with so inhumanely. Not by him. She trusted him with everything she had, but she knew some things cannot be changed.

And there was something in EJ's eyes; something she recognised.

It was something she did not trust.

**A/N: I'm not 100% happy with this, but I hope it's OK. Questions remain: what will EJ do in her obliviousness? How will Tony and Ziva's relationship be strained? And lastly, why is Gibbs in such a bad mood? Also, I'm glad you guys like Probie EJ. Please review! OK, I must go watch Offspring now. Something to fill in time while NCIS refuses to be on. **


	35. Taking Charge

**A/N: Oh my god I am SO sorry for not updating! There's been a lot of stuff going on…drama (with all my hormonally troubled friends), homework, music, and a little illness that has brought me to you today. If it helps, this is pretty long. Also, I've decided that this story will be roughly 40 chapters, so sadly, we are nearing the end. But I intend to make it an exciting end, and go out with a boom, as Ziva would say.**

Very soon it was time for EJ to learn the ways of the field. Gibbs mumbled to her to 'observe' but the keen girl would have none of that. She kept asking if she could take photos, bag and tag, and she even had the nerve to ask if she could drive the truck back to base. Unfortunately for her, she was given a flat-out no for all of those things. Frustrated, she called upon her supposed teammates to defend her, but Tony and McGee just stood there sheepishly, not uttering a word.

By 1900 hours on that Friday night, the silence that had fallen over the squad room for over an hour was coming to an end. Both finished their reports, McGee and Tony were playing online Tetris, in a war to see who could beat the impossible level eleven, and EJ was finishing her second attempt of her work, the first having been discarded by Gibbs at a mere glance of the page. They all had to admire, however, how well the girl's confidence remained unshaken.

EJ let out a sigh of relief as she finished the final keystrokes.

"Thank God," she laughed. "I'm _starving_."

She placed the paper, still warm from the printer, in a folder and handed it to Gibbs, who cast it aside until, EJ assumed, he finished whatever he was doing. But he seemed to have accepted it, so at least now she was free to leave.

"It's seven o'clock," she said, studying her watch. "I better get going, before my stomach decides to digest itself. You up for dinner, Tony?"

He opened his mouth to politely decline her offer, but instead a noise was emitted from his own stomach, indicating that his hunger was as strong if not stronger than hers.

"I guess I could go for a decent meal," he sighed, gathering his things. "Where do you wanna go?"

He followed her eager footsteps in the direction of the elevator, earning a curious glance from McGee and a suspicious one from Gibbs, both of them going unnoticed.

EJ tilted her head to the side, playing with a lock of her blonde hair. "You pick," she decided. "As long as they have a salad on offer. I'm trying to watch my figure."

A part of Tony probably understood that that had been where he had been supposed to compliment her, but most of him was worried about what he had just agreed to do. Everything was riding on his choice of location. _Nothing intimate, _he told himself. _Nothing romantic. _If EJ got even a hint of the wrong idea, he's be in even more trouble than he already was.

Over his years as an NCIS agent, he had learnt first-hand to _never _distract from the case, which is why, regretfully, the blonde probie was still oblivious to his relationship with Ziva. His focus had been entirely on catching their latest murderer while at work, because he knew closure was higher on the Universe's list of priorities than his life.

And now it was his chance.

It had to be public. Busy enough that if things didn't go smoothly, no self-respecting woman would make a scene, but not so busy that they could not talk. He knew the place.

"I know the place," he told her. "It's this little café on L Street. Just follow my car; it's only five minutes from here."

True to her word, EJ ordered herself a salad, and because he didn't feel as hungry as his stomach told him he was and to avoid the possibility of wanting to share, an intimate gesture (unless you're Ziva, Tony or Gibbs), he did too.

"So," Tony asked, jabbing his fork into a bright red baby tomato hidden under a shred of lettuce, "how did you like field work?"

"It's…exhilarating," she replied with a smile. "I feel like I'm actually making a difference."

"Well, it beats being stuck in an office all day," he said, reluctantly popping the tomato into his mouth.

Talk of the case filled most of the meal, although there was not much of it as it turns out EJ actually had been starving and Tony, not a fan of salad, had silently watched. He would definitely be picking up some real food on the way home.

"So listen, EJ," he finally said, setting his mostly unused cutlery down on his mostly full plate. "There's something I wanted to talk you about."

…

As Ziva held her baby, it never ceased to amaze her how wonderful it felt.

Timeless, almost. Except for the ruthless ticking of Gibbs' clock, which only reminded her every moment was precious, and it mustn't be wasted.

_Tick._

_Tick._

_Tick._

But she hated these long hours without Tony. At almost eight o'clock, he should be home. Gibbs had said just last night that he thought they were close to wrapping up the case. And if they were held up by something, wouldn't they have called?

Shifting Willow's weight to one arm, she pulled her cell from her pocket and dialled Abby's number.

"_You've called the hospital,_" the Goth's voice answered.

"Hospital?" Ziva asked, her chest tightening. "Is everything alright?"

"_Ziva!_" Abby replied excitedly. "_How are you_?"

"Fine, I'm fine," she stammered. "Abby, why are you at the hospital?"

"_I'm not_."

"Then why did you—"

"_I'm playing nurse with McGee," _she clarified.

"Um…"

"_Ziva, it's not what you think," _McGee's voice rang clear from the speaker.

"_We just had a little boo-boo_," Abby finished for him.

"_It was not a boo-boo, Abby, it really hurt!"_

"_McGee came in to say goodnight and slipped and hit his head," _she explained, adjusting the icepack she was holding to his head, earning a wince from the victim.

"So you're at work?" Ziva asked.

"_Yup," _Abby answered. _"Why?"_

"Are Tony and Gibbs there?"

"_Gibbs is, but Tony left about an hour ago," _McGee said.

"He is not here," Ziva stated.

"_I think he went to grab some food."_

"_Running a trace on his cell," _Abby said automatically, the sound of her fingers on the keyboard audible through the phone.

"Abby, don't, it's not important—"

"_Got it. He's at a café on L Street."_

"Why would he be at a café by himself?"

McGee and Abby's glances to one another were so awkward you could almost hear the friction.

"He's with her, isn't he?"

"_Ziva, relax, I'm sure it's—" _Abby tried to say.

"Can you access the security footage?"

Abby sighed. "_Yeah. Up, McGee, now!"_

Butterflies could not describe the feeling in Ziva's stomach right now. It felt more like a tornado, actually.

"_We're in."_

…

"OK, so talk," EJ replied calmly, though a little surprised by Tony's sudden change of tone.

"I've never really taken to newcomers that easily. When you're as close as this team is, it's hard to accept change. But when it's someone like you, someone who is determined and smart and never gets discouraged to matter how many times Gibbs glares at you, you made it easy. You've shown no hesitation in showing that while you're here you refuse to take the back seat and I admire that, and I have to admit I've made some poor judgements in the last week, waiting until now…"

Her hand covered his, and their eyes met.

…

"_What do you see?" _Ziva asked through the phone.

"They're just talking," McGee answered.

"_And?" _

"EJ's smiling," he added feebly.

"_Abby, can you read their lips?"_

"Maybe," Abby answered. "Let me just zoom in…it's really unclear. I'll try to enhance the picture. OK, that didn't work."

"_You know, I shouldn't be doing this,"_ she sighed. "_I trust Tony."_

"Ziva…" Abby said.

"_No, don't try to change my mind, I should never have let you trace his cell phone in the first place."_

"Ziva," McGee interrupted, a little louder.

"_I mean, just because I don't trust her, doesn't mean she isn't—"_

"Ziva!" they both shouted.

"_What?"_

"I can read these lips."

…

"I know what you're trying to say, Tony," EJ said. "I know it's hard, so you don't have to if you don't want to."

He frowned. "You do? Then why didn't you say something? It could have made the last week a lot less awkward."

"You've gotta face your fears. You're really brave, Tony, fearless in the eyes of death. Your weapon is practically an organ to you. I see that. But I wanted to know if you were just as fearless facing something you can't kill with a bullet."

"Hm. I guess you're right. If I'd known how you'd take it maybe I would've told you earlier," he said, pleased with how well everything had gone.

"I know you respect Gibbs, Tony, but we both know there was one rule you could never quite follow," she said with a smile.

"Rule number twelve's a tricky one, alright," he replied. "Temptation's always there, but when you're absolutely sure, you feel like there's no chance of anything going wrong."

"And you can finally give in to temptation," she added.

He was surprised at how she had taken things, so maturely, so understandingly.

But not as surprised as he was at the feeling of her lips on his.

…

"_What are they saying?" _Ziva asked worriedly.

"They're not saying anything," Abby answered, her body frigid with shock.

"_What do you mean?"_

Abby just let herself be enveloped in McGee's hug. "I can't watch anymore, Timmy," she whispered, closing the video.

"_Oh my gosh…"_

"Ziva, I'm sorry," McGee said solemnly, before terminating the call.

…

Ziva just hugged her baby tighter, a single tear marking her face. But somehow, knowing it was _his _child too, just made the pain all the worse.

**A/N: OK, OK, if I promise there's a happy ending to all this will you not hate me? Hopefully will update this weekend. Bye x**


	36. Why Wasn't I Enough?

Tony pulled himself from EJ's lips, gasping.

"What's wrong?" she asked, a slight pout on her face.

"I thought you said you understood!" Tony replied, slamming the table and causing a few nosy diners to turn their heads in the direction of the pair.

EJ felt her stomach drop. A hand flew to her mouth in embarrassment. "Oh God," she uttered, her cheeks flushing. "You didn't mean…"

"No, I didn't," Tony snapped, having lost interest in what the other people in the café thought of his behaviour.

"I'm so sorry, Tony, my old boss always said I was too ambitious," she rambled.

"Rule Number Six," he said bluntly, beckoning a waiter for their bill.

"What?"

"Gibbs' Rule Six: Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness."

"Oh, for God's sake, Tony!" she spat, standing. "You worship the ground that man walks on and for what? What respect does he give you in return? Physical abuse, more like. You're just too proud to admit you hide in his shadow because you're afraid of him!"

"Hey!" he shouted, standing to meet her furious gaze with a matching one. "I've worked with Gibbs for ten years, Gibbs has been an agent twice as long and before that, he was a great Marine. You've been here five minutes and already you're throwing words around. I'm not taking it. See you Monday."

With that, he slammed a hundred dollar bill on the table and stormed out of the restaurant, leaving EJ under the judgmental gawk of strangers' eyes.

…

Mere seconds after Tony had found refuge in his car did the heavens open up, rain pouring down from the skies, wind ripping through the trees. Thunder crashed and lightning shone a ghost light over everything it touched for a split second before disappearing. By the time he was home, it had not yet ceased, and he ran from the driveway to the door before he could be soaked.

He walked through the door, his shoes squelching with every step, his hair plastered to his head and his clothes dripping. The house was dark, though through one door he could see the light shining through the gaps. It was the door to the basement, and he decided he should not disturb Gibbs. Still, in the darkness his keen eye could not miss the sleeping form on the sofa, rising and falling with every breath.

As quietly as he could, Tony tiptoed through the house, toward the bathroom, where a nice hot shower beckoned him. Carefully he peeled off his soaking clothes and stepped under the cascade of water. As the steaming water washed over his skin, EJ floated into his mind again. His plan to fix things had gone badly, to say the least. Not only did she take things completely the wrong way, but he had been the one to make a scene and embarrass himself.

He didn't know the half of it.

…

His wet clothes were thrown into the washing machine and replaced by an old T-shirt and a pair of boxers and he crept back into the living room to throw the spare blanket over Ziva. Despite the storm, it was a warm night, but he didn't want Ziva to get cold regardless.

"I'm awake, Tony," he heard her say, not even sounding tired, although she probably was.

"Oh, well in that case, are you coming to bed?" he asked, reaching for the light switch.

"I need to talk to you," she replied, rising from the sofa. "About EJ."

His stomach was in knots. If Ziva found out what had happened tonight she would be crushed. He said nothing, waiting for her to speak further.

"I know what happened this evening," she confessed. "You weren't home yet and I called Abby to see if you were still at work and she traced your cell phone to that café you always go to and McGee said you were with _her _and I just…panicked. So I asked them to access the security footage."

"We just talked," he tried to convince her.

"Don't lie to me, Tony."

"She brought it on, Ziva, I swear."

"You just lied through your teeth to me. You left it a whole week and didn't bother to even mention to this girl who so obviously has eyes for you that you were engaged with a child. How can I believe you?"

She sounded so defeated, so broken, so unlike his Ziva.

He pulled her close, a hand on her cheek, his eyes boring into hers. "Because, Ziva, I love you."

She just turned her head.

"Then why couldn't you tell her that?" Ziva asked in a tiny whisper.

"We were in the middle of a case."

"Has never stopped you before. And it was an open and shut case, we both know that. This girl won't be a part of your life in eight weeks. Why didn't you say anything?"

He sighed. "I don't know."

She looked as if she might cry.

"Ziva, it was just a kiss. I have no feelings for EJ."

"But it was one kiss you didn't get from me. I wasn't enough for you."

"It didn't mean anything, I swear," he said, words pouring from his lips.

"But it did. If it didn't, if _she _didn't, you would have said something the moment you met her."

"I love you," he said again, stroking her cheek. "You know that."

"They're just words, Tony. It may have just been one kiss, but I'm not stupid enough to think that it won't happen again. Maybe then it'll just be one night. Just one meaningless fling. You'll say the same thing then, but it was one more night that I wasn't enough for you. You can't teach an old dog, new tricks.  
When I said I'd marry you, I meant that. For rich or poor, in sickness and in health. For better or for worse. I'd be your only one, and you'd be mine. If that's not true anymore then you can have your ring."

His heart stopped when she turned her back on him and he felt a ring in his hand.

"I thought you stopped running," he called after her.

She turned around, tears in her eyes. "I'm not running. When I said I was afraid of losing you, I ran. But that was different. It's not just me I have to protect now. I have a daughter."

"Our daughter."

"_My _daughter," she said, and began walking away.

"Where are you going?"

She ignored him, and entered the bedroom. She came back seconds later with a suitcase.

"Ziva, you're freaking me out here," he said worriedly.

"I'm going. I'm taking my daughter and I'm leaving. I'll stay in a hotel tonight, then with Abby until I can find a place. We'll figure something out with the house when it's finished being repaired. I'm taking the rest of my leave, and then I'm giving my resignation to Vance. I'm getting out of D.C., Tony. I need a fresh start."

"Ziva…"

"No," she sobbed, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I can't look at you without everything coming back to me. It hurts too much, Tony."

"Then why give everything up?"

"I have a child who needs me. I don't have the luxury of spending my time on a relationship that was doomed from the start."

He stepped forward grabbing her forearm. "At least, stay till morning. We can figure this out."

"This time, I don't think we can."

She placed her suitcase by the door and walked back into the bedroom, this time coming out with Willow's carry basket.

"You can't just take Willow with you, I'm her dad," Tony said desperately.

"You're her _father._"

Her words made his blood run cold as he remembered that terrifying New Year's Eve.

_"Ziva, there's a difference between who your father is, and who your dad is. You father is the person whose sperm was used to create you. Your dad is the one who teaches his son to play baseball, football, about fishing, about girls. And his daughter, his little princess, he'll practically load his shotgun every time a boy comes near her. Your dad is the one who teaches you how to grow up, and face the world with your best foot forward. And you know, your father and your dad can be two completely different people."_

Opening the door to face the heavy rain, Ziva raced to her car carrying both Willow and her suitcase, and miraculously, the baby girl remained in her slumber.

Once more, she braved the rain, returning to the front door, where Tony stood rigidly.

She opened her mouth to speak, but she had no more words for him. She had never wanted things to end this way. Hell, she had never wanted them to end at all. But she had to think of Willow now.

Tenderly, she placed her lips to the very corner of his mouth, tasting his skin, inhaling his scent for the last time. He remained still, not moving a muscle, and she walked away into the wet night.

He stared endlessly at the diamond ring in his hand. Six years' worth of memories flooded his mind, made tears blur his vision, broke his heart. Ziva was the best thing that had ever happened to him and she was gone.

He didn't know what to do.

…

**A/N: was going to make this longer but it turned out longer than I expected so yeah. OK first, I didn't want to do this but I swear it has a purpose and remember, there's a big pot of Tiva at the end of the rainbow, so all is not lost. Please don't hate me too much.  
Quick preview of the next chapter:**

"_I screwed up, Boss."_

"_Screwed up what, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked absentmindedly as he carefully carved intricate patterns into woodwork._

"_Everything."_

_He looked up from his wood curiously._

"_I know what you're gonna say, but this time it was really was everything. She's the love of my life, the mother of my child, my partner, and she's gone. She's my everything, Gibbs."_

**Also, I promise other juicy stuff. Please review, but no flames/hate mail/whatever you choose to call it. Although you can bash EJ as much as you like. I will probably update tomorrow. **


	37. Fantasy

**A/N: So I decided to let this swirl around in my head all day and I have a feeling the story may exceed my original plan of forty chapters, although we'll just have to see.**

…

Tony stood just outside the open door for what felt like hours, staring into the night, letting the wind and rain capture him in its wake. Though he was covered by a roof, so aside from being a little damp and cold, he wasn't really damaged by the storm.

Only when the door to the basement opened to reveal Gibbs, whose original intentions had been to head to the kitchen for an unopened bottle of bourbon, did he move back inside.

Before he knew it, he found himself in the basement, his own bottle of alcohol in his hand.

"I screwed up, Boss."

"Screwed up what, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked absentmindedly as he carefully carved intricate patterns into woodwork.

"Everything."

He looked up from his wood curiously.

"I know what you're gonna say, but this time it was really was everything. She's the love of my life, the mother of my child, my partner, and she's gone. She's my everything, Gibbs."

The old sniper just sighed.

"Are you ever gonna say anything?" Tony asked, his voice rising.

"What about Willow?" he asked in reply, after careful consideration.

Tony set his bottle down on the counter and sat down on the rickety stool that permanently rested in the corner for these sorts of occasions. It was rusty, covered in sawdust and groaned when he sat on it.

"She's perfect," Tony confessed, staring at the dirty basement floor. "Every time I hold her in my arms it's like the first time all over again. I didn't know something could be so small; so precious, and I…I was really looking forward to being a dad, you know?"

Gibbs was silent once again, but gave him a nod, and suddenly something about his silence, now seasoned with a readiness to listen, was comforting.

"I was gonna be there for her every step of the way, Gibbs. When she said her first words, took her first steps. I wanted to watch her grow into the wonderful girl I know she's going to be. I wanted to be the father I never had growing up. And I know the job would have been hard on the family but we'd get through it, because we were surrounded by people who care about us. Me and Ziva, mommy and daddy. Aunt Abby and Uncle Timmy, and Papa Gibbs. Grandpa Ducky, maybe cousin Jimmy. I just knew that I wanted Willow to have people who cared about her in her life."

"She was always gonna have love in her life, Tony," Gibbs assured him. "And no matter what happens, she still will."

"I know, I just…I had this vision of what everything would be like. I'd watch as she grew bigger and bigger, stronger, smarter, more and more like her own person. She'd have tea parties and put on shows for us and draw pictures which we'd go to our grave swearing they were a work of genius just because they came from her. On her first day of school we'd walk in through the gate, holding both of our hands, and the second she set eyes on the playground, full of kids just like her, she'd run off on us and start chatting away with every other kid she passed and I'd laugh and say she has Ziva's confidence and she'd tell me she's got the DiNozzo charm. We'd enjoy those years of playing Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa. Every Christmas and birthday she'd come rushing into our room shouting our names and we'd just roll over, telling her to go back to sleep and, having inherited both her parents' stubbornness, she'd just crawl right in between us. I'd be there for everything. Those nights when perhaps she'd rather be with her friends than at home, or she got into trouble at school. Maybe she wouldn't even wanna speak to me but I'd still be there. Prom, Graduation, and God forbid I ever let _Ziva _teach her how to drive,"—he chuckled softly—"And one day, we'd pack up her room and she'd drive off to college and we'd just stand there on the curb, waving until we couldn't see her car anymore and we'd say, 'We did a good job. It was worth everything'. And it would be."

Gibbs said not a word, but he stopped carving, holding his head in his hands.

"You ever feel that way, Gibbs? With Kelly?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, Tony," he replied sadly. "That's exactly what it felt like. Difference is, I never got the chance to know my daughter. You still do. Don't give up on family. I did, and I'd be kidding myself if I told you I wasn't lonely as hell."

Tony silently thanked his boss for his honesty.

"Get some sleep," he ordered, though the nature of the comment was gentle. Sometimes his harsh demeanour was hard to see through, but at times like these, Tony was thankful he had Gibbs, because really, he was the only one to go to.

…

EJ cursed as she stepped out of the NCIS elevator. Abby better have a damn good reason for calling her here so late, without a case. Her night had been bad enough.

As what she had learned to be the norm, loud music blared through the speakers and it hit you like a wave of sound as soon as you entered the lab. She almost had to shout to get the girl's attention. But she wasted no time in turning the music off.

"What the _hell _is your problem, EJ?" Abby barked almost immediately.

EJ scoffed, offended. "Excuse me?"

"How could you just kiss Tony? Why would you even do that?"

"Wait, how did you know about that?" the blonde asked, all hopes of keeping this quiet flying out the window.

"It's not relevant how or why I know that," Abby snapped, her hands placed firmly on her hips. "What matters is that you ruined the best relationship that Tony ever had!"

"Relationship?" EJ's eyes widened to the size of tennis balls. "He…he never mentioned a relationship…"

"That's because he didn't want to hurt you," Abby said defensively, although inside that fact did surprise her. "It took them six years to finally get their crap together before they realized they were perfect for each other, but it was a delicate balance. It took long enough to achieve the first time, who knows how long it's gonna take to fix, especially with someone with as much bad luck with love as Ziva."

"Ziva?" EJ practically squeaked. "_She's _his girlfriend?"

"Fiancé, actually," Abby added.

"Oh God, oh God, what the hell have I done?"

"That's a good question. Maybe you should ask yourself that next time you decide to throw yourself at someone."

There was a lot more Abby could have said, most of it in expletives, but she chose to simply leave it at that. She had other things to worry about.

…

_Monday_

"Abby, why did you call us all down here?" McGee asked as he walked through the door of her lab, closely followed by Ducky and Palmer.

"And why are you holding a gavel?" Palmer further questioned.

Abby put her gavel to good use and tapped it lightly on the bench. "Silence, please. Now, as you all know, a certain probationary agent has wreaked havoc among a certain pair of partners and, well, there were tears. Since Ziva's staying with me, it's become clear that these two are still very much in love and don't know what's good for them. So now it's up to us."

"Abs, this really isn't a good idea," McGee interjected.

"I agree," Palmer added. "What business of ours is it anyway?"

"Quiet, Black Lung," Abby snapped, slamming the gavel once again. "Your job is Caf-Pow, coffee and lunch, nothing more."

Palmer pouted and shut his mouth.

"Now, I officially call to order the first meeting of TCP," she declared cheerfully.

"Transmission Control Protocol?" McGee guessed.

"Tenocyladine?" Palmer guessed also, uncharacteristically piping up with previously unused knowledge of hallucinogenic stimulant drugs.

"?" Ducky suggested, incorrect though impressing his colleagues with his smooth pronunciation of the overly long word.

"Close Ducky," Abby said, "but not quite. I hereby call in session the first meeting of the Tiva Conservation Project."

All three men wore confused expressions.

"Do you mean Total Intravenous Anaesthesia, Abigail?" Ducky questioned.

"No, Ducky! Tiva. It's like Brangelina, but better."

"So it's like Tony, and Ziva?" Palmer asked.

"A plus, Jimmy!" she shouted, banging her gavel again.

"I'm still a little foggy on mine and Timothy's presence," Ducky said.

"Ducky, I need you to go over Ziva's psyche profile. Find anything about trust issues and figure out a way to, um…solve it."

The Scotsman nodded politely.

"And me?" McGee asked.

"You're on Tony duty," she answered. "You're the closest thing the guy has to a best friend. He may give you a hard time but he trusts you. In order for this operation to truly work, we need both sides of the story."

"I really don't have a good feeling about this, Abs," McGee warned.

"Meeting dismissed," Abby announced, hitting the table a final time.

"Where the hell did you get a gavel anyway?" McGee asked.

**A/N: So kind of depressing but ended on a lighter note. In the end, you get by with a little help from your friends, as the song goes. I'll try to update on Wednesday. Please review!**


	38. Ghosts of Passion

**A/N: So sorry for the wait, stuff came up. I know that's not an excuse but…*Gibbs-slaps self*. **

…

_**June 8**__**th**__**, 2011  
1900 Hours**_

The first stars of twilight sparkled in the summer sky as light faded into dark, and Anthony downed the few remaining drops of whiskey from his bottle before letting it roll onto the floor, feeling the burning liquid run down his throat.

Yawning, he gazed at his surroundings. His home, good as new, was now only occupied by him. It had been a month—four weeks today—since he had last spoken to Ziva, or seen his daughter. His heart ached every time he thought of them, but he would never demand Willow for his own. No, not if Ziva did not wish for him to.

The small house had once seemed like a perfect place to come home to every night. It was home. It was a happy place. Now it was just a building. Everything felt cold, no matter high up the thermostat was turned. There was no meaning to anything anymore.

Tony rolled onto his side and closed his side, burying his face into the pillow, and was pulled into sleep within moments.

…

Ziva was watching Willow sleep when she heard careful footsteps coming from the kitchen. She looked up from the newborn, and saw Abby standing there.

"I'm going out," the Goth said quietly, so as to not wake the light-sleeping baby. "Is that OK?"

Ziva nodded tiredly. The least Abby deserved was a night to herself, no babies to awake her in the middle of the night, no spit-up on her sofa. She had offered refuge to Ziva and Willow, and for that, the Israeli was thankful. Abby's friendship, though occasionally a little scary, was something she wouldn't trade for the world. Never had she had a friend who had loved her so unconditionally, be so brutally honest and so wonderfully kind at the same time. The past month had been hard. Her mind had been screaming at her and her heart had been screaming even louder, taunting her with regrets, dreams, mistakes made. Some days she could handle it, but others weren't so easy. Abby was there through it all. She listened to every word she had to say, and even the ones that she was afraid to voice.

Once alone, Ziva lay on the sofa, pulling the blanket up to her chin, squeezing her eyes shut tight and waiting for the peaceful oblivion of sleep to open up and swallow her whole.

…

A Parisian skyline.

That's how it always started.

A cool breeze swept over Paris and Tony stepped out onto the balcony and gazed up at the stars. They were like diamonds encrusted in a silk sky. On the horizon, he could see the Eiffel Tower sparkling in gold and, as he always did, wondered what it would be like at the top. He had tried to visit it once, when he and his father had visited, but alas, a ten-year-old boy on summer vacation would not have much luck.

There were gardenias growing in a pot to his left, their scent carried ever so lightly by the gentle breeze, and to his right was a little cupid statue, whom he silently thanked for his previous luck in this particular city.

Tony felt a warm, slender hand touch his shoulder from behind and turned eagerly, but only to see something that horrified him.

Ziva.

But not the Ziva he knew. This Ziva had a white aura glowing around her, her skin was pale and her dark hair was wild, framing her face almost like a mane. She was clad in silky clothes that hung loosely from her body.

Slowly, she leaned forward on her tiptoes and he felt a ghost of a touch to his lips. He stroked her cheek so carefully. She looked like she could break into a thousand pieces, like porcelain.

But when their lips collided, she was strong.

He ran his hands up and down her torso, feeling her body. And oh how _real _it felt to him. Her fingers ran through his hair, and her lips clung to his, asking for more. She unbuttoned his shirt painfully slowly, working each button with her fingers.

She pulled away, and he was panting breathlessly, yet she seemed positively calm as she walked—no, _floated_ over to the king bed that sat square in the centre of the room. She slowly pushed him back onto the silky sheets and straddled his waist.

He pushed her shirt up with his hands, feeling her toned stomach, and she lifted her arms so he could push it over her head. Garments were shed further, gathering in a pile upon the floor. Finally, when he could take it no longer, he broke the final barrier between them. Closed the space.

Every movement between them set every one of his nerves on fire, pleasure erupting within him.

He was so close.

"I love you Ziva," he whispered in her ear.

And then, a breeze swept through the open door and carried Ziva away as if she were made of sand.

He was alone.

And when he awoke, he was alone.

…

Her dreams took place somewhere in a desert. Every time the hot wind blew, sweat teamed from her brow and grains of sand and dirt stung her skin.

When she saw him, she thought it was a mirage. Her mind was playing tricks on her, surely. But would her own mind be truly this cruel to her?

Sure enough, he was real. She ached for him, and she was taken in his strong, muscled arms until they found shelter.

In Ziva's dreams, she felt herself cry out in passion and pleasure, as Tony kissed every inch of her body. Her fingers clawed at his back, no doubt leaving scratches. He was ruthless with her. He was rough; his demeanour resembling that of Saleem Ullman that Tony DiNozzo. Tony was sweet to her. But not this Tony. This man showed her no mercy, his soul was cold, and his heart was empty.

She came so close, every time, but every night he just disappeared from her grasp. It was like when you walk don't see a step along the ground you are walking; you put out your foot to step but there is no ground there and you fall. The difference was, in real life you only fell a few inches. In her mind, she fell forever, into nothingness.

Ziva awoke drenched in sweat, and her blankets on the floor, long having been kicked off.

She tried to make a clean break. But each and every night without fail he invaded her dreams. Every other moment of the day he was on her mind.

She was plagued endlessly with the question, "_Did I make the right choice in going?"_

Willow was her first priority now, and Ziva had to ask herself, if she had never gotten pregnant, would they have been together in the first place? There was no doubting that underlying feelings for each other had always been there, but did Tony fall in love with her because he felt sorry for her? Or was Willow simply a push in the right direction?

Whatever the answer was, perhaps this _was _right for her baby. Even before she was born, even before she existed, Tony and Ziva's relationship had been dysfunctional, messy, turbulent. It was like their relationship as they knew it was a puzzle, and the pieces just refused to fit together, insisting they belonged somewhere else, as part of someone else's picture. Not ideal for a growing child.

But they always came back to each other, and slowly the pieces started to fall into place. It had also been happy, loving, and trusting, and that was exactly what Willow needed.

She came back to this conclusion about thirty times a day, making and unmaking her mind over and over again. But there was one fact she pushed down and down and down in fear of her heart overpowering her sense of judgement.

She was still in love with him.

**A/N: I hope you liked this, and thanks so much for all the reviews! We are only 22 away from 400! Maybe we could make that milestone? This was my first shot at writing something like this, so I hope it was OK. Please tell me how I went. From my more updated plan, this will be 41-42 chapters. The problem is I never know how long something will be before I write it. I'll be sad when this story is over, but at the same time I will be starting a new story based around the Season 8 cliffhanger. TIVA, of course. I will update when I can, which will depend on how much you review! *wink wink nudge nudge* **


	39. Minutes and Dip

**A/N: Thanks to pbfn242751 for the super kind review! x**

_June 19, 2011_

"OK, welcome to the second official meeting of the TCP," Abby said in her 'official' voice as her minions gathered around her. "Let's read the minutes of our last meeting—"

"Abby, Abby, can we just skip the formalities, please?" Palmer asked nervously, tugging at his shirt collar.

"Black Lung! Did I or did I not tell you to bring dip to this meeting?" she asked intimidatingly, pointing to him with her gavel.

He mumbled something in response.

"What was that?" Abby shouted.

"Yes, Ma'am," Jimmy repeated, audible this time.

"Don't call me 'Ma'am'," she reminded him.

"Yes, um…Abby," he corrected himself.

She just stared at him expectantly. "Then what are you still doing here? Go get some!"

"Does that count as my lunch break?" he whined to Ducky, who chuckled.

"You're on your lunch break, my dear boy," the Scotsman replied, patting his assistant on the back.

Palmer just stomped off.

"Well, then, back to business," Abby continued once he was out of sight. "McGee, did you talk to Tony?"

McGee nodded.

…

_One day earlier_

_McGee approached his slightly superior's desk with careful steps. For weeks, he spent all of his time buried in and endless sea of paperwork that just floated around his desk, or checking and double checking BOLOs every five minutes, barely saying a word to anyone. Though he put up a friendly and playful image, everyone there knew, except EJ, who was not really on speaking terms with him anyway, that when he wanted to be, Tony DiNozzo could be very dangerous._

"_Hey Tony," he greeted in his most friendly voice. "Whatcha workin' on there?"_

"_Paperwork," the older man stated bluntly, scribbling his signature at the bottom of a page, then looking up at McGee. "What do you want?"_

"_Just…wondering if you wanted to get a few drinks after work?" he asked as casually as he possibly could, trying his hardest not to sound sympathetic nor like he was being forced to squeeze private details out of one of his closest friends._

"_If this is your attempt at throwing me a pity party then I rate you a solid D. Minus. I'm fine," he insisted._

_Clearly he wanted to be left alone. Perhaps tonight was not the night. _

_After work, EJ scurried away as soon as Gibbs gave the word, and Tony somehow still had his head buried in a folder. _

_But McGee stayed put, waiting patiently until Tony finished his report. _

"_So, Probie," Tony said. "About those drinks?"_

_McGee nodded understandingly and grabbed his things, calling the elevator and waiting for Tony to get his things. _

…

"So?" Abby pushed. "What did he say?"

"He's a broken-hearted man, Abs," McGee replied. "That's all there is to it."

Abby pulled Tim into a hug. "Oh, McGee, it's all so _sad."_

"That it is, Abigail," Ducky agreed solemnly.

"I mean, you'd think someone as brave and strong as Ziva wouldn't be so scared of love."

"Maybe that's it, though, Abs," McGee said, rubbing the Goth's back comfortingly. "Ziva can face bullets and knives and bad guys because that's what she was trained to do. That's what she knows, and that's what she's always known. It's like a turtle living its whole life in its shell and crawling out to die. It just doesn't happen. Maybe that's what she's afraid of: not knowing what to do."

"My sentiments exactly, Timothy," Ducky said. "Ziva has faced a lot of damage over the years, especially to the heart but she has always had NCIS to fall back on. When she was with Tony, it was like she was using up her reserve, and she had nothing there anymore. Nothing to catch her when she fell, and with baby Willow, a heavier load to carry on the way."

"But why break up with Tony?" Abby asked, pushing herself out of McGee's grasp.

"I think she thought that if she let herself fall for too long, she wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces anymore," Ducky said.

At the sound of an all too familiar _ding _they all panicked. Gibbs didn't know about this, and knowing him he probably wouldn't approve of it, especially not while they were working a case.

"So I ran the DNA tests and…" Abby adlibbed. "Hey Gibbs!"

"Hey, Abs," Gibbs replied, eyeing McGee and Ducky suspiciously. "Got those test results back yet?"

Her perfectly white teeth bit into her crimson lip. But as if on cue, her computer chimed with the results. She raced over to her computer and brought up the results.

"Well, the prints on the weapon were all from the victims, so it's really starting to look like a suicide," she told him, eagerly waiting for him to hand over the fresh Caf-Pow that he was holding.

Gibbs glanced around the room once more. "Care to share why you two are down in the lab in the middle of the day?"

"We..um…" McGee stammered, looking to Ducky, then to Abby, then back to Gibbs. "We were discussing the case."

The other two nodded eagerly.

Gibbs shrugged. "I don't wanna know about it." Then, handing Abby her drink, he headed for the door, colliding with an already nervous Palmer on the way out, returning from his trip.

"I'm so sorry, Agent Gibbs, I…"

Gibbs glared at the gremlin.

He feebly held up the little container in his hand. "I brought dip."

…

"So," Abby said, her mouth full of biscuits, "we're all clear on the plan?"

Everyone nodded and Abby swallowed her mouthful. "Good. McGee, you will continue to be on Tony duty. If anything changes with him, make sure you notify me or one of the other team members. Duck-man—"

"Oh, believe me, Abby, I do believe my previous briefing was substantially detailed, but thank you anyway," Ducky interrupted.

"OK, we're all set then. We meet again in one week."

Palmer raised his hand in the air like a timid schoolboy.

"Black Lung," Abby nodded, signalling for him to continue.

"Um, I'm not really sure what I should do," he stuttered unsurely.

"That's easy. Don't forget the dip next time!"

Just as Abby was about to bang the gavel for the end of the meeting, Jimmy's hand raised again.

"What is it, Palmer?" Abby asked with her hands on her hips, exasperated.

"Can I go pee?"

Abby rolled her eyes. Thank the Lord the boy was book-smart.

**A/N: Well, things are looking up. Please review :)**


	40. Left Behind

_16__th__ July 2011_

_1500 Hours_

"Welcome to the third meeting of the TCP," Abby stated, a little less excited than previous meetings. "Today, we have a new member."

She sighed, and gestured to the doorway, through which stepped none other than Agent Barrett.

"Barrett?" McGee asked, his face twisted in confusion. "Why?"

The girl looked upset, and shrugged, approaching the crowded table. "After what I did to Tony, and to Ziva, it's the least I can do," she stated simply.

_23__rd__ July 2011  
0800 Hours_

It was over.

It was all over.

When Tony was awoken by his alarm that Saturday, the house felt even emptier than it had for the past six weeks.

_She must have come last night, _he thought. _While I was still at work._

The closet was completely empty of anything belonging to Ziva that she had left behind. The bottle of perfume she had left on the nightstand was gone, the little space that it had occupied looking clean in contrast with the thin layer of dust that lay on the rest of it. On the harder nights, after drinking a little too much, he would spray some of the perfume on his pillow, just so he could fall asleep and pretend that she was there, that he could smell her. All the little things that reminded him of her were gone.

In the middle of the coffee table had rested a shoebox, with a note attached to the top. Butterflies swirling in his empty stomach, he picked it up and scanned the curly writing with his tired eyes.

_Dear Tony,_

_Tonight, I am leaving. I have a lease on a house outside the city, about a two hour drive away. I will make sure you see Willow when you want her. I can't keep you from her, legally. Besides, I thought about it and I don't want her to grow up without having a father. _

_Thank you for everything. I want you to know I have no regrets about us. _

_Goodbye,_

_Ziva_

Part of him wanted to screw the note up in his hand, tear it up into a million pieces and burn the shreds, and part of him wanted to hold it close, treasuring the only thing he had left of her that was real. He could touch it, feel it, smell it. But instead, he placed it aside and lifted the lid off the shoebox.

In it lay one of Willow's little baby suits, and a whole wad of photographs. Willow on the day she was born, Willow sleeping, Willow not sleeping…each one made him ache for his daughter. Then he came across a picture of Ziva trying to brush him away as she was breastfeeding the baby. It brought a fleeting smile to his face and made tears sting his eyes.

There were others that brought a tear to his eye; old ones of the gang at a bar or at work. The simplicity of just being together was enough to compensate for that fact that some parts of all of their lives were lacking in the exact things that most people craved.

He must have looked through all the pictures five or six times, analysing facial and body expressions, looking in the backgrounds, recalling the exact words and emotions from that very moment, before finally setting them down.

The last thing he had been left, and he could hardly believe it, was Willow's bracelet from the hospital. So tiny, he clutched it in his hand, as if it were Willow herself.

The past few months had been hard, but somehow he had had that lingering hope at the back of his mind that she would come back one day. But she was serious.

She was going, and she wasn't coming back.

…

_23__rd__ July 2011_

_1400 Hours_

"Is that all of it?" Abigail asked, setting down a box beside the door of Ziva's apartment.

"I think so…" Ziva replied, glancing around the room, Willow in her arms. "Yes," she confirmed with a nod. "That is everything."

"It's not much," Abby commented, glancing at the small pile of boxes.

Ziva sighed. "Most of what I had—old photographs, ornaments, the sentimental things—were destroyed when my apartment blew up two years ago," she explained, sitting down on Abby's sofa. "What I did not bring here with me I picked up from Tony's last night."

Abby wanted to scream at the woman. She was making a huge mistake, just running out on her family, her true love. She had no idea what she was giving up.

Then something else caught the Goth's attention.

"You left one behind," she said, rushing to her spare bedroom, opening the box that could be seen through the half-open door resting under the bed.

"Abby, wait!" Ziva called, hurriedly setting Willow down on her baby mat and rushing to follow her friend.

But she wasn't quick enough.

Abby gasped as she pulled a white dress from the box.

It was simple, but it was perfect.

The material was plain and snow coloured, and it was sleeveless and reached almost to the floor.

"Oh, Ziva, it's beautiful," she said.

Ziva smiled. "Thank you. It was going to be my wedding dress. I suppose I'll just sell it now."

"No!" Abby yelled, a little too loudly, a little too quickly. "I—I mean, you can't sell it; I'm sure you look amazing in it. Besides, you need something to wear this afternoon."

"This afternoon?" Ziva questioned, her left brow raising. "Abby, I am leaving tonight."

"Well, you can leave tomorrow morning. I want to take you out for a goodbye dinner, and a girl's day out."

"Where?"

"It's a secret. Anyway, it's summer, warm outside. The dress will look great on you. Just wear a little jacket over the top; no one will know the difference."

Ziva was sceptical, but Abby had her heart set on the dress, and maybe it would be nice to chase the demons away from the garment.

"Very well, Abby. I suppose I better start getting ready," Ziva said, taking the dress into her arms.

Being Ziva, it took her ten minutes to be ready. No makeup, she was still gorgeous. She probably just ran a brush through her hair, it still looked amazing. And as Abby assisted her friend by zipping up the back of the dress, she had to admire the girl's perfect olive skin.

"You look amazing, Ziva," Abby complimented.

"You do not look so bad yourself," Ziva replied to Abby, who had changed into a black cocktail dress and black boots that were only slightly attention drawing. "Let us hope that Willow does not spit up on _this _outfit."

Once in the parking lot, Ziva walked towards her car, just because it had Willow's car seat in it already.

"OK, fine, we'll take your car, but I'm driving!" Abby snapped.

Ziva raised her eyebrows again. "Fine," she agreed.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," Abby added, pulling a long strip of material out of her bag. "Put this on."

"Are you going to gag me?" Ziva asked, a little worried by her friend's strange behaviour.

"No, it's a blindfold," Abby laughed, handing over the material.

"Abby, don't you think it's a little ridiculous that I—"

"Blindfold. Now."

Ziva rolled her eyes visibly and then tied the blindfold around her head and pulled it over her eyes, still stepping into the car and securing the seatbelt with ease.

As Abby prepared to start the car, she pulled out her phone.

**Text message**

**To: McGee**

_Dark Angel and Ninja hitting the road._

She only hoped he would remember all the code names. He had asked why they had to even use code names. Her simple reply had been, "Because code names are cool!"

She received a reply in seconds.

**Text message**

**From: McGee**

_Just talked to Ducky. Everything's all set. I'm about to leave with Tony._

Abby smiled contently to herself, going unnoticed by Ziva, who now couldn't see a thing.

Phase One of the plan was now complete.

…

**A/N: OK so here's the thing: I know how I want this thing to end, I know everything that will happen. For this chapter I had planned out a list of scenes. Just for what was going to be this chapter, there were seven. I got to three. Hmmm, this may be a little longer than we originally anticipated. I guess that's not bad news, though, right?**

**Also: YAAAAYYY! We reached over 400 reviews! That is actually incredible. Thank you guys so much! You're all such amazing dedicated readers and I love you for that.**

**Finally: I will try and update as much as I can to get these final chapters up, but I have STACKS of homework and rehearsals and stuff, plus it's end of term and that always exhausts me. I'm going on a music tour for two weeks at the start of July, so that eliminates my time I would usually spend writing all day. I have a little bit of holidays before that, but I do not know how much I will be able to get done. In short, there may or may not be a short hiatus on this story. **

**I'll update as soon as I can. Sorry for the long a/n.**


	41. The Big Plan

_July 23, 2011  
1400 Hours_

Three sharp knocks to the door brought Tony from his daydream and into reality. Though, at the moment, reality was a little more like a nightmare.

As he blinked several times to get rid of what might have been tears if he had thought about Ziva and Willow any longer, he was a little thankful. Whoever it was had good timing.

"Tony, open up!" said a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "It's me!"

Recognising the voice, he stuffed the pictures back into the shoebox, stuffed Ziva's note into the pocket of his sweatpants and hurried over to the door, opening it in a huff.

"What's up, Probie?" he asked his friend, who stood there beaming.

"Get dressed, Tony," McGee said happily. "We're going out."

"Gee, just what I need to get rid of my depression," Tony replied sarcastically, walking away and flopping onto the sofa, scratching at his unshaved cheek.

"Come on, Tony, you always said the best thing to do when you're down is to go pick up some chicks," Tim prodded, inviting himself into the Senior Field Agent's surprisingly tidy home.

"Yeah, but that was when it was you who was feeling depressed. I, on the other hand, just needed a wingman."

"Look, it might help you feel better."

"How do you figure that?" Tony asked sceptically.

"You can get your rebound girl. Just like old times. You can be yourself again."

"Did you think maybe I don't wanna be _this_?" Tony shouted, standing up. "We both know there's only one girl I wanna impress and we know how that turned out," he said, fishing the paper from his pocket and scrunching it up into a ball, which he tossed at McGee. He opened it up and read the words at lightning speed.

"Tony, I'm sorry," McGee said sympathetically, although he knew Tony hated his sympathy.

"I just feel…incomplete, you know? Like everybody's a piece to this huge puzzle, and I'm that odd one that's ended up in the wrong box. I don't fit with anyone."

"You're not the only one that's alone, you know," McGee told him, patting his shoulder. "Gibbs…Gibbs is alone."

"Gibbs had a wife and a daughter. He had his piece, and he's still got it. In here," he pointed to his heart.

"Well, I'm alone too," Tim pointed out, sounding a little melancholy.

"Oh please, we all know you've got Abby and you'll always have Abby."

McGee blushed.

The older man just sighed. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should get back out there. Get all the bad stuff out of my system."

McGee smiled. "There you go. Now go get dressed. I'll wait in the car."

As he awaited the arrival of his friend, McGee twisted the blindfold in his hands.

He sure hoped this would work.

…

_23__rd__ July, 2011  
1500 Hours_

Ziva stepped out of the car and politely asked Abby to get the now sleeping Willow from her car seat and into her little carry basket, and felt her senses were heightened because of her lack of sight. The air was warm and humid, but not too much so. She was taken indoors through a building that smelled old and dusty and had been quiet, and back outside again. She was walking on grass, she could feel, and she could smell…what was it? _Roses. _

"Abby, where are we? And why are we outside? I heard that it's going to rain later," Ziva rambled, a little tired of lacking in her most relied-on sense.

"You'll find out in a minute, Ziva," Abby replied.

…

Pretty soon, a blindfolded Tony was walking blindly through the very same grass, McGee at his side.

This was it. If they messed up now, it was over.

"OK, Tony," McGee murmured into his friend's ear. "I need you to be quiet for two more minutes."

Wondering why he had agreed to this in the first place, Tony replied, "Fine."

…

It was an extraordinary sight.

An archway of roses, crimson red, surrounded them in every direction.

It had taken six years, three breakups and two pregnancies to get here, but finally, _finally, _it was time.

Time to end this sick, twisted game they were playing.

A man in white stood between them, and being a careful man, he asked Abby, "It looks as if it might rain, my dear. Shall we move the wedding inside?"

Not only had the bomb been dropped, but it had exploded, wiping out everything in its path.

"Wedding?" the sightless parties asked in shock, both ripping off their blindfolds in synchronisation and jumping at the sight of each other.

"Tony!" Ziva gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth.

"Ziva," Tony said, his heart beginning to race in his chest.

"Whoa!" Abby cried, stepping in between her friends. Things were in an incredibly delicate balance as it was. They couldn't afford to ruin it now.

The very small audience gawked at the surprise. It was like watching a soap opera. Jimmy turned pale, Ducky looked quite immersed in the activity, McGee just stared and Gibbs, well, Gibbs' seat was empty.

"Before you both freak out," the Goth said, her arms extended to full length, keeping the two apart. "Look at each other. I mean, really look. What do you see?"

The pair locked eyes. You could almost see the embers flying, like the remains of a wildfire that had once been. But neither said a word.

"It's been six weeks since you've even spoken to each other, and you've both been miserable. Tony spends all his free time in the house you used to share, and Ziva, without Willow, I'm pretty sure you'd be doing the same at my place. I know it's complicated right now, but if being apart messes you both up _this _much, then why be apart at all?"

Abby looked at Ziva. Her eyes were red with tears. She turned to Tony, who simply gulped.

Barely audible, Ziva whispered, "Excuse me," before pushing away Abby's hand and rushing toward the building.

"Ziva!" Abby called, her voice a mixture of shock and anger.

"Ziva!" Tony repeated, and Ziva turned around, an apologetic expression painted on her face, and just ran faster.

"Ziva, wait!" he said, bolting after her, chasing her through the roses.

…

**A/N: Was gonna make this longer but I didn't have much time so I thought I'd give it to you. On the plus side, there was sort of some Tiva. Let me know what you think and I'll update soon. Oh, and you know those seven scenes I was gonna get through in one chapter? We still got three left. Plus, there's six more after that just for this one day and then the final chapter. We might be going a little longer than I expected. **


	42. Closing a Door and Not Opening a Window

**A/N: I am SOOO sorry for not updating! My schedule's been packed and I got sick yesterday. Here's chapter 42. Language warning.**

Ziva burst through the plain doors of the building, her free arm covering her face, hiding the tears and embarrassment, causing the receptionist and a few happy-looking couples look up from their pamphlets, closely followed by Tony, who caught the door before it even shut. He was about to reach out to touch her shoulder—that oh so smooth skin he had missed oh so much—when she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around, eyes glowing with raw emotion.

"Did you have something to do with this?" she demanded, standing on her tiptoes to meet his eyes, and finger pointed accusingly to his chest.

"No! I didn't, I swear! It was all Abby!" he blurted out, a little guilty for ratting out one of his best friends.

"How could she do this?" she wondered aloud, panting from the running she had done, and sitting down on a little step, fingers rubbing circles around her temples. "Abby knows how hard it was for me to walk away from you the first time. Why, _why _would she make me do it a second?"

Tony licked his dry lips and sat beside his once-lover. "Maybe, she didn't expect you to walk away at all," he said softly.

She looked up to him, her brown eyes shining with tears. There was a flicker of fear, for however well she knew him, right now, she had no idea what he was going to do, or say.

Tenderly, cautiously, he placed a hand on the soft fabric covering her knee, and leaned just a little closer to her, not moving his eyes from hers, not even to admire how beautiful she looked, especially in that dress, which left much of her ridiculously soft skin exposed to unwelcomed eyes. He assumed this was because it had been intended for his eyes, but he would rather not dwell on thoughts of better days.

"For what it's worth," he said softly. "I think we gave it our best shot."

At the ease of his words, and the naturally comforting feeling of his hand, the sadness and pain seemed to melt away. She held his gaze, but he wasn't trying to look away. They were staring at each other in that _way_, the way they used to before…everything.

Worried she might lose herself in his eyes, she lifted herself from the low step she and Tony were sitting on, as gracefully as she could. The nameless couples that had previously eavesdropped their conversation went back to their pamphlets and the receptionist's phone rang, pulling her away from the anonymous drama.

He stood too, and she was still, as if instinctively waiting for him.

"Thank you, Tony," she said softly.

He nodded wordlessly. Unsure of how else to leave him, she pathetically held out her hand. The gesture was a little meaningless, and Tony's heart sank and the thought that, after everything that had happened between them, he did not deserve a hug, at least.

His fingers twitched at his sides, before he lifted his hand to meet hers, but unable to hold back from touching her one last time, he pulled her into his strong arms. He expected her to shrink away, to resist him, but she turned her head into the crook of his neck, and let herself be held. After what seemed like a peaceful eternity in his arms, she pulled away, and taking a last glance at what once had been her forever, and left, without looking back.

Her absence felt like a thousand needles stabbing at his chest. Unsure where to go from here, he sat down again, his head in his hands, trying to recall the feeling of her touch on his skin.

His attention was barely caught when Abby burst through the doors.

"Ziva!" she shouted relentlessly, and once again, the nosy couples' attention was caught.

Abby stopped and stared around the room. Her friend was nowhere to be seen.

"You're too late," Tony said, looking up at the Goth.

And for the third time, the doors burst open, letting in a completely breathless McGee, who almost collapsed on the floor, wheezing away.

"Though not quite as late as McGee," DiNozzo added, rolling his eyes as his pain began to turn into frustration.

"Where is she?" Abby asked, ignoring the geek.

"Gone," Tony answered, his breath hitching in his chest.

"Gone…gone to the bathroom?" she asked in reply, overly hopeful.

The movie buff shook his head and slowly Abby wrapped her arms around his torso.

They heard McGee raise himself from the floor, though neither moved. Tony felt the probie's hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe it's for the best," he offered sympathetically, still a little out of breath. "Maybe now that you know she's really gone, you can really get over her."

Suddenly Tony ripped himself away from his co-workers.

"I don't want your pity!" he yelled ruthlessly. "OK, I get it! Ziva was the love of my life and I screwed it up! But you don't have to tiptoe around me like I'm gonna break down every time someone mentions relationships!"

"We were just trying to help," McGee said feebly.

"Oh, of course, how could I not see it?" he asked sarcastically, a fake smile on his lips. "Help from the two people who've been fucking around for eight years! Sorry if I didn't want your help, McClueless, maybe you just can't see it because you live in this fake world where you think you're just gonna find that one person one day, love at first sight. Well sorry, Probie, because it doesn't happen!" He stepped forward intimidatingly, spitting the last few words into McGee's face.

"Tony, this isn't you!" Abby interjected, before someone got hurt.

"You're no better," Tony said accusingly, turning to the Goth. "People think you're so innocent with your pigtails and your cute little smile but you're sneaky, devious and secretive, Abby. This is your fault! If you had never organised this _stupid _wedding then maybe Ziva and I could've just had a clean break, instead of me having to watch her walk out the door again!"

The door creaked open and Ducky crept into the room quietly, holding a sleeping Willow in his arms.

"She is so beautiful," Tony whispered, fighting tears as he gazed at his daughter. "She's ours."

"She wasn't your first, though, I understand," Ducky said to the man.

Tony shook his head. "We slept together in Paris," he admitted softly, closing his eyes. "It wasn't the first time, but it sort of felt like it was, you know? Like, we were in a different world, where we existed together, not just two separate people. Like, for that little while, it was just us."

"And Ziva got pregnant," McGee added. The team had heard this story from Ziva on the day of Willow's birth, just never from Tony. The only one who still didn't know was Gibbs, and no one was sure what to think of that. Their worlds had been turned upside down these past few months; no one really knew what to think of anything anymore.

"Maybe it was just never meant to be," Tony said sadly.

"Sure felt like it was, huh?" Abby said, daring to pat his shoulder gently.

Tony shrugged sadly.

Abby felt a small vibration in her pocket and reached for her cell phone, the screen flashing with a new message.

**From: Ziva David**

_Can you please take Willow home? I am going for a walk. She shouldn't need feeding but if she does there is a bottle in the refrigerator. I am sorry about today xo_

After hastily reading the message, she stuffed her phone back into her pocket.

"I'm gonna go," Tony said. "Sorry about before."

They all nodded, emitting thoughts of understanding and forgiveness as they watched their dear friend walk out the doors.

…

_Meanwhile…_

Ziva needed to clear her head.

She walked out the doors, out of Tony's arms, and back into the lonely, scary world. The world she used to embrace, travelling to every corner of it. But now, it sometimes terrified her.

She took a left, knowing that was the general direction of Abby's, as well as the park she used to run through every morning. Maybe that would calm her mind a little. If only she had her weapon. She sighed, thinking of the knife attached to her thigh. At least part of the 'old Ziva' was still alive.

She made another left—the first one she came to—and was stopped in her tracks by the sound of a voice.

"You don't know what you're walking away from, you know," it said, and it was awfully familiar.

Willing herself to keep her composure, although unable to keep her eyes from narrowing a little, she turned around to face the figure.

They had only met once, but the sound of her voice, that evil, smug little smile that adorned her innocent face, long blonde hair, petite figure…

_EJ. _

**A/N: Well there you go. I will update soon. Please review :D**


	43. Magnets

Ziva cursed inwardly at the sight of the other woman.

_Just when my day couldn't possibly get any worse…_

"Hello, EJ," she said, as politely as she possibly could. "What do you want?"

"It's like I said," the younger woman replied, not wavered by Ziva's glare. "You don't know what you're walking away from."

Ziva smirked. "I've known the man for six years, I'm sure I know," she said, trying to walk away.

"Well, if you did know, I don't think you'd be walking away right now," EJ called after her, though unmoving from her position, leaning against a wall on the sidewalk. Ziva huffed and stormed back towards the blonde.

"Will you just stop it!" she snapped. "I admit, I may have made some bad judgements in the past when it comes it comes to my love life, and even specifically in mine and Tony's relationship, but I am _so _sick of people thinking that I have no control over my own life, that I have no better sense of judgement. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of love in my life, and so I learnt not to take it for granted, which is why my decisions when I am…in love are sometimes a little inaccurate. But I am a grown woman. Not only that, but I am somebody's mother. I can make my own decisions, and I am making this one."

"Don't you think you're overreacting?" EJ argued.

"Look, no offence, but you hardly know me, and although you've made a notable change in my life, I hardly know you. But I know me, and I know when I'm overreacting, and I am tired of people telling me otherwise. I was brought up to be a killer, a fighter, and I never wanted that for myself. I believed in love, always, because it was the one thing I knew I would never have. And I have tried, I have tried _so hard,_ but I just keep getting hurt, and I have a baby now. I just want to live in a place where I can just…_be. _I can be and I can live and I can sleep easy at night. I cannot ever have that here. You can say what you want. It does not matter."

"Why not?"

"Because it is not up to you!"

"Are you still in love with him?" EJ demanded.

"Yes," she blurted out before she could stop herself. "I-I mean…I…he…"

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?"

Ziva stared at the sidewalk below her. Every crack, every line, every tiny ant scurrying into the dark…she stared at it all for what felt like forever.

"I still love him," she finally said.

"Then what's stopping you?"

Ziva looked up. Had the girl not heard a word she had just said.

"Love is the most powerful force in the entire world, and it has been for centuries. Think of Romeo and Juliet: written hundreds of years ago, and yet the most famous love story ever told. And in the end, they'd die for one another because they didn't want to be in this world when the other wasn't there. I know Tony would take a bullet for you in a second, and you'd do the same for him."

"That comes with the job. Wait, you are not seriously comparing Tony and I to Romeo and Juliet?"

"Why not?"

"It's like I said: dying for the other comes with the job. I would die for Gibbs, or for McGee."

"Ziva, what happened between Tony and I was a mistake. But not only that, it was my fault, I swear it," EJ said. "Everybody makes mistakes, and if I had never made one, then don't you think you would still be with Tony?"

"Perhaps," Ziva said thoughtfully. "But the relationship was a time-bomb waiting to go off."

Something snapped inside the petite blonde then, and she pushed Ziva against the wall. "Look, you can't keep making excuses. Love isn't easy; everyone who's been in it knows that! But you're running away from it because you're afraid of being hurt by the one man who would never intentionally hurt you. Are you really going to give up being happy for that? Because, in the end, you're never going to find another like Tony."

"EJ…" Ziva gasped, worried and surprised at the girl's sudden outburst. "What's this really about? If you liked Tony, why would you want him and I back together?"

Slowly, EJ released her grip on the taller woman and lowered her voice. "The way Abby talked about you guys, it sounded like I was messing up something really beautiful, and, uh, I know I'm breaking a Gibbs Rule here, but I'm sorry."

Ziva smiled at EJ's sincerity. _Maybe you wouldn't make such a bad agent._

…

_Meanwhile…_

Tony took the right turn upon his exit from the building, and watched as grey clouds began to form in the sky.

_How cliché, _he thought. _I could name at least twenty movies where it rains during the sad parts. No, thirty. _

Not particularly caring if he dirtied his suit, he said on the side of the road, his head in his hands, and did not move. That is, until a dark shadow blocked the little light that could be filtered through the clouds. He turned his head, and saw a tall man with silver hair standing over him.

"Opened up old wounds, DiNozzo?" he asked from above.

"You knew, Boss?" Tony replied in question. Gibbs said nothing. "Of course you knew," Tony added, answering his own question.

"If it helps," the sniper said, sitting on the curb beside his best agent. "I didn't have anything to do with it."

"But you let it happen," Tony said. "Even when you knew it was gonna end badly."

"With you and Ziva, no one ever knew what was gonna happen."

"I used to wake up and look forward to my life. Now, the sun's a little less bright, a little less warm. The sky's a little less blue, the rain's a little colder. Calling McGee nicknames isn't as fun. The world's a different place, without having her around."

"I guess she really did change you," Gibbs said.

"Is it so bad that I wanted it to work out, Boss?"

Gibbs rested a hand on his agent's back. "Let me tell you a little story, DiNozzo."

_1__st__ January 1992  
12:42am_

_Leroy Jethro Gibbs watched himself in the mirror of the dirty bathroom. It was the first New Year's in fifteen years where he had been alone. He took a swig from the silver flask with Love Shannon and Kelly, and felt the liquid alcohol burn his throat. He had been trying to move on with his life. He had tried so hard to change things. But it was no use. _

_Without Shannon and Kelly, he was nothing._

_Without Shannon and Kelly, he loathed himself. _

_In rage, he swung his fist drunkenly at his reflection, and the mirror smashed into a million pieces, shards flying everywhere, onto the floor, and tiny pieces tearing up his knuckles. Blood poured from his wounds, and he screamed without hesitation. _

_And screamed._

_And screamed._

…

"Wow," Tony whispered in shock. "You really did that?"

"Yeah," Gibbs admitted. "But they're gone. Ziva's still around, and she may not take you back, but there's somethin'…settling about knowing that she's really safe, and Willow's safe. At least she won't be risking her life every day in the field. At least she'll be safe."

"She'd be safe with me. She's my partner. Any bullet aimed at her has to go through me first, and last. There's some things in life that are just too good to lose."

"You've lost her before, DiNozzo."

"I'm not gonna lose her this time."

**A/N: Hey, look, 2 updates in 1 day! Aren't you guys lucky! Wow, that was…angsty…Tiva in the next chapter. Reviews!**


	44. Chasing Pavements

**A/N: To my dear readers, I hope you have not given up on me in my time of absence. In my defence, I did warn you there would be a hiatus, but still, I apologise. Here is your new chapter!**

**Also—I have discovered a new love for the 80s show **_**Quantum Leap. **_**A Don Bellisario creation. I'd say it was a coincidence but…well, you know.**

**Last, I am finally the proud owner of NCIS S7 on DVD! **

…

"_You've lost her before, DiNozzo."_

"_I'm not gonna lose her this time."_

…

The silence was unbearable that spring day in the rose garden. The small crowd were overwhelmed with shock, and even baby Willow was quiet, as if she knew now was not the time to make a fuss.

McGee heard a sniffle from beside him, and the pigtailed Goth hastily wiped a tear from her pale cheek.

"Abs, why'd you do it?" he asked softly, knowing tears from Abby always meant fragility.

"There was a wrong, and I wanted to make it right," she said, her voice shaky.

"Was it really all that simple?" Tim asked. He could never understand how a woman with such powerful knowledge of such complicated subjects could look at the world so naively.

Abby turned to him. "I thought I'd given up on love, Timmy. I thought that all those love stories were just that: stories. I thought I was a hopeless case. If two people like Tony and Ziva, who are so perfect for each other it just _hurts _to watch, can't realise that they're so perfect for each other that it hurts, what chance do I have? I mean, look at me!"

Despite the growing volume of her speech, the others in the room sensed that the conversation was still intended for McGee's ears and did not obey what she had said. Neither, though, did McGee. His eyes stayed locked on hers, waiting for her next words.

"But then," she continued, softly again, a flicker of happiness sparking in her eyes, "they fell in love. It wasn't easy, but it was solid, and it was perfect. At least, I thought it was. Now I don't know what to believe. If they can't make it work, maybe no one can."

McGee gazed into her eyes, they eyes of this incredible girl, until she fell into his arms, and he held her tightly, rubbing circles on her back, their fingers intertwining. He and Abby may not have what Tony and Ziva had, but McGee knew in the pits of his brain and his heart and his own gut (though sometimes misleading) that he and Abby would always be together.

He wished Abby would believe that too.

…

Tony leaned against the wall of the wedding venue.

Ziva's car was parked on the curb, empty. And locked, for that matter. Where to go from here was his next problem. He looked around, absent-mindedly observing his surroundings for any idea of where she might have gone.

But then, he heard voices. _Her _voice. And another…

Oh God.

Stealthily, he crept towards the sounds, as close as he could get without being noticed, and tried to hear their words. Ziva's came out the clearest.

"I just want to live in a place where I can just…_be. _I can be and I can live and I can sleep easy at night," he heard her say. "I cannot ever have that here."

Tony frowned. He wasn't enough for her. He could not give her what she wanted. Was he merely a means of sperm donation to her?

His head was spinning. The women's words became a blur in his ears, like listening to someone speak underwater. Until…

"I still love him."

His head lifted, his ears perked up, and the tiniest gasp escaped his lips. If not for the risk of revealing himself and being caught eavesdropping, he would have punched the air and screamed with joy, but for now he would have to stay put.

"So," he heard EJ say. "Is there any chance that I can change your mind? I know it's complicated, I just—"

"You are right," Ziva responded. "It is complicated."

"You can't just give up, Ziva. After all you two have been through together!"

"You speak as if you even know what we have been through! You have been here just weeks, and already you act as if you have seen us through it all!" Ziva cried.

"I haven't, but Tony has, and it took me all of one story from Abby to realise what a mess I'd made. Are you just gonna keep lying to yourself? Or are you gonna wake up from your stupid daydream and realise what it is you're leaving behind? The man who was made for you."

"You can't seriously believe that! Tony and I…we couldn't be more different. The Israeli and the American, the assassin and the cop, the bookworm and the movie buff…"

"And yet you still love him. Don't you ever think about soul mates?"

The blonde's words rang in her ears like a call bouncing off the walls of a cave.

…

"_Do you ever think about soul mates?" she asked him, as casually as she could, leaning against the candy machine. _

_He chewed his snack thoughtfully. "They were on Decca, right? Sing a few bars, I'll get it."_

"_You'll never get it."_

…

"Yes," she answered honestly.

"Well maybe all this time you've been looking in the wrong place. In Greek philosophy, it says humans were created with two heads, four arms and four legs." Tony, who was still listening, screwed his face up at the very thought. "But Zeus split them in half like an apple, leaving them many lonely years on earth to search for their other half. Their missing half. The soul mate. Maybe instead of looking for someone like you, you should have been looking for someone who completes you. Someone who embodies the things you don't."

Ziva was silent. Tony waited with agonising tension only a few yards away, for her response.

"Goodbye, EJ."

The next thing he heard was footsteps.

**A/N: Gotta wrap it up there, it's my first day back at school tomorrow. I know I said Tiva in this chapter—there sort of was. At least I finally updated. I will try and update in the next few days. **


	45. Clouds

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. Back to school homework (for those of us in Australia at least), and had to let this swirl around in my head for a little while. Those of you in the Northern Hemisphere are lucky. At least you have summer vacation to distract you from the fact that there is very little on television. It's winter here -.-**

EJ huffed as the taller woman walked away from her. It was like the woman had run out of things to say, run out of excuses to keep herself from staying where she truly belonged. The blonde stormed in the opposite direction, and around a corner, where she collided with a man in a black suit.

"Tony!"

They shuffled and fumbled, separating themselves from each other, the awkwardness between them filling the air. It was not since…the _'incident' _that the two had been in a position to talk to each other without having the ability to easily deflect from the conversation, changing the subject to a case, or in EJ's case, the annoyingly glary skylight.

"How long were you standing there?" she finally asked.

It had been an attempted heart-to-heart, a personal conversation, truth-bearing and revealing. Not something a person just eavesdropped on—maybe a rule that didn't apply to someone under the command of Leroy Jethro Gibbs, legendary he may be, but has no regard for other people's business.

Tony remembered asking that same question to Ziva once, in the men's room. Along with the elevator, the most appropriate venue for a deep conversation at NCIS was the men's room. Or the ladies room, it could be either one. He tried to cast this memory aside, mostly because of its irrelevance, and the fact that it was pushed out of the way by the thankful thought that it wasn't Ziva who had caught him eavesdropping.

"Not long," Tony lied. "I heard yelling."

"What else did you hear?" EJ prodded, knowing he wasn't telling the truth.

He shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at his shoes. "Does it matter?"

"I suppose it doesn't, really. But Tony?"

"Yeah?" he replied, looking up.

"You have to go after her. It's the only way you're ever going to save your relationship."

He smiled at her. "Thanks for talking to her, EJ."

She shrugged. "It's not like it did any good."

"I think you gave her some stuff to think about. Ziva's hard to get through to sometimes. She tries to isolate herself because she doesn't think anyone can read her thoughts."

"And you can?" the petite woman asked sceptically.

Tony sighed. "It's her eyes. They never shut up. It's like I look into 'em and I can see what she's thinking. It's hard to know sometimes because she keeps her feelings so hidden. But one look in her eyes and I understand her completely."

"I really hope you get her, Tony," EJ said kindly.

"Well, Ziva David is like a box of chocolates," he said with an accent. "You never know—"

"What you're gonna get," she finished for him, smiling. "_Forrest Gump. _Nice."

"Thanks again," he said sincerely.

"It's the least I could do, after all the trouble I caused," she replied, holding out her hand. "Even?"

He shook her hand gladly. The girl may have destroyed his marriage, but as a probie, and the way she tried to redeem herself, EJ had grown on him a little. Abby and McGee had gotten used to her too, and she had lunch with Ducky the previous week.

As Tony walked away, she called out to him again. He turned to face her again, the golden afternoon sun glowing, even from behind the clouds.

"Vance has given me a job offer, to join the team permanently. I'll only be a probie, of course, but still."

"Wow, congratulations," he said, sounding sincere, but there was no smile on his face. "You gonna take it?"

"Only if you can't get Ziva back."

Tony grinned. "Thanks, EJ." And before he left her, gave her a harmless peck on the cheek, then ran to find Ziva.

…

The only way to track her down was the old fashioned way. At least, that was what Tony believed. The road she had walked down luckily was a dead end, with a park at the end. He followed a path through blossoming flowers and growing plants until he reached a creek. Overhanging that creek was an old wooden bridge, with flowered vines curling around its posts. There was one body leaning against the side of that bridge, her silky hair waving in the wind, staring down into the water, and holding a pink flower in her hands.

His footsteps were clear as he approached her, but she did not move. She knew who it was. He leant against the edge of the bridge, next to her.

"I thought I'd find you here," he said, untruthfully. Subconsciously, he was unsure of what to do, what to say. In the end, he decided to just let the words flow.

"Really?" Ziva replied softly, still not looking at him but tossing her flower into the water.

"No, I followed you," he confessed. "I just promised myself when I found you I'd say that."

She took a deep breath and brushed her hair from her face, turning so her back was leaning against the wooden structure instead of her front, but still she did not look at him. "This is where I used to run every morning, and Roy Sanders used to pass me." A tiny laugh escaped her lips, and a sad smile graced her face. "I come here to think about things."

"And what are you thinking now?"

"You tell me."

Finally, she turned and looked him square in the eye, and chocolate to emerald, they clicked.

"Ziva…" he hesitated.

"Please, Tony," she asked of him, desperately. "I have _no _idea what to do. I don't know what's best for me, let alone for Willow!"

"I don't know what to do about that, Ziva—"

"Tell me, tell me what I should do," she ordered him. And he snapped, grabbing her forearms forcefully.

"Stop running. You've been running your whole life. Running from danger, running from love, running from pain, even though every single time it manages to catch you up. And if you don't stop now, you never will. Just slow down, take a look at the scenery. What do you see?"

"You."

She leant in, slinking her arms around his neck, ready to feel the touch of his lips, but he stopped her.

"Look, I've gotta get this out quickly because believe me this is extremely difficult," he said speedily, his eyes shut trying to resist her. "But unless you're seriously considering changing your mind then please, _please _don't do this. What happened may have hurt you but it hurt me too and I love you but I'm not going to just be there at the drop of a hat when you decide you're ready for a relationship. It's not the first time you've left me, Ziva."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I want you to stay!"

"You are making no sense," she said, growing irritated. "I do not know what you want!"

"I want to be enough for you, Ziva. Because I love you, for you. Every scar, every messed-up fibre in your body I love. The pain's never going to go away. If you keep hiding from it then it's only going to become more scary. I guess I just…I want something permanent. Is that too much to ask?"

"No," she answered, almost immediately. "But an easy life, away from everything I want to keep Willow away from, I can never have that for her here, because I know what it's like to grow up around your parent's jobs. It becomes a part of you."

"Is that so bad? It's in her blood. NCIS is our family," Tony said. "Gibbs is like the father neither of us ever had, and don't tell anyone I said this, but I love McGee like a brother. Isn't that the kind of atmosphere you want for a kid? Where people care about each other, love each other, would fight to the death for each other."

"But I don't want death to be a part of her life, Tony. We have all had our fair share of loss, we don't need, let alone deserve any more of it."

"Look, I just wanted to talk to you before you walked out of my life. It won't be easy, but I'll move on, you'll move on, and—"

His voice was muffled by the touch of her lips. He held her close, knowing this time might be the last, and when she pulled away, two words left her lips.

"I'm staying."

"Really? Forever?" Tony asked, his hopes soaring like a small child on Christmas morning. "But why change your mind?"

"Because, you were right. It's not worth giving up the best thing I ever had over fear. I was scared."

"Did you just admit you were scared?"

"In the field, and at work, if something's threatening me, I shoot it. I can't do that in a relationship, and it's all I've ever known. But this, today, seeing you, it made me realise what I was walking away from, and in the end I do not think I could have done it. It was selfish of me. I'm sorry."

"I love you," he said suddenly, smiling at her, kissing her again.

"Wait," she whispered, resting her forehead against his. "There's just one more thing."

She lifted her dress a little, and knelt on the ground, taking his hand in hers.

"Anthony DiNozzo," she said, looking up into his eyes. "I know I've made mistakes about this relationship, but here, today I ask _your _hand in marriage."

He laughed. "You're proposing to me?"

"Is that a yes?" she asked hopefully, standing.

He answered her with a kiss, and finally whispered in her ear,

"_Yes."_

…

**A/N: Yay! OK, so some very very sad news: I think the next chapter will be our last. I cannot believe this story has lasted almost 8 months! Stay tuned for the final update and please review :)**


	46. Sealed With a Kiss

**A/N: Well, here we are! Can you believe it? For 7 months and 22 days this story has been going, and now it's over. Enjoy your final chapter!**

…

The looks on the faces of the people in the rose garden, the way Abby's face lit up like the sun, the way McGee's expression read that he knew things were right again—those were things both Tony and Ziva knew they would never forget, when they walked hand in hand among the roses, approaching the altar with cautious footsteps.

"What happened?" Abby asked, jumping up from her seat, grinning but dumbfounded.

Ziva smiled at her dear friend, then threw a glance in Tony's direction. "I realised I was wrong," she answered simply.

"Took ya long enough," a woman's voice called from behind, her blonde waves blowing around her face as she paced towards the happy couple.

"I thought you left," Tony said, questioningly, and despite already having making amends with the girl, his grip tightened ever so slightly on Ziva's hand.

"Just wanted to offer my congratulations," EJ explained casually, completely understanding her presence being slightly unwelcome. "Besides, didn't want you two to seal the deal without this guy."

She cocked her head to the side and Gibbs sidled up beside her.

"Gibbs!" Abby exclaimed joyously, and threw her arms around his neck.

Tony's hand fell from Ziva's and he approached EJ.

"You don't have to thank me," she said.

"No," he argued. "I really do." For the second time that day, he shook her by the hand. "Thank you."

"What, no kiss this time?" she joked.

"Yeah, about that…Mossad-assassin-turned-liaison-turned-fed-turned-turned-girlfriend-turned-ex-turned-fiance-turned-ex-fiance-turned-fiance-again standing _right _behind me."

She laughed. "I was just kidding. Bye, Tony." She turned away from him, walking back through the roses.

"EJ!" he called loudly, and she looked over her shoulder. "You can stay, if you want to."

"Sorry, I got a plane to catch."

"You're leaving? But why?"

"It's like I said, Tony: Ziva's the one who's supposed to be your partner. I'd only be a filler for her. And we both know she's not replaceable."

Tony nodded wordlessly, and gave her a simple wave. She responded identically, and left them for the last time.

Ziva padded across the grass, standing next to him. "You ready to do this, Mr DiNozzo?" she asked with a smile.

He took her hand again. "Course I am."

…

"Are you sure you don't want to move the ceremony inside?" McGee whispered to Tony. "Those clouds are getting darker."

"Let 'em," he replied, not moving his eyes from Ziva's. "We're not going anywhere."

…

The ceremony itself was surreal. So many words…looking back on it, it often seemed a blur to Tony. But his purpose was always clear: to marry the love of his life.

It seemed pointless now, but Abby insist Ziva walk down the aisle, and Gibbs proudly escorted her, their arms linked. When they reached the altar, Gibbs planted a gentle kiss to Ziva's temple, and threw a wink in Tony's direction, which made the younger man grin even more, if that were possible.

When it came time for his vows, the speech he had spent so long working on was the furthest thing from his mind. Staring into the eyes of the woman he loved so much, all he needed to do was tell the truth.

"Ziva…I can't believe I went so long without realising how amazing you are," he said, honesty shining through clearly in his voice. She laughed a little, grinning radiantly. "I know we've gone through a lot to get here. We lost a lot, but having Willow, we gained so much. I gained the type of feeling that you just don't want to let go of for as long as you live, and you're the only one who can give it to me. Things are right again. The sun's bright again." He looked up, frowning a little at the slowly darkening clouds. "Hypothetically," he added.

"Tony," his name came from her lips, in a way that made his eyes light up. "Before I met you I had very different speculations about love. That it would be easy, that there would be no uncertainty…" she paused, knowing her words were treading on thin ice. "That you could never feel like you loathe that other person. Then our paths crossed and I wasn't so sure what I thought about you, but it wasn't until I nearly lost you that I realised you had somehow made your way into my heart, and no matter what I did I wouldn't be able to get you out. I'm done—_we're _done—being uncertain. I'm ready to jump off the edge with you, Tony."

More words were spoken, promises made, and gold bands were slipped onto their fingers.

But when those special seven words, so sacred Tony only hoped he would hear them this close once in his lifetime, he had no choice but to obey the command that followed.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

And kiss her he did. With everything he had, and at that moment, the heavens opened up, pouring rain over them all, soaking them. But no one moved a muscle, especially not Tony and Ziva. They let the raindrops fall on them. They washed away all the scars, the ghosts, the pain, and they were ready to start anew, afresh, together.

Husband and wife.

Mother and Father.

Partners.

…

Slow music played through the speakers, and Tony held his wife tightly, her head resting against his chest, his hand on her back, and the other on her waist.

McGee and Abby watched them from the other side of the room.

"Isn't it great, Timmy? They worked things out," Abby said, in awe of her friends' beautiful romance. "It's amazing that two people can love each other enough to get through all that crap and come out of it on the other end, with a little help, of course."

"I love you," McGee said suddenly, surprising even himself. Wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, he looked at Abby in panic, but she just smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, too, McGee," she replied softly in his ear.

"No," he said bravely, pulling away. "I mean really." And he kissed her.

…

"_Drinking, dancing, surrounded by the people I cared most about, that night was one of the best of my life. It was like the beginning of everything good in my life. I remember looking over her shoulder and saw Gibbs watching us, and he smiled, raised his glass, and sipped his drink. It was like I had finally grown up."_

The room was silent. The only sound perhaps that of a passing car outside the window.

"That's a beautiful story, Tony," Abby said, softly. McGee, sitting next to her, squeezed her hand lovingly, almost in agreement.

"Yeah," Tony agreed. His arm was draped around Ziva's shoulders as they curled up on the sofas of their home.

"Guess not everybody got to enjoy it," Ziva whispered, jutting her chin towards the sleeping figure beside her husband. Eight year old Willow was fast asleep, her head in her father's lap.

"I know," he sighed. "Why do you think I stopped 'editing' five minutes in?"

The little girl stirred and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "What happened?" she asked unsurely.

"You fell asleep," Tony told her.

Willow yawned, opening her gap-toothed mouth wide. "I know _that. _I mean in the story. What happened to the prince and the princess? Do they escape the evil wizard?"

"They live happily ever after," Ziva answered warmly, kissing her husband, making Willow scrunch her nose up.

The couple pulled away when they heard little footsteps padding down the hallway.

"I wonder who that could be," Ziva said with a little edge of sarcasm.

A smaller figure appeared in the living room, carrying a teddy by his leg.

"Mommy, I can't sleep. Can I stay up with you?" the little girl asked.

"Why not?" Tony said, and she ran over to her father excitedly.

"How come Bailey gets to stay up too?" Willow asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Because it's a special occasion," Ziva answered her daughter, who had inherited both of her parent's determination.

"That's right," a voice continued from the armchair in the corner of the room. "It was exactly nine years ago tonight that the evil wizard first captured the prince and the princess, and that's when they first fell in love."

All eyes in the room looked with surprise to Gibbs, who had visited specially from Mexico for this very occasion. "What? Didn't think I was paying attention too?" he asked them.

"Speaking of which, it's almost midnight!" Abby piped up, glancing at her black skull-decorated digital watch (an engagement present from Tony and Ziva). "A minute and a half to go!" The Goth dipped her hand into her purse and pulled out a bunch of party poppers, handing one to everyone—two each to Willow and Bailey.

"Thirty seconds!" she called.

"Who ya gonna kiss at midnight, Boss?" McGee asked. "I mean, Gibbs."

"Guess I'm goin' it alone, tonight, McGee," Gibbs answered, a little tiredly.

Abby gestured for Willow to go to her and she whispered something in the little girl's ear. "You can kiss me, Gibbs!" Willow announced, and everyone laughed.

"Ten seconds!" Abby exclaimed. "Nine…eight…"

"Seven…" everyone joined in (except Bailey who did not yet know how to count backward. Ziva tried to show her with her fingers). "Six…five…four..."

"Our last New Year's as just the two of us," McGee whispered in Abby's ear, making reference to her protruding belly. She blushed.

"Three…two…one…Happy New Year!"

With a bang, streamers flew around the room and a small cheer erupted from the group. As promised, Gibbs pecked Willow lightly on the cheek. McGee and Tony kissed their wives of course. Bailey, feeling a little left out, kissed the shiny black nose of her teddy bear.

…

It was hard to say where their story ended, or where it even began in the first place. There were so many moments, so many special times for them, but simply not enough time to tell them. After all, New Year's only came once a year.

So much had changed in their time together. Agents came and went, cases were solved, promotions and demotions handed out like candy. Gibbs had retired again, and stayed there this time, EJ got her own team two years after leaving Team Gibbs (which later became Team DiNozzo and, due to popular demand, minus the campfires), though never came back to DC to work. Abby and McGee tried for a baby for a year, and she was due in just three months. They say so much had changed, but had it, really? He still had Ziva, Abby still had McGee, and Gibbs still gave McGee a head slap when he held that kiss a second too long. He thought about what it used to be like. Maybe he hadn't changed so much after all.

But through it all, they had pulled through. They finally stopped pretending and started living. And once they did, they realised they were never going to be alone again.

…

**A/N: There you go! It's over! Finished, done, el finito! It makes me so sad to see this story go, but it feels right to end it now. I am so immensely grateful for all your dedication and patience and kind words throughout this entire adventure, so thank you. I cannot believe something I thought would just be a quick case-fic turned out to be something this big, and it's all thanks to you guys. It's incredibly amazing to think that every time I update there are 203 people waiting for it. And to have 458 reviews, 91,694 hits, and 91 favs, this is more success than I could have prayed for. I hope I can have as much luck with my writing in the future, and it would mean the world to me if you could just drop my a line, even just a few words, what you like, if there was anything you didn't like, I don't think that's too much to ask. Thank you again for reading this story! I love you all!**


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